Good Girl

Ihear the door click. I hear the sound of her calling out.

I feel like such an arsehole as my heart sinks but I turn around smiling anyway. Like the fraud that I am. Like the shit that I am.

“Hey.” I say.

“Hey Dom.” She says, dumping her suitcase. She looks exhausted. She looks almost green around the gills.

“Are you sick?” I ask her.

She shakes her head. “No. it’s just been a long two weeks.”

“Let me make you a drink then.” I hear myself say as if on autopilot.

“Non-alcoholic. I’ve drunk so much of late.” She says.

I raise my eyebrows. When has my wife ever turned down a drink? Still, her drinking less would be a vast improvement.

“Here you go.” I say passing her juice.

She smiles taking it. “Where’s Eden?”

“At the library. She’s got a dissertation she’s finishing up.” In truth I think she’s hiding out there but I don’t blame her. If I could I’d do the same right now. It’d certainly be easier than playing the doting husband.

“How’s she been?”

“Fine.” I say.

“And she’s studying properly again?”

“She never stopped. She’s a good kid.” I state and internally cringe because she’s not a kid. She’s a grown woman, studying for a degree. Christ, who am I trying to convince there?

She’s my stepdaughter.

And I’ve been fucking her nonstop since Terri left. And my only regret right now is that when she gets home I won’t be able to bend her over this island and fuck her relentlessly until she’s lost her voice from screaming so much.

Terri nods. “How about we go out for dinner, just the two of us?”

“Would you like that?”

She smiles. “We never spend any time together of late. I think it would be good too.”

I swallow the feeling in me. As much as I want to make an excuse I can hardly turn her down right now. And besides there’s nothing wrong with just a meal. Nothing untoward in itself. And yet it feels…

“We could eat here.” I hear myself saying. “I could cook. You look tired anyway.”

“Okay then.” She says pulling a bar stool. Christ she’s never given in like that before.

I smile. “Why don’t you go take a shower? I’ll start cooking something now.”

She gets up and goes and I frown wondering, hoping, god praying, that she’s not making some weird attempt at rekindling this relationship because we both know it’s been dying a slow death for well over a year.

She comes back just as I’m ready to serve up. She’s wearing a silk robe. Her hair is down. She looks beautiful but as I look at her all I can think of is that I wish it was her daughter opposite me. I wish it was Eden.

“Here you go.” I say putting the plate of fettuccini in front of her.

She barely waits for me to sit before she’s tucking in. Maybe that’s where Eden gets her love of food from. Fuck, I shake the thought out of my head because I don’t want to compare them. It feels wrong.

Perverted almost.

The mother and the daughter. I’ve fucked them both.

“Tell me about your project.” I say and she does. She explains in great depth about the client, about the marketing plan, the budget. I can see she’s passionate and it makes me remember how she used to be, how we used to be, when we were first dating.

I make a joke about some place we went years ago. She laughs.

“What about that trip to Hawaii we went on?” She says. “The one that you pitched as five star.”

“It was according to the website.” I say and we both laugh.

And then I hear the door click. I can’t help it, I look up and my eyes meet hers. She gives me a small secretive smile before heading over.

“Welcome home mum.” She says as I try not to study her face, as I try not to act suspiciously.

“We’re just having dinner. Do you want some? I’ve made enough.” I say.

“No I’m good.” Eden says. “I ate something already. And I have some studying to do.”

“Then why don’t you leave us to it?” Terri says. “Get on with whatever work you’re supposedly doing.”

“Terri.” I say. She hasn’t seen her daughter in two weeks and already she wants her gone? Christ, was a mother she is.

“It’s okay. You two have fun.” Eden says looking at me in particular as if she’s trying to give some sort of signal that none of this shit bothers her but it bothers me. Terri has no right to talk to anyone like that, let alone her own daughter.

I watch as she disappears but just as she reaches the stairs she looks back and gives me a small smile. She’s a better person than me. A lot better person than me.

“She’ll get over it.” Terri says. “She needs to learn.”

“Learn what exactly?” I ask looking back at my wife.

“That not everything in this house revolves around her.”

“Why do you treat her like that?” I ask.

“Like what?”

“Like she’s beneath you?”

Terri frowns for a second. “She’s a child Dominic.”

“She’s your daughter.”

She just stares at me as if I’m insane, as if I’m the uncaring one.

I get up to clear the plates and her arms tuck around me as I put them in the sink. Jesus Fucking Christ.

“Shall we go to bed?” She murmurs.

“What’s gotten into you?” I ask turning to face her.

“Nothing.” She sighs putting her hands on my chest. “I just think we’ve spent so much time apart of late and it’s made me realise how much I miss you.”

“Terri…”

“I want to rebalance my life. Spend more time with you.”

“Why now?”

She shrugs. “I guess it feels like time’s running out.”

“On what?”

She stares up at me, tilting her head. “Us having a baby.”

“Excuse me?” I say. For years I wanted kids, hell I still do on some level, but Terri made it clear from the get go she wasn’t interested and at the time I thought she’d change her mind. Only she kept stating what a mistake Eden was and she wouldn’t make the same one twice. I guess I should be grateful for that now because if we had a child together it would make this whole situation even more of a car crash.

But now suddenly she wants to have a baby? She’s about to turn forty. She really wants to have baby at this stage in her life? The fuck is going on?

“I want us to be a family.” She says.

“We are a family.” I say.

“I want us to start our own family. You and me.”

“What about Eden?”

“What about her?” She hisses.

“She’s part of this family too.” I snap.

“Why are you always so concerned with Eden these days?” She says. “I’m the one you’re married too. Maybe you should look out for your wife more.”

I don’t even know how to respond I just stare at her.

“Dominic you want children. You’ve always wanted children. Why don’t we start trying? We could have a baby, be happy again.”

“A baby doesn’t fix the issues we have.” I state.

“So you admit that there are issues.” She says stepping back, folding her arms.

“Of course there fucking are.” I snarl. Christ I’d be an idiot not to know it.

“Okay, well how about we work on the intimacy and maybe the rest will fix itself.”

“Are you that desperate for sex right now?” I growl.

“Maybe I am Dominic. Maybe I miss my husband and want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.” She’s touching me again. And in this moment I can’t stand it.

“No, don’t pull this shit.” I say.

And she huffs storming off before I can get another word in.