Reluctant Love, Part One

I could almost picture the wide grin that I knew would be across Alex’s face, but I didn’t dare turn to face him with the heated cheeks that I had.

I tried but couldn’t help looking at the way that they were well-dressed and I was still standing in my uniform. Even Alex was better dressed then I was in his plaid shirt and jeans.

Thankfully, they didn’t stay for very long. Ally said that she didn’t want to be anywhere but her bed and Jake seemed inclined to go with whatever made the baby the happiest and safest. So, after ordering their food, the couple left, waving goodbye as they went.

“Guess that means you’re picking up the tab,” I told Alex as I waved back at them.

“You seem happy for them,” Alex brought back my attention to him.

“I am,” I replied, realizing that he only knew my emotions because I was still smiling like an idiot.

“I take it that you want kids someday too?”

My face dropped as the waitress came over with our food. I suddenly found interest in the tablecloth until she was gone. I felt his eyes on me, but didn’t look up.

“Actually, no,” I said finally. “I don’t think that I’ll ever want children. Don’t get me wrong, I love them, but …” I shrugged. “I just don’t think I want them.”

He was quiet for so long that I looked up. I could’ve sworn that he was clenching his jaw but softened it when he realized that I saw. “Is it because you can’t have them?”

I shook my head. “I can have kids, believe me. I just don’t want them.”

“Then why?”

I furrowed my brows. “I don’t know. Do you want them?”

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second. Then he picked up his fork and spoon and pointed at my food. “You should eat. You only have like a half hour left.” He didn’t wait for me to eat first like he usually did.

“Alex,” I said, prompting him.

“The salad’s really good. You should try that first,” he said before taking a bite of the lettuce and spitting it back out. “Scratch that, it’s way too soaked in dressing.”

I half-chuckled but still stared at him with inquisitive eyes. It seemed a little unfair that I answered his questions, but he couldn’t answer mine, especially when it was something that was this important. Not that what I gave was an exact answer, but it was answer enough to address the main question.

“Eat,” he ordered when he realized that I hadn’t touched my food yet.

Rolling my eyes, I dug in and let the subject drop. We’d address it when it was needed, I was sure.