Soon we’re circling the city but heading to the other side, where the suburbs lead to the cliffs. We speed through the night, my man and I, the roads almost devoid of traffic.
As we dart across the night, my hands sunk deep into his chest, my helmet resting against his back, and I think about the bird.
I think about the hope he tattooed into my leg. I think about the life I once led, prisoner to my aunt and to Conor and to all that hell.
And it’s not Conor’s imprisonment that makes it so sweet. It’s not the fact Aunt Gianna has moved to Rome to be with her mother.
It’s my man. It’s his security and solid body and every moment we spend together, whether sketching and drawing in the garden or having a paint fight in the art room. Or when we’re making love, not fucking but making love, our bodies fused as our eyes consume each other.
Finally, as my legs start to ache, Luca takes us to the top of the cliff road and then comes to a stop.
“It’s a bit bumpy up here,” he says.
I giggle as he sweeps me into my arms. I slump against him, taking my helmet off, his arms solid around my legs and back. The first time he picked me up, I was sure he was going to drop me, but as the days passed, I knew he never would.
He walks through the trees, through tangled brush, and over a fallen log.
“It’s been a while,” he says. “There used to be a path.”
We break through the trees, and there’s nothing but sky. Luca places me down and walks to the edge of the cliff, a few short steps, making my belly warble. He holds his hands out and looks up at the sky, his fists clenched.
“Are you okay?” I whisper.
He turns to me, his eyes more filled with emotion than I’ve ever seen them. His lips are turned into a soft smile as he walks from the edge of the cliff, taking my hands in his, staring down at me.
“This is where I used to come,” he says. “Before I became the leader of the Family, back when I thought I wanted an empire, when I thought I was chasing that…I used to come here and look over the city….”
“The city?”
He smiles softly. “Come here, Lena. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
He takes my hand and inches me forward, the edge falling away to show the city below. I gasp at the startling sight, the city laid out before me like pieces on a game board, lights shining everywhere.
“I used to dream about conquering it.” He wraps his arms around me from behind, cradling me, protecting me.
Always.
“And after the war, when I was forced to take lives, I’d come here and dwell on what I’d done. I’d plan ways never to let it happen again.”
I squeeze onto his arm, digging my fingers in, leaning back with more pressure.
“Now I want to do this here because this is the next chapter in my life, in our lives. This is the most important chapter.”
“Do what?” I whisper.
He moves his mouth close to my ear, his voice low but strong. “I love you, Lena. I love you so much it makes me ache. I physically ache being near you. Or apart from you. I’m always aching for you. I love the way you look when you paint, the way your eyebrows get all crinkly when you’re concentrating. I love your laugh and how you smile when you play with Jackson. I love the mother you’re going to be. I love every part of you.”
I turn in his embrace, our bodies never breaking contact, staring up at him with tears blurring my eyes.
“I love you,” I whisper. “So, so much. I was afraid to say it first.”
He grins. “So was I.”
“Are you kidding?” I laugh, slapping his chest as I lean back in his supportive arms. “I can’t believe we were both scared.”
“Hey,” he smirks. “I’m a big tough mafia boss, little lady. I don’t get scared.”
I giggle as he tickles my sides.
“Let me say something else,” he says after a moment.
Stepping back, he takes both my hands in his, looking down at me with his intense eyes.
“Before I met you, Lena, I never thought anybody could do this to me, could change this darkness in me. I thought I would be a boss forever, and that was it, keep the streets as clean and safe as I could and then go. Leave nothing behind. No legacy because nobody could make me care.
“And then you came along, my Lena Bonetti, with your beauty and your charm and your…your youthfulness, and you changed me. You changed everything. I love you, Lena. I loved you the moment I tattooed the bird into your flesh. But you…you don’t have to run anymore. You don’t have to fly away.”