I’m avoiding him. It’s ironic really. First he was avoiding me and now I’m avoiding him.
I just don’t know how to deal with this. Maybe I’m not mature enough. Maybe I’m not experienced enough but when my mum returns I’m actually grateful for her presence for once.
We go out for dinner. She makes a big fuss about wanting some quality family time, though she spends the entirety of her time checking her phone as if we’re not even there.
She chooses a fancy restaurant. We all have to dress up and no doubt she’ll make Dominic pay. Not that he’ll mind. He’s too kind, too caring to mind.
I’ve put on a polka dot wrap around dress. It stops perfectly between the top of my thighs and my knees. But my mother is still giving me shitty looks as if I’ve worn something outrageous. My hair is down, falling in dark thick curls and I know I look good, in a presentable yet still attractive way.
Dominic’s wearing a navy silk shirt. With black pants, and a Hermes belt that catches the light as he moves. His hair looks like he’s been running his fingers through it with just a few silver streaks highlighting his age. In this moment it’s making him look like a silver fox.
I bite my lip, trying not to stare because I shouldn’t even be lusting after a man so much older than me, let alone what we are to one another.
My mother’s wearing a tight fitted, dress that clings to her body showing off her curves. Showing off how attractive she is. And she is. Even someone half her age would be proud to look like she does. Besides it’s not like she’s had surgery to keep her figure, she works out a lot, she should be proud.
Dominic places his hand on the small of her back, guiding her as they walk in front and it’s hard not to feel a stab of jealousy. She doesn’t seem to notice though, she doesn’t even react as he touches her. It’s as if she doesn’t care for his affection but I wonder if that’s just the bitterness in me that thinks that.
We sit down, Dominic opposite me and my mother between us. I keep my eyes on my menu, my eyes on my plate. I can’t look at him though I feel his glances every so often.
When we’re done ordering my mother makes a point of asking about my college work.
I tell her about my latest assignment, about the new project I’m on. About the fact that I’m being put forward for a national prize for my last dissertation. She scoffs. She belittles and Dominic frowns, taking her hand, and then he tells me what a great achievement it is. He tells me how proud I should be, and that I deserve a prize for how hard I’m working.
“She doesn’t work hard.” My mum says cutting across him.
“That’s not true Terri. She’s worked non-stop these last few weeks.” He says like he hasn’t been hiding out, pretending I don’t exist.
My mother throws me a look. “No harder than anyone else though.”
I roll my eyes and take a sip of my drink. I know why she is how she is. She sees my dad in me. When she looks at me that’s all she sees, her own failures, her own mistakes. It doesn’t help that I have his olive skin tone, his dark hair, his looks. If I were blonde, if I were pale, if I resembled her more then perhaps she’d care more.
Dominic gets up to use the toilet and my mother calls the waiter for another bottle of white. She’s drunk most of the first by herself though she’s good at handling her drink even I can tell she’s getting drunk now.
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing.” She says.
“With what?” I say.
“With my husband.” She states.
I gulp. There’s no way she knows. No fucking way.
“I know you’re turning him against me. I’m not an idiot. I can see the games you’re playing. You’re just like your father. Manipulative.”
I shake my head. It’s not like I have been intentionally manipulating him. But I did cross the line. Even I know that. I guess I deserve her derision right now.
Dominic comes back and he looks between us. “What have you two been discussing in my absence?” He says smiling.
“Just about her college.” My mother says. “Eden is thinking of transferring.”
My eyes flit to her as she speaks. What the hell is she saying right now?
“Transferring where?” Dominic asks.
“Edinburgh.” She says before taking a sip of her wine.
The fuck? That’s hundreds of miles away. Hell, that’s the other side of the country. She says I’m manipulative? She’s trying to send me away after forcing me to stay in the first place. And anyway, I’m in my final year, I can’t transfer now without having to retake.
Dominic frowns looking at me. “Is that true?” He says.
I open my mouth to speak but my mother waves across me. “Of course it is. She wants some independence Dom, she’s a big girl. Let her spread her wings. Grow up a bit.”
I shake my head slightly. There’s nothing I can do in this moment and I won’t pick a fight. But my heart sinks anyway because it’s more proof of the fact my mother doesn’t really love me. That she doesn’t really want me. That I’m a burden to her. That I always have been.
“Excuse me.” I say quietly getting up. I need to get some fresh air. I need to get some space. I need to get myself together before I end up crying.
I stand outside, letting the cool evening breeze hit me. I don’t want to leave and I sure as hell won’t let her bully me out. Perhaps I can speak to Dominic separately, plead my case. Perhaps he might listen. Though I feel like he won’t. I’ve messed it up. I’ve messed everything up.
“Eden?” A woman says. “I thought that was you.”
I stifle the groan as I see Aron’s mum making her way towards me with her husband and my dick of a boyfriend in tow. But of course he would be here right now.
“Hi.” I say smiling.
“We didn’t realise you were here.” His dad says as if this is a big public outing.
“We’re just grabbing some dinner.” I say.
Aron is giving me a look. We haven’t spoken since I stormed off. Though he’s hounded my phone with messages.
“Well we’ll see you inside.” His mum says looking between us. “It’s good to see you Eden.”
His dad nods before they walk in.
“Why aren’t you replying?” Aron says as soon as they’re out of earshot.
“Because you pissed me off.” I state.
He snarls. “So you’re just ignoring me then is that it?”
“I’m not ignoring you. I’m just not talking to you, until I cool off enough.” I state.
He scoffs. “You’re such a drama queen.”
“And you’re such a dick.” I snap.
He grabs my arm, wrenching me round and slamming my back into the wall. “I don’t like being spoken to like that.” He says.
“And I don’t like seeing my stepdaughter being manhandled like that.” Dominic growls from what feels like out of nowhere.
Aron narrows his eyes. “I’m not hurting her.”
“I don’t give a fuck. Remove your hand before I do.”
He makes a big play of letting go of me. “Calm down dude, she’s my girlfriend.”
Dominic’s eyes flash at the word. “Why don’t you run along and find your parents? No doubt they’re looking for you.”
Aron smirks before grabbing me and kissing me as if I’d want him to right now.
“Fuck off.” I hiss as he laughs and walks into the restaurant.
“Eden.” Dominic says as soon as he’s gone. “What the hell do you see in that boy?”
I shrug. If I’m honest I’m done with him. I have been for a while but I won’t admit that right now.
“He’s got money.” He continues. “He’s got connections sure, but I’d thought you’d aspire to more things than just material gains.”
I scowl. “You really want to have this conversation right now?”
He frowns and I shake my head.
“Why don’t you just ship me off to Edinburgh? Then you won’t have to think about me anymore.” I state going to walk inside only he grabs me. Not as hard, not nearly as aggressively as Aron did.
“You don’t want to go, do you?” He says.
“Why would I?” I snap back.
He runs his eyes over me, as if he’s trying to read me. “It might be for the best.” He murmurs.
“Maybe for you.” I reply pulling myself free heading back inside before I say something I’ll regret.