Queen of Nothing - Page 47

Cecilia

Queenofabsolutelyfuckingnada.

I paced the cell like a neurotic animal caged in a zoo enclosure, looking for a way out but knowing damn well I was doomed. They’d be gone all night, all of them. Something about that just made me feel uneasy, insecure.

It was crazy, but at least here, with them, I was protected. Sure, I was living in a prison cell with someone who didn’t even speak, and maybe I was too damn stubborn to take the easy way out sometimes. But Ronan Zerkos didn’t own me, and if it took sleeping down here to prove it, I would do it again and again.

He thought he had the right to control everything I did, everyone I… I bit my lip at the thought of Mateo’s hands-on me this morning, the feeling of his hard erection pressed up against my hand and how quickly he brought me to ruin with just his fingers. I closed my eyes as I remembered the feeling of Ronan inside me, wildly pounding into me with so much passion I thought I would burn from his touch alone.

He took everything I dished out and begged for more and it was the epitome of everything we stood for.

Constant whiplash.

A teeter-totter of love, and hatred that never touched the ground to let us off.

We were destined in the stars, no matter what my Papá said.

I had a taste of his blood and I wanted more, I wanted to bathe in it and baptize myself until I became new. I wanted him to suffer for my sins the way I’d been suffering for protecting him all those years ago. How dare he think that this was about some guns, some money. Mierda. Men were so fucking stupid.

“ARGH!” I screamed, throwing my plastic cup of water against the wall, causing Chiyo to jump off her bed in surprise.

“Sorry,” I said, sitting down on the concrete floor. It was cold enough that I could feel it through the layers of the gray sweats I had been accustomed to wearing the last couple of months. The lack of underwear didn’t help my frozen-ass situation, but I preferred it to the idea of those three jackasses picking out my underwear again.

“So, do you not speak English then, or are you actually the mastermind I’ve pegged you for?” I asked her as I realized this was the first time we’d been alone together. Oksana was still on the fifth floor as far as I knew, and I had a feeling they wouldn’t be letting her out until one of the guys got back. Chiyo looked at me and just shook her head. I pressed my lips into a thin line and narrowed my eyes at her, but I wasn’t fully convinced, there was no way. Right?

The day drew out longer than any day I’d ever spent in my life. Maybe it was the fact that it was the first time none of them had come down here, had I really become so attached to their presence? I could literally hear the seconds ticking on a clock hanging on a nearby wall and it was slowly making me more irritated. Have you ever felt like a raging puta? Because it was bubbling up inside me, roaring to come out and I didn’t have anyone to direct it to except the poor badly bleached blonde huddled into the corner staring at me like I was neurotic. Maybe I was.

The lack of any stimulation was what drove me insane. At least when they were putting me in the box, or physically torturing me, my mind could work a way to pull me out of the present. Moments like this, where it was just fucking boredom though, that was what actually made me feel fucking psychotic.

I tried to shake the crawling feeling under my skin as anxiety cocooned around me like a blanket again. I knew the cameras were on and I couldn’t let them see how much I was struggling. If they knew this was a bigger punishment than anything else, they’d done to me before, I would be fucked with a capital F.

I heard Fletcher whistling the Kill Bill Twisted Nerve song and jumped back into my bed before he came into view. I lay on my side and pretended to be asleep, I wasn’t in the mood to deal with one of the asshole’s grunts. I heard the jangling of the keys and within a few seconds, the bars were slamming shut and ringing out through the empty concrete floors.

Fletcher walked through the room without even glancing at me, his red waves falling in his eyes as he carelessly dropped a plate with a cold sandwich at the foot of my bed. I kept my eyes closed as he made his way to Chiyo with a softness about him. He sat her plate at the side of her bed and sat down dipping the mattress with his weight.

With a gentleness, I had never seen from him before, he carefully tucked a piece of her bleached blonde locks behind her ear, and whispered, “Perfection.” She lowered her head with a smile, there was a shyness to her that reminded me of myself. Just a kid, with a stomach full of butterflies over a blonde boy who cared too much. These days it didn’t seem like he cared at all, and I wasn’t even sure I knew him anymore.

It felt like I was intruding on an extremely private moment between them, but I couldn’t stop watching, and I had no plans to look away. I was bored as shit and it was so sweet to watch something so innocent unfold right in front of me. His hand draped over hers as he brought her fingers to his lips and gently kissed each one.

They sat in silence, the barrier of language differences making it impossible for them to communicate but at the same time proving it was transcendent. There was something there, something so tangible and real that broke all laws of common sense.

There was love there.

And it made me fucking sick to witness it.

I was jealous.

Not of her or of him, but of the fact that they had found love together while here I was running from it in every corner.

He picked up the sandwich and brought it to her lips, she smiled at him with her hands folded in her lap as he fed her a bite and set it down to watch her as she chewed. He continued feeding her this way until the entire sandwich was gone, and every few bites he would pick up her glass of water and give her a drink to swallow the dry sandwich down with. Once she finished the entire thing, he put the plate on the floor and climbed into the bed with her, wrapping his arms around her as he took the position of the big spoon.

Tags: Santana Knox Crime
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