I had missed him so much.
And I was so tired.
He led us to the sofa, and we sat down, me still in his arms. When I was finally cried out, he pressed some tissues into my hand and let me compose myself. He left the room, returning with a glass of water that I sipped. I cleared my throat.
“Sorry about that,” I whispered, my voice rough.
“It’s fine.”
I shook my head, looking down. “No, it’s far from fine,” I whispered again.
I was shocked to feel him stroke his hand over my head again. “Your hair is longer.”
“I need to get it cut.”
His hand fell away. “I kinda like it.”
“You lost your curls,” I replied.
He ran his hand through the longer top of his hair. “I wanted a different look.”
“I liked them.”
He shifted, not saying anything. Those few words were the most personal we had gotten since I came back.
I wiped my eyes and nose and met his gaze. For the first time since coming back, it wasn’t filled with anger or dislike. It was compassionate and patient. It made me want to weep again.
“Talk to me, Kelly. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I’m sorry Charly—”
He shook his head, interrupting me. “This doesn’t have anything to do with Charly asking me about you working in the garage. What brought you back here?”
I sighed and chose my words carefully. “You were right about Carl. He wasn’t the person I thought he was.”
“Did he hurt you?” he asked, his hands tightening on his thighs. I thought about what Charly said the other day.
“There are lots of ways to hurt a person.” I cleared my throat. “He stole some of my work and claimed it as his.”
“What? That fucking bastard,” he snarled.
“You were right, Brett. He was using me. Holding me back. When I discovered it, we argued. It got ugly—very ugly. I quit, and he didn’t take it well. Told me I owed him. That I was nothing and he was everything. The name, the star.” I shook my head. “He was right, of course. I was just the assistant.”
“What happened?” he asked.
“I, ah, got sick and ended up in the hospital. He packed up and left. Just deserted me in Costa Rica. I had to pay the medical bills and get myself home. It ate up a lot of my savings.” I met his eyes. “I had nowhere else to go, Brett. My apartment was gone, I couldn’t afford to stay in a hotel for long. I had to come to Charly.” A tear ran down my cheek. “I wasn’t even sure if she’d let me stay after the way I left. But she was my only hope.”
“She’s your friend. Of course she’d be there for you.”
“She’s your friend too. She’s very fond of you.” I swallowed. “I’m sorry she put you in this position. I’ll talk to her.”
He shook his head, impatient. “We’ll talk about that after. Is that why you are so thin and tired-looking? You were ill?” He took my hand. “Are you okay?”
I was shocked at his words. He’d noticed more than I thought he had.
“I will be.” I squeezed his hand. “I just need some more time.”
“Good.” He huffed out a breath. “You’re in the right place. You need your friends around you. You need a place to recover.”
“Are we?” I asked.
“Are we what?”
“Friends?”
He was quiet for a moment, stroking his chin.
“Kelly, we have a lot of history. You showing up, us hooking up, you leaving. Last time, I thought we’d moved past that, but you left again. I don’t understand. I have never understood why you left the way you did.”
“I know.” I got up and walked the room, stopping at the window. I stared outside. “I’m sorry about that too.”
“I don’t know what we are, but I care about you. I hate seeing you like this,” he admitted.
I turned. “Like this?”
“Withdrawn, not yourself. I miss the spunk.”
I sighed. “I’m trying. I’m s—”
He held up his hand. “I don’t want another apology.” He studied me for a moment. “I don’t know the whole story of why you came back. I know you’re editing. And I don’t know what made you run in the first place. Both figure strongly in the person you are and our past relationship.”
I knew what he wanted. To know everything. But I couldn’t. Not now. The reality was I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready. He deserved to know the truth, but the words were too ugly to say, capable of causing even more damage than they already had.
“I can’t,” I whispered. “Not yet.”
He scrubbed his face. “I’ll leave it. It’s not really my business anymore anyway.”
My heart sank at his words.
“Come sit down, and we can discuss the garage.”
I sat across from him, too afraid to sit beside him. All I wanted was to lean into him again. To feel his arms around me and let his strength surround me. But he didn’t want that, and I was afraid if I tried, he would reject me—or, worse, I would break and tell him everything. I wasn’t ready for that yet.