H is for Hawk (Men of ALPHAbet Mountain)

I pointed out I hadn’t done anything with Rose that would be considered treatment because the baby wasn’t sick. But there had been no way of knowing that without immediately examining her. According to him, I shouldn’t have left my post to come see Hawk and find out what was going on. I should have informed the other nurse that I was on duty and would come to see whoever it was who was asking for me when I was on a break or had gotten off for the day.

It was painful and embarrassing standing there accepting the scolding from the older, dignified doctor. He was furious with me, and I could see the trust I was gradually building in him had taken a hit. I had to remind myself I was still new in the hospital, and I needed to create the reputation I wanted to have.

This wasn’t a good step toward that. But at the same time, I didn’t think I had done anything wrong. I tried hard to tell Dr. Sutton that without arguing with him, without being disrespectful. Cassy told me a man was asking to see me because I was someone he trusted, and he had a baby with him who was in extreme distress. As a nurse, it was my responsibility to see to the patient who was in the most immediate need of care.

There were other patients being treated where I was, yes. There were other patients I technically should have been handling at that time, yes. But they had other people looking out for them. None of them were in an acute situation, and I knew other nurses could step in to cover if something happened while I was gone. Sometimes, there were things much more important than following the exact rules and going by orders. Sometimes, a nurse needed to do what she was called to do even if it meant stepping out of bounds.

This was what I needed to do. I needed to find out what was wrong with that baby, and I needed to make sure I didn’t ruin the trust Hawk had in me. I didn’t even know it was him at the time she sent me down to him. That was crucial in health care. It was the human element.

That seemed to get through to the doctor. He straightened up and glared at me through his piercing eyes, his eyebrows pulled together and his jaw set. He stared for several seconds longer than I felt comfortable with but finally relented. He told me I was right about the human element and that I did need to follow my instincts. But as soon as I realized what was going on, I should have contacted him and made sure the people relying on me understood the situation.

The conversation left me feeling a little bruised. I hated feeling like I was in trouble at all, but knowing I was being reprimanded for doing what I knew was right bothered me even more. Dr. Davis stepped out of the room just after Dr. Sutton left and gave me a questioning look when she saw the tears in my eyes and the way my hands were shaking.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“Dr. Sutton,” I said. I explained the conversation, and she gave a slightly dismissive shake of her head.

“Don’t worry about him. You know how he can be. Like you said, you did the right thing. He just likes to run a tight ship, and it bothers him when he isn’t the one who makes the calls. Just keep going and doing what you should be doing, and he’ll get over it. I checked Rose over and she looks good. She needs some basic care, but nothing serious. Do you think he’s going to be able to handle taking care of her?” she asked.

“I’m not sure,” I said. “He didn’t recognize that she was hungry and brought her to the emergency room for a fever, so I don’t know.”

Dr. Davis nodded. “He’s going to need support. I’m not sure of the whole story here, but I have a feeling this isn’t going to be an easy path for him. He should be commended for doing what he needed to do to make sure she got the care she needs.”

I felt like that was a message. She smiled before walking away, and I dipped back into the room. Hawk was standing by the side of the crib, staring down at the baby. She’d started whimpering and fussing again, and by the time I got all the way into the room, she had burst into full-blown crying. He looked almost frantic and turned to look at me with widened eyes.

“She was fine,” he said. “She was quiet and seemed happy, and now she’s like this again.”