Queen of Nothing

“Is that a sledgehammer in your pants or are you really happy to see me?” her voice was so smooth it was practically dripping in honey as she woke me up from my sleep.

There was a firm round ass pressed against me as we lay on our sides, and I knew I was hard as a rock without even having to look or touch. My arm was already draped over her, so I took her hand under mine, lacing my fingers through hers. I brought them just over my cock where it rested on my leg so that her hand was touching it over my boxer briefs. “Find out for yourself,” I dared her and to my surprise, she squeezed her fist around me. Even though her hand was too small to connect all the way around, the quick firm touch was enough to drive me insane, wanting for more.

“Oh,” she breathed out heavily and pulled her hand back quickly, making a chuckle escape from me. I liked that she could be dirty, daring, and somehow shy all within a matter of seconds.

“Yeah, oh,” I said, pulling her hips back towards me and she ground her ass against me, forcing a growl out of my throat.

“Why Santo?” I asked the question that had been circling my mind for nearly the entire last day and she sighed before speaking.

“Because I don’t think you’re someone I want to be indebted to,” she stopped for a second and shifted to her back and groaned a little. She looked at the ceiling and continued, “Because you’ve hurt me.” She finally looked at me when she said, “Because I know you’ll probably hurt me again.”

“You think you’d owe me something for getting you out of there?” I narrowed my eyes at her but tried to hide the offended tone in my voice.

“Wouldn’t I?” she asked me, and I didn’t answer.

“Do you think I’d hurt you again?” I asked her instead.

“Wouldn’t you?” she asked again.

“Only in the ways that count,” I murmured and she parted her lips and let out a heavy exhale. The real truth was that I didn’t know. I couldn’t predict my moves at all anymore, not that I ever really could. With her around though it was like I was a stranger to myself these days. My phone buzzed and I picked it up.

Álvarez: Tech got back to me, the car that picked Anya up from St. Murphy’s is registered to Alisher Sokolov.

Berserk: As in, the Head of the fucking Bratvas?

Álvarez: The one and only.

Berserk: So, either our little guest is somehow involved with the head of the Bratvas, or they’re tracking their merchandise hard. This is gonna blow the fuck up.

Álvarez: You think Sokolov collects all his products personally?

Berserk: Fuck. Why the fuck is Kane not answering yet?

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP…Berserk’s heavy fist slammed against my locked door and Cecilia pulled the comforter over her head, cocooning herself in with a groan of dissatisfaction.

“I saw you two together the other night before I came back,” I told her, pulling the cover from her face, and revealing the wide-eyed reaction that I loved to draw out of her. I pointed to the surveillance camera mounted in the corner of the wall on the ceiling and her mouth parted in an “O” shape and I barked out a laugh.

“Yes, I’m very good at making bad decisions. I thought we already covered the obvious,” she said, covering her face again but with her hand this time, making me laugh.

“So, Zerkos is a bad decision?” I asked her.

“Ronan is all of my bad decisions, coming back to haunt me full force,” she stated, all amusement stripped from her face and her voice. “Love is fucked,” her accent slipped out a bit with the words that ran through me like a current.

“Santo thinks you’re protecting Ronan, but he’s a big boy, Sunshine. You still love him?” I asked even though I knew the answer.

“He hurts me more than anyone has ever been capable of doing. And that’s saying a lot.” She said with a pause that forced me to nudge her for more information. “But I don’t think I’ll ever know how to stop.” Somehow, I had a feeling that was the most honest thing she’d said since she stepped inside of our little slice of hell.

I hooked my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me. She let out a startled breath from the motion, and I felt kind of like a dick when I remembered her stab wounds. Her chest was practically touching mine as I looked down at her body. I thumbed the bandaged area on her stomach gently. Her breathing was getting quicker and I could feel the nervous energy dripping out of her as she waited for me to respond but I didn’t, I knew if I stayed quiet, she’d eventually open up. She gazed down at my hand and took blinks that were too long before she finally looked up.

Our lips were teetering the edge of kissing but never quite making contact, the two of us clearly so afraid of making the decision.

“I didn’t choose you because you scare the hell out of me. You’re erratic, impulsive, unpredictable, and all in all you’re bad for me.” She said each word describing me like they were curses but it just made me hotter for her that she already knew me so well.

“Yeah? And what are you, Sunshine?”

“I’m careful, I calculate everything, every option, before I make a decision. I weigh out every possible path before I take it, always have and always will.” She blinked slowly as she looked into my eyes.

“That sounds boring. Maybe you need a little unpredictable in your life.” I smirked at her as I pressed our foreheads together.

“Worst of all is the way you look at me. I-I don’t want anyone to want me the way you think you do, I hurt people who get too close to me.” She looked away, “at least with Ronan I know that we deserve each other’s worst. We’re toxic, we’re killing each other slowly but I think I’m okay with that. Toxic is all I’ve ever known.”

“Then hurt me too; I’d gladly die by your hand.” I whispered as my thumb rubbed against her bottom lip roughly, leaving it red and puffy. She shook her head like I didn’t know what I was saying, and maybe I didn’t anymore. Maybe I was all the things she said I was.

Was that such a bad thing?

“Part of me is also afraid that letting anyone else in, might force me to stop loving him. I’m not ready to do that,” she confessed looking straight into my eyes, it was all I needed to hear to seal my lips around hers.

Her lips were soft, and I pressed into her firmly but felt her pushing back at me with just as much vigor as she parted them for me. She tasted better than I could have imagined, and I wrapped my hand around a cluster of her hair to contort her the way I needed her to be. She gasped into my mouth as our tongues swirled together, but it was brief and she pulled back looking at me with a wild confliction dancing through her eyes.

“And how is it that I look at you Sunshine?” I asked her.

“Like I can save you, like I’m the answer to something you’ve been looking for.” She breathed out heavily.

Spot on, she had me figured out.

I was addicted to being around her because she fixed something inside of me. She was like being stabbed in the heart to distract from the pain of a knife in your foot. “I’m not.”

“You are. I can feel it. Let me in.” I growled into her ears.

“Don’t you get it? Everyone who’s ever gotten close to me has ended up dead!” She cried out showing a sliver of her true emotions for once.

“I’m already dead anyways. I have been for a long time.” I whispered tracing her jaw with the side of my finger, “I won’t ask you to stop loving him.” I promised, shaking my head almost as if I was giving her the permission she was looking for. I stared into her glossy eyes and this time she initiated the kiss, softly, and so timidly that it took all of my restraint not to grab her and bend her to my every whim.

I turned the sound system in my room up with a click on my phone so that Tchaikovsky’s ”Orch. Ducro: 6 Pieces” played by Gautier echoed through the speakers and into our bodies. I deepened our kiss as she parted her lips for me again and let me take charge of the moment.

There was a soft moan that came from her. It was barely audible as I swallowed it down my own throat while she ran her hands down my chest, exploring the ridges of my abs and trailing her hands up my chest and down my arms. I touched her back softly and slowly as I lapped up every second of being with her. All I wanted was to keep feeling her skin on me while I explored every curve on her body like I was mapping out her cartography.

I used my own leg to part hers to find that, of course, she wasn’t wearing any panties because she was still just wearing my shirt from the previous night.

She exhaled and it came out frantic and full of nerves and I would bet her heart was racing too.

I gently pressed my thumb over her clit and found that she was already slick down there. I made slow teasing circles and a quiet whimper fell from her.

She bit her lip, but her leg hooked over me, and I took it as the encouragement I needed to keep going.

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The asshole banged again, so hard this time that some of the art I had hanging rattled against the wall in their frames from his force. Her pupils were shot, and she looked absolutely flustered, maybe a little bit afraid, and completely turned on. I shoved two fingers inside of her before she could think too hard and she gasped as I whispered into her ears, “Don’t worry about him Sunshine, it’s just you and me in here.”

She moaned her response back to me and I curled my knuckles hitting a spot that made her cry out loud as the palm of my hand rubbed against her dripping cunt.

I clamped my free hand over her mouth and chuckled at how little restraint she had and how hot it was. I lowered myself down, needing to taste her, to coat my tastebuds with her pleasure. I ran the flat of my tongue along her clit, first up and down and then in circles. She tasted like honey-dipped in shadow and I wanted to get lost in her darkness and be consumed by her void. She writhed under me grasping my hair and pulling me closer to her with moans of pleasure leaving her. She bit her lip and threw her head back, closing her eyes as she surrendered to the pleasure I was coaxing from her body.

She rode my fingers, and I didn’t let up until I felt her seizing and pulsing into my hand and around my fingers. Her head thrashed from side to side as she came with the violin crescendo, and I came up to kiss her. I devoured the sounds coming from her throat like they were a feast and I had been a starving man. She was panting hard, and I removed my fingers from inside her, licking them clean and tasting the sweet addicting nectar. I knew right then I would never get enough of seeing her unravel.

“OPEN UP KANE!” he shouted, banging again, and forcing Cecilia to pull back with a frantic look on her face as she looked up at the surveillance camera in horror.

“He doesn’t have access to my room,” I assured her, and some of the anxiety seemed to fade away.

“I don’t know who he would kill first, me or you,” she said, her voice full of fear I had yet to see in her. Was Ronan Zerkos the only thing this girl was afraid of?

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP