Psychiatrist's Puppet (Loftry University Playthings 3)

Chapter 16

Chastity

Sharp jerks startle me awake,and it’s then that I realize I fell asleep. I didn’t dream. Everything was black. There was no Doctor Rayne gathering me in his arms and whispering good girl in my ear. Then again, why would he? Billy is yanking at the cuff around my ankle, but no Doctor Rayne. I didn’t imagine it. I actually left. That constant feeling of cold creeps in around me. He’s no longer there to warm me up, to comfort me. I left. Just walked out on him. How could I do that?

My heart rate quickens as I realize I quite possibly made the wrong choice. What was I even thinking? Do I really want the security that comes with the boring and mundane? Does Billy even know how to play chess? That final thought guts me. No more afternoon games ending in passionate kisses or, if I’m lucky, ropes. No one pushing me to be better, do better.

I need to get back. I need to tell Doctor Rayne I’m sorry. In my moment of weakness, I took the easy way out instead of fighting for us, for me. I look around in the dim light at what appears to be a motel room. I could have been in my cage, nice and warm, but instead, I’m in a room that looks like it hasn’t been serviced in weeks. Nausea and bile rise up in my throat as I watch him pry and strain at the metal.

Why is he taking my jewelry? I raise my hand to stop him but pull back as his eyes find mine. Gone is the kind, loving Billy that took me to the beach and whispered promises of marriage and families. In his place is a feral demon. His eyes blaze with a hatred I never knew he had in him. Fear winds its way around my heart as I pull away.

“How do I get this thing off you?”

“I-I don’t know. I -.” His hand flies up at my face, and I don’t have time to stop it before it slams down across my cheek. Stars dance in my vision as I shake my head, trying to make sense of what is happening.

“Don’t lie to me. You have to know.”

“Please. I don’t. He put them on me. They never come off. Don’t -.” His hand comes down again, this time on the other side. Sobbing, I twist away, but he grips my shoulders, not letting me get away from him. “Why are you doing this? What did I do wrong?”

He finally lets me go and walks away from the bed, phone in hand. “Yeah. No. I can’t get them off. I could just take her hand and foot off. She wouldn’t need -. Yeah. Yeah. I got it.”

I turn to my side, just in time for dinner to come up. How could he say things like this? Like I don’t matter. Like he doesn’t care? Another heave twists my body, sending more puke onto the bed. Billy ignores all of it and starts tugging at my ankle again. Tremors rack my brain as sawing noises reach my ears. It seems like he’s working through the metal instead of my skin, and I relax just a touch.

Minutes stretch out as he works through the anklet, then turns his attention to my wrist. I keep as still as I can, willing my brain to go back to that place where nothing can touch me, but I can’t. Nothing I do will get me there. Silent sobs pound in my brain as I don’t dare move. Not even an inch. I don’t want to lose a limb because I can’t keep still.

Safe. Secure. Owned.The words flit through my brain, jagged as they force themselves through the pain and terror. Safe. Secure. Owned. Screwing my eyes shut, I concentrate on my breathing. In. Out. In. Out. The familiar haze washes over me as I breathe, only this time, it’s Doctor Rayne’s face that swims into view.

I hold onto that image, listening to his words in my mind. They keep me sane when everything else around me is falling to pieces. I can feel Billy as he moves me around, flipping me onto my stomach. The sour stench of my vomit assaults my nose, pulling me out of my happy place.

The vibrations of the saw as it cuts through the necklace seize me in place. I stop breathing for as long as I can before forcing myself to take a slow breath in. Shhhh. I’ve got you. Just breathe for me. That’s my good girl. Just breathe. More tears leak from my eyes, but I refuse to let the hysterics take over my body - not with Billy this close to my neck. Please. I promise to never leave you again. Just please find me.

Billy’s hands are rough as he pulls me onto my back. I can barely recognize him now. Whatever mask he had on has been fully ripped away to reveal the monster underneath. “Is that it? Is that all the jewelry he gave you?”

With shaky hands, I reach up to my ears so I can remove the earrings, the last bit of Doctor Rayne that I will ever own, but he swats them away to do it himself. He pinches my skin as he yanks them out. I bite down on my lower lip to keep from crying out as he tosses them to the side. He can’t know how much he’s hurting me. If he does, I’m worried he’ll make it worse.

“Anything else?” I shake my head, hoping he’ll just leave me alone now that he’s stripped me of everything I hold most dear. But he doesn’t. His hands fumble at the collar of my dress, stretching it between his hands until it starts to rip. The sound of rending fabric assaults my ears. The stretch of the dress against my skin is cutting. Soon, I’m left bare to his gaze.

His hands paw at my breast, pausing to tug at my nipples. He doesn’t seem to be doing this for pleasure. All his movements are frantic and hurried. From there, he wrenches open my legs and runs his fingers across my clit before pulling his hand back.

“What in the fuck? How are you so wet?” I scrunch my eyes, refusing to look at him through my mortification. Doctor Rayne has trained my body so well that any rough touch seems to have that reaction. “You never got this wet when we were together!” His fingertips crash down on my mound unexpectedly, ripping a sob from my throat. “Is that it? You like it rough? I can be rough for you, baby. Oh, baby. If only I knew back then what a slut you’d be. Fuck. I would have never sold you, would I?”

His fingers slam into me, and a scream lodges in my throat. Pain wracks my body as he saws in and out of me. The only blessed relief is that I’m so wet his fingers pump in and out with little resistance. Closing my eyes, I send a silent thanks for Doctor Rayne stretching me like he did. It helps but does nothing to stop the agony in my heart at his words.

I almost missed them, too consumed by physical pain to make sense of what he was saying. He knew all along where I was. He lied to Melody. I just can’t fathom why. Why would he do that? I thought we were good. Did we fight? Of course. What couple didn’t? But to sell me?

“Fuck baby. Still so tight.” He yanks down his pants and pulls out his cock. In one swift jerk, he yanks out his fingers, letting the scream finally break free. “That’s right. Scream. Tell me how much you like it.”

But I don’t. None of this is right. It’s not okay. “Please. Please don’t. Don’t rape me.” My words come out like gibberish, punctuated by sobs and hiccups. I hadn’t even let Doctor Rayne touch me there. How could Billy force himself where even my doctor refrained.

“Rape you? Do you know how many men had this cunt? And you probably got wet for all of them. Not me. Never me. Well, now you’re wet, so you must want it. Don’t you, you slut?”

He lines up his head with my opening, and I thrash out, attempting to push him away. Every hit from me results in a harder blow from him. I’m choking on my sobs as I plead with him. His phone goes off, the shrill sound piercing through. With an angry growl, he pulls away before he’s able to do anything.

Relief floods me as I close my legs and roll to the side. I can’t make out what he’s saying. My pulse is too loud in my ears. I can feel his hand grabbing me, yanking me onto my back. “Well, it’s your lucky day bitch. They want you down for processing. Seems like I won’t be able to get what’s owed to me just yet. But don’t you worry. We’ll finish what we started soon.”

From beside my head, he pulls out a syringe. I reach for it, my feeble attempts cut off with him simply kneeling on my chest, pinning my arms. The world spins as my fingers scrabble against the bed. I can’t breathe. I pull in as much as I can, but it’s barely anything. The prick of the needle slips into my arm, and quiet serenity overtakes me.