Nadia’s unsuccessful attempts to inhale don’t improve, but they don’t get worse, either.
“It’s not true. I really don’t think it’s true.”
Nadia won’t look at me–she’s staring at a spot on the floor, but she nods.
“You agree? She’s just freaking out because I sang you a song.”
Nadia sits back on her heels and straightens her spine, some of her breath leaving with a heaved sigh. “Probably.” The word sounds bitter. There are tears at the corners of her eyes. I want to brush them away, but I don’t dare touch her yet.
I’m not sure how well she’d receive it.
I push up to my elbows, my feet nearly hitting the wall behind Nadia. “I’m so sorry for this. If I could go back in time and never hook up with Cadence, I would do it in a heartbeat.”
The elevator dings. We’re on the first floor, and the gatekeeper is standing there. When he sees us, his brows slam down, and he surges in. He’s coming for me.
“Whoa, whoa.” I scramble to my feet as I’m helped-hauled by a brawny bruiser of a Russian. “We’re talking.”
He asks her a question in Russian.
Nadia’s inability to breathe returns as she makes fish-out-of-water sounds and climbs to her feet.
The elevator doors start to shut, and the gatekeeper throws out a hand to hold them open then yanks me out.
“No, no, no, no.” I surge forward to jump back on before the doors shut. “Dude, you’re upsetting her more. Just get the fuck off and let us talk.”
Nadia holds up a hand, and for one horrible second, I think she’s going to have the guy throw me out, but then she grabs a fistful of my shirt and pulls me back in and shoves the gatekeeper out.
The doors shut, and I hit the button for the top floor, but it won’t go anywhere because I don’t have the keycard. Nadia produces hers and pushes the button for her floor. She’s still hiccuping and choking for breath, her body in a state of emergency.
“May I hold you?”
She shakes her head.
Fuck.
The elevator goes up, and she sags against the wall. “I don’t need you to save me, Flynn,” she says, closing her eyes like she’s exhausted.
“That’s not what I’m doing. What are you talking about? Hang on, Nadia. What’s even happening right now?”
“You’ll have to save her.”
“Her? You mean Cadence?” My heart thuds against my chest, and the elevator suddenly feels way too hot and stuffy. I shrug out of my jacket. “Nadia, can we talk? I can’t figure out what’s going on in your head. I know this sucks, but I don’t even think it’s true. And it changes nothing between us. I mean, I don’t want it to.”
The elevator stops on her floor, and she gets out. I follow her, but she stops me with a hand on my chest.
“I don’t want you to be my savior. I think Cadence needs you right now, and I don’t. So, let’s stop seeing each other.”
Stop seeing each other?
Christ.
How did we get here? Color me confused as fuck. My entire world is falling apart, and I’m not even sure what I did.
“Nadia, no. I'm not trying to be your savior.”
She's calmed down enough to breathe and look me in the eye.
“What made you think that?”
She reaches up to cradle my cheek.
Oh, fuck. She’s definitely breaking up with me.
“Flynn, you are amazing. You have a huge heart, and you want to help everyone around you. Especially me. But I need to stand on my own. I want to be strong and not defined by what happened to me.”
“Nadia.” Her name comes out like I’m begging. Fuck.
“It sounds like right now you need to be kind and present for Cadence. I mean, you may have a baby who will need all your attention soon.”
“No!” I shake my head. “I won't. I really don't think she's having my baby. I mean…”
“Flynn, you have to figure it out with her. And I need to figure myself out.” She leans up on her tiptoes and kisses my other cheek. “YA tebya lyublyu.” She says those words again that I don't understand.
“Nadia,” I croak. Godammit.
My heart isn't just breaking, it's disintegrating. Falling into dust on the floor between my feet.
“I gotta go.” She turns and flees down the hall. At her apartment door, she turns and looks over her shoulder at me as she unlocks it.
I'm rooted in place, unable to move. Unable to speak.
There's an apology in her look, but I also see a steely resolve there. And that's when I realize.
It really is over.
Nadia has made up her mind, and she is strong. Nothing I say is going to fix this. Nothing I do will change it.
The first girl I want to keep is kicking me to the curb.
I seriously don’t know how I will ever go on.