Chapter 12
Chastity
It’s the same beach.Lying back, I close my eyes and sigh as the pounding of the waves fills my ears. This is my happy place. My safe place. I crack an eye open, squinting into the bright sun as it reflects off the water. If the pattern is the same, any minute now, either Melody or Billy should come over to me.
Guilt, something that’s new and far too uncomfortable, creeps in on the peaceful scene. Billy is a thing of my past. I’ll never see him again, and so, he shouldn’t be infiltrating my dreams. Right on cue.
The sound of shifting sand alerts me that my dream visitor has arrived. I turn, ready to greet whoever it is, but stop, shock filling me to the core. It’s not Melody, not Billy, not even the tormentor that fills my waking nightmares. No. It’s Doctor Rayne.
He looks devastating in his pressed slacks and shirt. Smiling, he gathers me into his arms and lays my head on his chest. His heartbeat is strong, sure, solid. Real. Sighing, I snuggle deeper, grateful to share my special place with him.
Rolling over, I slide my hand through the sheets, looking for the wall of muscle that I can’t wait to burrow deeper into. Gone are the crashing waves and screaming seagulls. Reality sets in, and I try to cling to those tranquil moments just a bit longer.
A frown turns down my lips as I find cold sheets and eventually the bars. It didn’t even register in my brain that he moved me while I slept. I know I was out of it, but you’d think being physically taken out of bed and shoved underneath it would have done something to wake me up.
My fingers curl around the cold as I let my mind drift to the night before. I saw a side to Doctor Rayne that I never thought possible; then again, he let loose a side of me I didn’t think even existed. The amount of desire he stirred up with his ropes was even beyond that of the first night when he punished me. I didn’t realize it was something I needed, something I craved. I snake my tongue out to lick my lips, hoping for just a hint of his taste, something to tell me last night actually happened, and it wasn’t a wishful dream.
“Ready to start your day?”
His voice is back to that cool, detached sound, and I worry that none of last night was real. Where’s the man that held me while pouring out a painful childhood memory? I turn over to get onto my hands and knees, noting an odd soreness on my thigh. Looking down, I see a dot of red and the beginning of a bruise, but that’s it.
I lean back, stretching out the muscle before palpating the area. The tissues feel a bit swollen, but nothing else seems out of place. More than likely, it was from the cane he used. Other bruises mar my skin, making me feel tight and sore.
“James wants me to give you some nutrient infusions. He’s worried you became malnourished while being held prisoner. I tried to wake you last night before giving you your first dose, but you were out of it.”
Something in his voice trips along my brain, setting off faint warning bells, but I shake it aside. Why would he lie about something like this? I glance down at my body, noting the protruding ribs. Doctor Bradley isn’t wrong. I myself have worried about what happened to me while I was their prisoner. Though I’d never been fit or toned, I never was this thin either.
He opens the mouth of the cage and waits as I make my way forward. Why am I back here anyway? I thought being in his arms was his choice. Perhaps he was only making sure I was okay before shoving me away. My lips turn down in a bitter grimace. It’s not like last night had to be as magical for him as it was for me. No doubt he’s shared similar experiences with other women. Business as usual.
I stand and get into the position he put me in yesterday, not wanting to start the morning off with his disappointment or a punishment; the enema will be bad enough. The smile he rewards me with as he watches me is enough to drive back the darker thoughts that start to rear their heads.
“Good girl. I’m so proud of you for remembering.”
My breath lets out in a whoosh at his words. Last night wasn’t a dream. It felt exactly the same as this moment. He circles me, his fingers touching here, prodding there. I look the same as yesterday, but already I feel different, lighter somehow. His fingers skim over a few areas, and I hazard a glance down, shocked to see even more marks littering my skin.
“You wear them well. Perhaps I should put more on you?” My stomach churns, and for several moments, I have no clue what to say. It hurt when he used all those things on me, but not nearly as much as I had anticipated. If I can handle those, surely I can handle more? “Hands down.”
As my arms lower, he slides his hand around my waist, pulling me hard against him. His mouth descends on me, his tongue forcing itself past my lips. Sighing, I melt into his warmth, thrilling at the feel of his arms tightening around me, holding me close to him. It’s not as tight as the ropes, but it’s real, solid, and better than anything else in the world. The creeping fear that he wouldn’t want me after last night drifts away as he devours my lips with a hunger that starts to fan my own.
I don’t even resist as he lays me back on the bed to tease my bottom hole. Instead, I concentrate on breathing through it, pushing past that discomfort to find the approval in his eyes and letting that be my anchor. The more he plays with me, the less uncomfortable I find it, and that thought sends my body flushing in mortification. Thankfully, there’s no one other than him to see my lurid fall from grace.
Well, other than Angela. As if on a cue, the door opens, and she shuffles in, standing at the back to await her orders. I force the niggle of jealousy down as I watch her stand there with perfect poise, just waiting for her master’s orders.
“Prepare the bathroom.”
“Yes, Sir.”
She gives a slight bob and heads out of the room. It’s his cold, detached voice that drives the jealousy away. Though he’s never just an inferno with me, as long as I do what I’m told, he doesn’t regard me in that cold manner. I don’t know exactly how much warmth is even inside him, but I get the feeling that he gives me as much as he’s able to.
He pulls me up and gives me a second to find stable ground before upending me over his shoulder. I squeal in shock before bursting out with laughter. Kicking my feet, I playfully pummel his back as he carries me off. Laugher rumbles in his chest, and at that moment, I decide it’s the hottest sound he can ever make - even more than his lusty growls.
As he brings me inside the bathroom, the laughter dies in my throat. The enema machine. I want to fight him on this. I want to beg and plead. Right now, it mostly causes humiliation and a horrible cramping in my lower body, but other than that, it’s nowhere near as bad as other things I’ve experienced.
“Please, Sir -.”
“No. I will not negotiate on this. You will receive your daily enema without a fuss, or trust me, I can make it much worse for you.”
That’s what I was afraid of. On top of that, his voice drops a touch, taking on that colder edge that I hate so much. I know apologizing won’t make it better. That’s not his way. Better to just accept the enema in submission than to make a fuss with an apology I don’t mean. He straps me in, and fear tingles the back of my brain. I clench as he brings the nozzle forward, worried he’ll take his displeasure out on me in this way.
“Relax, sweetie. I’m not going to punish you for asking a question.”
With a sigh, I let my body melt into the bench. That hint of warmth is back, telling me that we are as okay as we can be. The thick head prods my backside, and instead of fighting it, I let myself drift into the sensation. So much of my issues don’t matter here. When I’m with Doctor Rayne, I don’t have to worry about being judged or what my parents - or hell, even my sister - will think. All that matters is what he thinks.
“I’ll be back when you’re done.”