If My Heart Could See You (The MacLarens 1)

Fourteen

Amiria raced her horse Caliana with Ian and her guardsmen as if Hell’s demons were fast on her heels. Perchance fiends were less of a threat to her piece of mind than the dragon haunting her every waking hour. No matter what she did or where she roamed, he was always there in the forefront of her mind, training her to be a great and noble knight by day and invading her sleeping dreams with a kiss she had never felt during the restless night.

Several days had passed since Amiria’s latest fiasco with her liege lord, as she continued to try to forget the feel of her hands set upon his muscled chest. ’Twas with an appreciative sense of relief that afternoon when Dristan called a halt to the day’s torture and selected but a handful of his garrison to accompany him to places unknown. To her, it mattered not where he had gone, so long as she was free from the dreaded beast for a spell.

’Twas when she called her own guardsmen to her after Dristan had departed that she caught the eye of his captain, staring at her most earnestly. Riorden had called her to join him, but she chose to ignore his summons. Amiria was sure that she, or at least Aiden as ’twere, would pay, and pay dearly, for the slight come the evening hours. For now, she cared not what price she was to forfeit for her insolence this day. Her only thought was to feel the wind on her face, her steed beneath her, and to arrive at the destination she had in mind so she could enjoy the remainder of the day.

Amiria slowed her pace when her guards entered the forest and made their way at a more leisurely pace. There was in truth no other option due to the density of the trees as they rode in single file. A sigh escaped her, and she began to enjoy the small respite from the rigorous routine that had become her life of late. She chanced a glance backwards towards Ian and knew in her heart he was well aware of where she led her faithful loyal group of clansmen. From the grimace on his face, ’twas clear he was not pleased with her choice.

She pressed ever onward whilst she continued to soak in the rays of sunshine, peeking through the leaves above her. ’Twas surprisingly warm for this time of year, and she was thankful for the warmth of the late afternoon hours, considering what she had in mind for herself. She raised her face to feel the heat of the sun as her mare continued forward. A sudden peacefulness she had not been able to sense in a long while came over her. The day was truly lovely, and she would enjoy it fully for as long as the moment was allowed to last. She knew ’twould not be for long.

As they rounded a bend, her group came upon a glade filled with tall grass and blooming flowers. Amiria halted her horse with a smile of pure pleasure and slid from the saddle to the ground beneath her. She gave the animal a well-deserved pat of affection and was rewarded with a gentle nuzzle begging for more. She gave a joyful laugh and obliged Caliana, for it had been some time since she had been afforded the luxury of riding her horse with no other purpose but the sheer thrill of it. She was especially fond of the dark brown mare with its black mane and tail for she had been a gift most recently given from her father. Amiria treasured every opportunity that presented itself for her to become one with her horse.

She viewed her men as they dismounted, and they began to talk amongst themselves.

Ian came to her and stood silently at her side. “I like not what you have in mind,” he protested sullenly, giving her a thunderous look.

She ignored him, tired of his constant disapproving looks lately. It seemed she could do nothing right anymore in the eyes of her captain.

“No harm will come to me with you and my guard to keep watch,” she replied confidently.

“We know not where he is, Amiria. ’Twould be wise to exercise caution ’til-”

“Nonsense, Ian,” she interrupted, throwing her helm from her head and reaching for a leather bag attached to her saddle. “Our beastly dragon will not find us here so far removed from the castle, for how would he know of such a secluded place as this hidden on his lands? For just a while, Ian, I want to enjoy my God given right to be female, and I intend to do just that. ’Tis tired I am of acting the boy and on such a fine day. For once, do not pester me with questions or my motives. Just please, I beg of you, let me have peace to enjoy this moment unto myself, would you?”

“I still do not like the risk you take, Amiria,” he grumbled and she flung him a stony, mutinous expression. He threw up his hands in defeat. “Very well . . . we shall do as you ask to en-sure your privacy. I only hope you shall not regret it!”

Amiria rolled her eyes, turned from her men, and made her way through the dense flora and fauna ’til the woods once more opened up to reveal a piece of heaven on earth. She had come here often as a child with her family, and for just a few seconds, she closed her eyes in memory of those who no longer were with her. With a sigh, she returned to the present, since she refused to give in to the melancholy mood that had descended upon her. Instead, she took in the view afore her.

She feasted on the sight she beheld and lost her breath in dreamlike awe. ’Twas a magical place to her, where flowers grew in abundance, encircling her in a magnitude of vivid shades of red, pink, yellow, blue, and purple. She knew not how they still bloomed this late in the season, but she was in-deed happy she would be able to enjoy their essence. But the foliage was not the only reason she wanted to escape to this haven, and with one last look to ensure she was truly alone, she began to strip the filthy disgusting clothing from her per-son. Leaving them in a dirty heap in the green blades of grass, she ran naked to a rock ledge, climbed atop it, and leapt into the air, plunging herself into deep warm water. With sure long strokes, she swam in the pool fed by a nearby bubbling spring. A waterfall from high above the mountainside completed the backdrop of perfection, although the water from that source could certainly take one’s breath away from the coldness that rained down in a constant cascade.

To say her swim was refreshing was an understatement, and afore long she swam back to retrieve her leather bag, took out a chunk of soap, and scrubbed herself clean. Her initial thought had been to take delight in a fragrant bar she kept hidden from Sabina’s greedy hands. But thoughts of smelling like roses might cause some eyes to rise in concern, considering her masquerade as her brother. ’Twas a bitter disappointment she could not indulge in such a luxury. At least for this afternoon she could fulfill her desire to be a woman!

Reaching behind her for her long braid, she began the tedious task of uncoiling its length so it, too, could be cleaned of the grime it contained. It took a bit of work afore ’twas completely lathered and she swam to the waterfall to rinse the soap as she watched the bubbles disappear in front of her. Amiria smiled broadly for ’twas wonderful to feel her hair free of its plait whilst it fanned out behind her in a red shimmering wave as she began to swim again.

For her, time stood still and although she knew she should don her clothes once more, she ignored the promptings of the little voice inside her head, whispering to hasten at her task. Again and again, she dove under the water, enjoying her freedom of splashing around in childlike abandon for ’twas a decadent indulgence she could not resist. On such a glorious day as this, Amiria would take this precious time for herself since only the good Lord above knew when she would have another moment as this to relish the life he had granted her.

Climbing out of the water slightly breathless, she looked at her forgotten soiled garments and could not bear the thought of donning them just yet. Instead, she laid down in the soft blades of grass and stared above, watching the fluffy white clouds, in an otherwise clear blue sky, take shape in her imagination. The sun beat down, warming her skin ’til she felt her eyes begin to flutter in sleep. Her sweet dreams took her deeper and deeper within its waiting arms and bequeathed Amiria a vivid vision of naked limbs intertwined in an intimate lovers embrace. She would awake, unfortunately, to her worst nightmare.

She bolted upright at the unmistakable sound of arguing men. Disoriented from her slumber, she hurriedly surveyed her surroundings and the direction of the disturbance. Ian’s voice was raised in a warning shout along with several of her guards. There was no mistaking the argument that was ensuing whilst they attempted to restrain at all cost whoever was about to invade her solitude. Broadswords being released from their scabbards now echoed throughout the forest. She cursed at her stupidity of not listening to Ian for once in her young life and for falling asleep.

Leaves on the shrubbery began to rustle quite loudly. ’Twas a clear indication that unwelcome company was upon her and someone finding her naked certainly did not bode well. Looking to the ground for her sword, she recognized her own foolishness since, feeling she was safe, she had carelessly left it in her saddle in her haste to swim. No help would apparently be found there. Having no time to climb into her clothes, she ran for the water and dove in, swimming fast to-wards the waterfall. ’Twas the only place she could somewhat conceal herself.

Her hair was plastered annoyingly to her face and she brushed the wet tresses from her eyes. She began to shiver from the cold, as the water did not seem as warm since the sun had begun to set. She looked at her arms and swore at her idiocy once more as her skin was an ugly shade of red from being burnt by the sun. No wonder the water was cooler than it most likely was.

She waited, scrunching her toes in uncertainty with the sand beneath her feet. She held her breath ’til it left her in a loud whoosh that was only masked by the torrents of water coming from above and splashing in front of her. She blinked her eyes several times and could not believe who she saw come striding into the clearing as he had done so a hundred times afore. He did not look pleased whilst he scanned the area with a practiced eye ’til he sheathed his sword, seeing no imminent danger. She began to pray he would leave and quickly. Unfortunately, for her peace of mind, her prayers were about to go unanswered!

Horrified, Amiria saw how Dristan all but sauntered over to the water’s edge and noticed Aiden’s clothing piled in a repugnant mound. If she but listened hard enough, she would surely have heard his thoughts of how he was anxious to see what the boy looked like afore he was once more covered in dirt. His piercing gaze swept and searched the water in the growing darkness and Amiria knew the moment when he espied a brief glimpse of her red hair behind the waterfall.

Amiria watched in gut wrenching fear as Dristan removed his belt and dropped his sword to the ground. He unfastened the clasp holding his cape in place, and it floated to the earth somewhat near her own discarded garments. His tunic soon followed along with his hose. With a full view of his tautly corded stomach and well-formed long legs, she closed her eyes tightly as he reached for his braies’, hoping against hope he would not soon be diving into the water with her. The sound of a splash too close to her current whereabouts caused her to open her eyes in dread. She had nowhere to go or hide, for the pond was not overly large.

She ducked down into the water ’til only her head was still above the water line. She prayed the darkness of night would descend upon the glade to help conceal her form. Looking up into the sky, she knew this particular request would also be denied her. She tried to steady her breathing but failed, especially when she saw Dristan swimming in her direction.

He came to where she was scrunched down in the water with only the veil of falling wet spray separating them. She attempted to make herself invisible through the cascading waterfall but surely ’twas not the case.

“Come, Aiden,” he called urgently, “the hour grows late and we must away afore the night falls completely.”

“Nay, my liege, I cannot.”

“’Twas not a request. I can see you shivering from here and would not have you catch a chill or you shall be useless on the field come the morrow.”

“I must respectfully refuse, my lord, lest you leave so I may don my attire.”

Amiria could not mistake Dristan’s chuckle to what would appear to be a young boy’s unease. “Best you get over any sense of modesty soon, Aiden, for when you are in the king’s service, privacy is a luxury not afforded a knight most times. Besides, you have nothing I myself do not possess.”

“Do not be so sure of that,” she muttered under her breath.

Amiria fathomed she had spoken louder than she had thought whilst Dristan shook his head in disbelief. He swam to the other side of the streaming water and Amiria moved as far as she could possibly from her lord and still remain sub-merged up to her chin. Panic settled in her heart for surely he was not such a fool that he would not now realize that she was in truth a lady.

“You, too, will someday have a form such as mine and our knights, Aiden,” Dristan proposed, trying to allow the boy to feel more comfortable. “Do not be ashamed or embarrassed of that which your youth cannot change ’til you grow a bit more.”

“I am not ashamed, so be gone dolt!” Amiria yelled harshly and watched in dismay the determined mindset of her liege lord.

“Enough of this nonsense,” Dristan exclaimed annoyingly. She instantly knew she had pushed him too far in her refusal to obey his commands. Her cry of alarm rang out into the suddenly quiet air.

Dristan made an attempted grab for her arm and instead he received a punch for his efforts. Amiria recognized it barely had much force to it nor did it make much of an impact on her determined lord. Again he reached out for her, and this time was rewarded with a screech of outright rage. Amiria quickly realized her ruse was up and her fists flew in a hundred directions, landing several blows ’til Dristan gave a grunt of surprise.

His arms came around her chest in a deathlike grip. For several moments they stood there thusly, neither one moving ’til Dristan came upon the realization of what surely must have mystified him in puzzlement. There was no mistaking his right hand was cupping her well-formed breast.

“Merde!” he growled, and the loudness of his voice caused even the birds above to fly from their resting places in the tree tops.

Amiria dared not move lest she reveal more to Dristan than he had already encountered. All sense of struggle left them instantaneously as their ragged breathing synced in perfect unison. His chest was firmly molded to her back side, trapping the length of her hair between them. There could be no oversight of what he now held lest he was a fool. Surely such would not be the case, she thought.

“Release me!” Her demand burst forth from her lips. She hated how her voice quivered as she spoke. She waited impatiently and started to squirm ’til he finally let go of her breast. He did not, much to her dismay, release her so she could distance herself from the man who would surely not be pleased with her deception of the past months. She felt his hands on her arms as he slowly turned her trembling body around. She met Dristan’s eyes with a lift of her chin and a glare of defiance born of her stubborn Scottish pride she inherited from her father. ’Twas the blight of her existence to be sure and would surely be her downfall this night! They stared at one another in stunned silence, and she marveled he controlled the rage she knew was hiding just underneath the surface of his look of disbelief and simmering fury. She held her breath, knowing she was about to feel the scorching fire of his wrath!