MissManaged

Chapter Seven

Charlotte

“It’s the last of the money I saved from working in college,” I finally said after realizing Tobin wasn’t backing down. Stubborn man. “I’m keeping it in case I can’t make rent.”

He nodded. “Okay, that makes sense. Let’s go through these bills and figure out how much you owe. Do you have somewhere you track your expenses?”

I sighed, because I knew what his reaction was going to be but opened the spreadsheet and turned my laptop to face him.

He quickly scanned it and looked up at me with a frown.

“This hasn’t been updated since February, Charlotte,” he said, and I bit back the Captain Obvious comment that was on the tip of my tongue.

“I did my taxes in February and that’s the last time I looked at it.” I shrugged, which made him frown more. “I know I should stay on top of it, but looking at how much I owed and how much money I’m not bringing in is depressing.”

“You can’t avoid your finances by not looking at them,” he replied, obviously exasperated with my strategy. He turned the laptop back around. “All right. The first thing we’re doing is getting that up to date. I’ll read off the information and you enter it in.”

I scrunched my nose and made a face that reflected my feelings on bookkeeping.

“Don’t you have better things to do than sit here with me and do this?” I asked in a last-ditch effort to make Tobin go away.

“It just so happens that I enjoy finance and spreadsheets,” he replied with a smirk. “That’s why I went to school for business.”

Damnit.

“Oh,” I said and slid the laptop closer to me. “I did, too, but not because I wanted to.”

I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth, knowing there was no way Tobin wouldn’t ask more questions.

“Then why did you?”

I heard the confusion and incredulity in his voice, so I focused on adding columns for the months since February to the spreadsheet, and then color coding them so they looked pretty so I didn’t have to see his reaction when I said, “My father made me.”

“Charlotte. Look at me.” His gentle demand had me meeting his eyes. “Tell me your story.”

I didn’t want to, at all, but maybe it was the best way for him to understand why I’d reacted to our first meeting the way I had, and why we would never be more than the friends he claimed we already were.

I closed the laptop lid halfway, so I had nowhere to hide, and took a deep breath.

“My father is an extremely controlling man. He viewed my mother, my sister, and I as property that he owned. He told us how to act, what to wear, what activities to be involved in, and what to study in school. And he did that by controlling every cent of money he made and telling us we were too stupid to make decisions for ourselves.” Summarizing twenty years of emotional and financial abuse into a few sentences wasn’t easy, but I covered the important bits.

At least I thought I did.

Tobin didn’t agree.

“Did he physically abuse you?” he demanded, loud enough to make me jump. “Sorry, little fairy. I’m not mad at you, this is just hard to hear.”

I nodded. “It’s hard for me to talk about.” Another deep breath. “No. He didn’t hit us, but he monitored everything we did and made sure we were completely dependent on him. He forced me to get a degree in business when I really wanted to go into photography and graphic design. His plan was to have me come work for his construction business after I graduated. Fortunately, I convinced him that a minor in marketing could only help, and I snuck a few web design and photography classes in there as electives.”

Tobin’s face was a stony mask of barely repressed anger when I met his gaze, but I wasn’t afraid. Somehow, I knew he wouldn’t lash out at me.

“What happened after college?” he asked.

“I got a job at a marketing company my junior year that I told him was an internship but actually paid pretty well. He thought I was learning how to be a good office manager when I was really learning how to effectively market small businesses and how to build my own. The woman who owned the company was a great mentor to me, and I shared my situation pretty early on. She taught me what I needed to know to hide what I earned and make a plan to start my own business. She even threw me a few small clients who couldn’t afford her services and were willing to take a shot on a newbie.”

He relaxed back into his seat as I spoke and some of the tension cleared the room. “She sounds great. I’m glad you had her to help you. So, you just ran away after graduation?”

“Pretty much. I sent him and my mother an email saying I had no interest in working at his company and I was moving on to do my own thing. I got a couple angry emails in response but I closed that email account and deleted the rest of my online presence so he had no way to contact me. I’d already gotten a new cell phone and set up business accounts online so that’s what I use now.”

Tobin considered my words for a moment. “Have you talked to your family at all since then?”

“I’ve emailed my sister from a different email address to let her know I would help her leave. She’s in college now but my father wasn’t as hard on her as he was on me, so at first, she wasn’t interested. But I think he realized I’m not coming back and wants her to come work for him, so he’s getting worse.” I shrugged like it didn’t matter when that was the furthest thing from the truth. “I’ll help her if she asks but I can’t force her and I’m not willing to get more involved and risk my sanity. And my mother is a lost cause. She won’t ever leave.”

“Thanks for telling me that, Charlotte,” he said. “It really helps me understand where you’re coming from.”

I suspected he meant more than just the abysmal state of my finances, but I blocked that thought out.

“I feel like my father was right and that I can’t take care of myself,” I admitted. “I know what I should be doing, but I just keep making bad choices.”

It was the first time I’d said the words out loud, and I worried that letting my fear of failure loose in the universe might give it life. That just saying the words would make my business fail and my life fall apart.

“No,” Tobin barked, startling me out of my pity party. “That’s not true. You can do this. You’re intelligent and strong and good at what you do.”

“How can you say that?” I cried, emotion getting the best of me. “I have no food in my fridge, my bills are two months behind, and I can’t even bring myself to take the job my friend is offering me because I’m scared of disappointing her.”

I should have been mortified by what I’d said and by how much I’d revealed to Tobin. But I wasn’t. It felt freeing to have someone to share my worries with, even if he may have been the wrong person.

“We’re going to fix all that,” he announced. “You need someone to encourage you, first off, and then someone to help you manage your finances. I’m that person.” The way he confidently decreed he was appointing himself to run my life raised my hackles, but before I could argue, he continued, “I mean, I will be that person if you’ll let me.” He paused and reached across the table to grab my hand. “Will you allow me to help you with this, Charlotte?”

I took a minute—actually several—to consider his offer.

Our first meeting hadn’t gone well because of his assumptions and ego, but since then he’d been mostly professional, and I could see how much he was trying.

On the other hand, less than an hour ago he’d flipped me over his knee and spanked me! But he hadn’t actually hurt me, and I couldn’t truthfully say I didn’t deserve it. I did hit the man.

The bottom line was that I wanted to be successful. I wanted to prove my father wrong. And I knew I was capable of fulfilling my dreams.

“Okay,” I replied. “We can try.”