Queen of Nothing

Cecilia

Iwokeupto the shock of cold water hitting my flesh, and as my body naturally reacted my back hit the cold metal bars constraining me. I groaned loudly from pain, my entire body ached from being forced into the smallest shape I’d ever had to put myself into, and the pounding in my skull reminded me that I didn’t get here willingly. My tongue was swollen and dry and my throat was screaming at me for a drop of moisture. I tried to fight through the agonizing pain at the front of my head and was able to force an eye open, the other no doubt was swollen shut.

There was barely any light shining, but the cold dampness of the area quickly let me know I was in some sort of basement, or underground area. There was a drip, drip, drip, in the distance but I quickly worked to tune it out, knowing it would quickly drive me insane and break me if I spared it any of my attention. Whoever dumped the water on me was long gone, and for some reason, something was telling me it was the closest thing I’d get to a shower for the foreseeable future.

How long had I been knocked out?

The last thing I remembered was throwing the keys back in the cell hoping I could save Chiyo. And Fletcher. Fuck, he was definitely dead, there was so much blood. My Tio finally caught up to me and even the deadly Ronan Zerkos couldn’t stop him because he took a day off. A crooked smile tugged at my lips at the thought that I had somehow gotten what I wished for in the end, for Ronan and my Tio to end each other and for complete chaos to rain down on the Cártel and Ronan’s silly Brotherhood. Fletcher’s frantic gaze burned deep in my memory and my smile quickly soured and turned into a scowl at the thought of how many innocent men must have died at the hands of Ignácio tonight.

Because of me.

My hands were bound in front of my knees with a zip tie that was digging into my wrists so tightly that some dried blood was already forming at the edges. I couldn’t reach to feel the bars to my side but the ones above and behind me let me know I was in a kennel. A real kennel, one probably just big enough for a labradoodle or some shit.

“Hay alguien ahí?” I shouted but it came out barely a whisper through my dried-out vocal cords, and I grunted trying to ease the need to not lick the water droplets still on my arms.

“Kill that cocksucker!” I heard a childish voice to my left that made rage boil inside of me. I expected there to be others down here with me, prisoners of my demented uncle just like me. But knowing his depravity didn’t end at children made me wish I had the strength to tear out of this cage and rip through him with my bare hands myself.

“Kill who? How long have you been here?” I asked, hoping this kid could at least let me in on how long I’d been out.

“Kill that cocksucker! Cocksucker!” The little shithead repeated, and I couldn’t help but let out a sob of relief.

My companion wasn’t a child, it was a fucking Parrot!

“How long have you been here, little guy?” I asked my new friend, knowing full well that his verbal range probably started with and ended with “Cocksucker”.

“Whore!” The little asshole shouted, and I tried not to take it personally.

“What’s your name?” I asked him, “Cómo te llaman?” I added, just in case.

“Pluto! Pluto!” he chirped out and my eyes nearly popped out of my head in surprise. This little dude was smart as hell, and I instantly felt sorry for whatever future must have been planned for him. I knew the world of the Cártel and any other big dick syndicate enough to know that this bird wasn’t heading off to a forever home.

“I guess it’s just me and you Pluto,” my raspy voice pushed out as I hung my head between my knees to keep it from pressing against the top of the kennel.

“And the Lion. Cocksucker,” Pluto said, and I immediately began to fear my fate. If there was a lion down here with us there was a good chance, I would be its next dinner. My good eye began to adjust to the darkness, and I could barely make out the shape of the coop a few yards away my little pal was stuck in. It was too small for him to even stretch his wings open, let alone experience flight and my heart instantly broke for him.

“Chiyo?” I called out, wondering if they had gotten to her, regardless of my feeble attempt.

“Chiyo! Chiyo!” Pluto repeated but no one answered, and I let out another sigh of relief. I could take little victories, at least someone out there knew I was taken, but the problem was, would anyone care? Ronan didn’t want me there to begin with, Mateo looked like he could have thrown me to the wolves for asking to stay with Santo. Santo wasn’t even in the same zip code anymore. Shit. Was I? If my uncle had gotten a hold of me there was a good chance I was already back in Mexico. I was a dead bitch, regardless of the country I was in, so I guess those details didn’t matter.

The loud rumbling of my stomach distracted my thoughts. I was normally able to tell how fast time was passing with my hunger, but since I avoided the last meal Fletcher brought me, I was clueless. It could have been hours since they had taken me, but the bottomless pit I felt in my stomach told me it was probably longer than that.

The water was starting to dry on my skin, but my underwear stayed soggy making me that much more uncomfortable. Whoever stuck me in this kennel took off my sweats and put some off brand wanna-be-fancy lingerie on me, and that didn’t float by me well.

“Fuck!” I screamed in desperation as I tried slamming my body against the kennel, and the zip ties cut deeper into my flesh causing new wounds.

“Fuckidy Fuck Fuck!” sounded out from my left, but even the bird’s fantastic sense of humor couldn’t dig me out of the sinkhole my mind was starting to create at a rapid pace.

“She is stronger than all of us.”My Papá’s praise rang loudly in my aching head, but it was the image of Cézar sitting in the corner that stayed etched into my memory. There was disapproval in his features that I couldn’t explain this time. He sat through all of my torture sessions, he even dished it out when my Papá forced his hand. Was he angry because he thought my Papá believed I was stronger than him?

Or was he angry because he didn’t think I should be going through this?

Papá walked away from the dungeon leaving me strung up by my hands as he nodded to Cézar who made his way up towards me. With a flick of his pocket knife, he cut the binds that held me up and I fell to the floor in a heavy pile. I was fifteen now, and played this game with both of them long enough to know that showing weakness was the biggest mistake I could make. I quickly stood to my feet, stumbling as they burned from waking up after ten hours of hanging by my wrists.

I swung my fist at Cézar’s face, but he quickly ducked and threw one back into my stomach. Blood poured out of my mouth, but I didn’t let up, I rammed my head into his stomach pushing him into the wall with all the force left in my body. I swung fist after fist into his chest, his face, before realizing he wasn’t fighting back anymore.

“What are you doing?” I asked him, knowing this wasn’t how we did things. The point was to get me too weak to fight back, so that if I was ever in this position and given a chance, that I could take it and win. But if he wasn’t trying then the point was moot, and I had no reason to kick Cézar’s ass if it meant nothing.

“I don’t want to do this anymore Princesa.” He said to me with a pained look on his face. “I don’t like watching you get hurt like this.” I hit him again and again, and though compared to his size I knew my blows weren’t lethal, but he was starting to feel them as he winced after each strike.

“Fucking hit me!” I cried back at him as I continued to throw my fists against his face, his stomach, his chest, or any part of him he left open for me.

“Stop Célia!” He grabbed me by the shoulders with both hands as he shook me and spit a wad of blood out to the side. “I don’t like hurting you like this, hermanita.” We huffed our labored breaths together for a few moments, my upper lip involuntarily peeled up in anger.

“Then send someone in who can handle it.” I scoffed at him.

“Don’t come to me with your pity bullshit because I’m not here for it, you had your time in this dungeon the same way I am now. Are you feeling remorse because I’m a girl, or because we’re family?” I asked him, throwing my hands on my hips letting my age show.

“My time was nothing like this. And your Papá never put his hands on me the way he does you, the way he makes me hurt you. This isn’t good for any of us.” Cézar pushed me away with one hand as he wiped the blood dripping from his nose with his free one. He made his way to the door and walked out, leaving me strained for breath, exhausted, and completely confused.

Cold water drenched me once again, this time I gasped loudly from the unexpected shock of it as I tumbled out of the darkness of my own mind. That was the last time I had seen my Papá and Cézar before the visit that took every single person I loved away from me. Cézar was supposed to be family. My Papá raised him like he was his own son, but when hell came tumbling loose, he was gone just like the rest of the “loyal” men who followed him.

He was just as dead to me as the rest of my family, and if I ever saw him again, I’d put the bullet in him that I owed him for abandoning me.