H is for Hawk (Men of ALPHAbet Mountain)

“Diaper’s new,” Dee said, checking Rose over while the doctor moved over to type something in a computer that was banked into the wall. “Stats are on the chart.”

“Thank you, Deana,” she said, not dismissing her but seeming to note her presence specifically because it was strange or out of the ordinary.

There was the span of about a minute where the doctor continued to look over Rose and then go back to the computer to type something in before repeating the action. I watched her as patiently as possible, hoping that something would jump out at her and there would be something I could do about it.

“Okay, Mr. Blackthorne. From what I can see here, it looks like she’s doing okay. She is running a fever, but it’s very mild.” She turned and walked back over to me, looking down at Rose for a moment before making eye contact with me. “You don’t need to worry. I see this sort of thing all the time.”

“So, she’s going to be okay?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said. “Perhaps she’s hungry. She might just need to eat. It is very often that babies will cry themselves into a fever if they are upset enough. Have you tried to feed her recently?”

“I tried back at the house before I came. She didn’t seem to want anything,” I said. “Maybe I was doing it wrong.”

“Is she normally bottle-fed?” she asked.

“Yes. Her… I have some formula.”

She smiled, but I saw that she caught it too. I almost mentioned Kim, and while the doctor wasn’t prying, she certainly seemed to notice the lack of a mother around. It would be hard not to. Most fathers would have some semblance of an idea of what to do and wouldn’t be as clearly nervous as I was.

“Well, we have some here,” she said. “Why don’t we give her a bottle and see how she does? Deana, would you go grab me a bottle of formula? If Marie asks, just tell her I sent you.”

“Sure,” she said, snapping into action. I watched her go as Dr. Davis continued to check Rose, almost absently. It was like she already knew what was wrong but was just using her extra time to rule out anything else. Dee returned a minute or so later with a bottle and went right to her, picking her up and cradling her and pushing the bottle into her mouth.

It was like magic. Something about the way Dee was holding her calmed her, and she started suckling at the bottle like she was starving, making little happy whimpering sounds as she did. Dee rocked back and forth, patting her lightly on the backside while she ate and lightly humming. Rose, for her part, sucked like her little life depended on it and then visibly relaxed. Her little fists, which had been balled up tight, unclenched, and the red, flushed skin on her face seemed to even out.

I felt stunned. Not only was Rose like putty in her hands, suddenly not crying or squirming or anything else, there was something else. Dee had never looked better than she did in that moment, standing there, rocking the baby and feeding her. I was drawn to her for so long, but this was another level. Watching how she cared for Rose, how gentle she was with her and how natural she was rocking her as she fed her, it stirred something inside of me. Something deep and hidden away intentionally. A desire that I had tossed into the heap of things that would never happen or, if it did, would be so late as to probably not matter much.

Thoughts about the future and children of my own and the kind of wife I would want.

Deana was more attractive than ever. I wanted to talk to her, to discuss things and how we had left them and see if that spark was still there.

But I couldn’t think about that right now. She agreed to help me, though I didn’t know exactly how yet. Maybe it would mean this wouldn’t be the only time I saw her. I wanted to explore the connection I felt and see if it could go anywhere again, but it would have to wait. It would take time, I figured, before she would even talk to me if it didn’t have something expressly to do with Rose.

Another knock came at the door, and I looked up to see it open. An older gentleman poked his head in, and Dee immediately jumped. He looked like he was a good thirty years older than Dee but had that look of a man who was always in control. The way Dee seemed to tense up when he came in gave me weird vibes.

“Deana, I need to speak with you,” he said.

“Yes, Dr. Sutton,” she said. “I’ll be right out.”