“But you were fucking violated. Assaulted.”
“Yes,” she whispered. “He told me if I said anything to anyone, he’d release the pictures. Destroy my reputation. He assured me in a pious tone of voice he’d made sure I wasn’t hurt, but he needed insurance. His reputation was too valuable. As if that explained it or made it okay.” She looked down. “Then he left. He just walked out, and I was alone. I was so ill, a maid found me, and when I woke up, I was in the hospital. I’d had an extreme reaction to the drugs, and I was sick for a while. When I finally began to recover, I knew I had to come back. I needed Charly. I needed the safety of this place.” Her voice became choked. “I needed you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was terrified you would look at me differently. That you would never touch me again.”
I groaned, thinking of how I had handled her at times. “I would have been more careful with you,” I admitted.
“No,” she whispered fiercely. “I needed to be Kelly with you. Your Kelly. The woman you lost yourself with. I was afraid, if you knew, you’d be disgusted and not ever think of me that way again.” She hung her head as the emotion began to sweep over her, pulling her under. “I had already lost so much, I couldn’t bear to think of losing that too. Even if all it was for us was memories. I didn’t want them tainted with this. Your touch erased it all, Brett. You made me feel like Kelly. Wanted and adored. Strong and capable. Still able to be what you needed.”
I slid to the floor in front of her, using my fingers to lift her chin. I met her gaze, the shame, worry, and tears that filled the blue orbs making my chest ache.
“Nothing will ever change how I see you, Kelly. I think you’re brave. Beautiful. Amazing. That you went through what you did and didn’t break is astonishing. That you let me touch you is a miracle. What happened doesn’t make you less. It makes you more in my eyes. You are what I need. You always have been.”
She gripped my hand. “I was so scared.” She let out a shaky breath. “At times, I still am.”
“You don’t have to be scared, Kelly. I’m here. You’re surrounded by people who care.”
“Do you?” she whispered.
“I never stopped,” I admitted. “I know we want different things from life, but it doesn’t stop how I feel about you. God knows I’ve tried.”
“I hate that I hurt you.”
“I hate what you went through.”
Our eyes locked, her pain dripping from hers. “You were right, Brett.”
“About?”
“Why I left last time. I was feeling so much for you. It overwhelmed me. Scared me. I could see a forever with you, and I had no idea how to handle it. What that meant. So I hurt you, and I ran. I stayed away, certain if I gave it enough time and distance, how I felt would go away.”
“And by staying away, he hurt you.” I shook my head. “I would rather you hurt me a hundred times over than for you to have experienced what he did to you, Kelly.”
“I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”
“Then don’t.”
She looked away and nodded.
I stepped closer and pressed my forehead to hers. Her breath drifted over my skin.
“Did staying away work for you?” I asked quietly.
I felt the movement of her head against mine. Barely discernible but it was there. It didn’t work. She was still feeling something for me. I tucked that information away for later and readdressed the issue at hand.
“I really want to kill him.”
She eased back with a small sigh. “I’ll never see him or work with him again.”
“Good. But he should be punished.”
She sniffled, and I grabbed her a tissue. “What were you and Charly doing earlier?”
“He signed in to Dropbox, or attempted to from a different location, and forgot the password. My personal email was the secondary recovery one, and they sent me a notice. Every time I had tried, he beat me to it. I assume he was traveling, or was high and careless, and this time, Charly and I jumped in, and she helped me take back my photos. He had all my work locked in that account, but now I have it back. Charly took the other photos out of the files he had them in, and I have those too. He still has them on SD cards, but at least I have something. And all my work. He can’t steal any more of my pictures and take credit. I never have to see him again, and that makes me feel better.”
“There needs to be more in the way of punishment.”
“I’ve heard some gossip. He isn’t getting as much work. He can’t keep an assistant. His drug use is becoming an issue.” She lifted her shoulders. “Knowing Carl the way I do, he’ll implode soon enough. Self-destruct.” She shook her head. “I know you didn’t like him, but it’s so sad. Such talent and an incredible flair gone to waste.”