Clearing my throat, I pull Melody back against me, finally able to breathe for a moment at her contact. "Melody, these are some of your roommates for the next foreseeable future. Chelsea."
Her head snaps up, and her legs close together.
"Yes, Professor?"
"You will be in charge of getting Melody ready for tonight. I want her prepared specifically for me. Do you understand?" Her eyes blink up at me, and for a moment, it looks like her lips droop down just a touch. It's a punch to the gut. Deep down, I had a feeling that Chelsea thought it would be us two in the end. It stings a bit knowing I've caused her any sort of emotional discomfort. She's always been such a gentle soul, and it pains me knowing that I've essentially used her and tossed her away. But she remains silent, poised, and demure.
Nodding once, she kneels to the floor and rests her head on my shoe. The urge to kneel down and stroke her hair makes my muscles cramp as I force them to stay locked into position. Her body twitches a few times, a testament that she, too, is fighting these feelings. She lays there as the moments tick by. Neither of us moves. Is she even breathing? My own breath lodges in my throat as my heart creeps up. Finally, she lifts her head up and sits back on her feet. Air races down and fills my lungs.
I can't read her expression. Everything is closed off to me, but perhaps that's a good thing? It's better to cut our losses now than to keep something going that will never reach a satisfactory conclusion. In a graceful sweeping of her limbs, she stands up and extends her hand to Melody. Her eyes race between her hand and my face. Anxiety is etched in every feature. Should I comfort my mouse or let her stew? With a brief nod, I turn back on my heel and head out to the door. I deposit my mask and hurry back towards my apartment. There's still so much to be done. At first, the idea of having Melody at the initiation felt exciting. My whole body lit up and hummed with it. Now, lead sits heavily in my gut. Bile once again creeps up my throat. I thought I was done with these feelings.
Yep. Definitely going to make an appointment with Andrew.