“That would be the nice thing to do.”
“That’s what I was thinking.” He grins, and I bite my lip and look down the hall before letting him into the small room. As he turns on the shower, I strip out of my wet clothes; then, while he gets undressed, I slip under the hot spray. A moment later, he joins me, and even though the shower is quick, we both get out completely satisfied.
Like last night, with Sam now asleep and his monitor on the table near me, I sit out on the deck with my feet curled under me, watching the sky get darker by the minute. I smile to myself when I hear Margret laughing from inside the house, and I know if I were to turn around, I would see Blake, his parents, and his sister at the counter in the kitchen, playing Yahtzee together.
“Why are you hiding out here?” Dave asks, making me jump, and I turn to look at him over my shoulder, then watch him walk toward me.
“Not hiding, just giving you guys some family time,” I tell him as he comes over and takes a seat on the chair across from where I’m sitting. When he groans and holds his hand over his stomach, I bite my lip. “I know you know,” he says quietly after a moment, and I hold my breath. “I’m glad he told you. I hate that he’s been keeping it to himself.”
“You told him to,” I remind him, trying to keep the bite out of my tone, and he nods.
“You’re right; I did.” He sighs.
“Why?”
“Denial, guilt, anger, depression, and a whole lot more denial.” He leans his head back and closes his eyes. “I thought I’d beat it. I convinced myself that I would and that no one would have to know, and if they did find out, it wouldn’t matter, because I would have been free and clear.” He meets my gaze. “It did not go as planned.”
“Blake knows you took him off your contact list for the doctor.”
“Yeah, that was my last-ditch effort to protect him.”
“But you’re not protecting him. You’re hurting him,” I say, then wish I didn’t, because his eyes open, and the pain I see shining back at me is almost unbearable to witness.
“I love my family.”
“They love you,” I tell him quietly, and he nods once. “I . . .” I clear my throat. “I know it isn’t my place, but I would want to know. If you were my dad or my husband, I would want to know.”
“Why? It’s not going to change anything; it’s just going to be a shadow hanging over every moment we have together.”
Oh God, my throat gets so tight it burns as I swallow. “I’d still want to know. I’d want to know so I didn’t have regrets, like missing dinner or a phone call or a picture. I wouldn’t want to look back and think I missed out on something, when it had been right there at my fingertips.”
“Maybe you’re right,” he says after a moment; then he looks toward the house and stands up. “I’m gonna call it a night.”
“Sure,” I whisper, tipping my head back to look up at him when his hand lands on my shoulder.
“I’ve never seen my son as happy or content as he’s been since you and Sam came into his life.” His fingers tighten. “I’m glad he found you, that he’ll have you to help him get through things.”
Without a clue of what to say, I nod, and he lets me go. I turn and watch him head into the house. Then, with tears making my vision blurry, I watch him kiss his wife before saying something that makes his son and daughter both laugh. Wiping away the tears on my cheeks, I know in that moment that I’m all in, that even with the risk of ending up with my heart broken, there is no going back.
Chapter 15
EVERLY
“You need to be nice,” I hear Janet say in a tone I haven’t heard from her before, and my brows drag together as I walk toward the kitchen with Sam on my hip.
“I’m not going to be a dick to the guy,” Blake grumbles, sounding so much like his old cranky self that I stop in my tracks. How in the world had I forgotten how grumpy he could be? It’s like I mentally blocked out the jerk he was and probably still is to other poor, unsuspecting strangers.
“Good, you’re here.” Janet’s eyes come to where I’m standing. “I was just telling Blake that his grandma and her boyfriend are on their way.”
“Awesome.” I walk toward Blake, and he gives me a look that states clearly that he does not think it’s awesome. “Do you want me to help get anything ready for them?” I ask Janet while Blake reaches for Sam, who is now chanting “Da, da, da” like he hasn’t seen him for years, when he just saw him right before his nap.