Chapter 18
Chastity
Cold.It’s always the same. Ice flows through my veins, filling my body, making me sluggish. My tormentor isn’t here this time. No. Instead, it’s Billy, his face contorted in rage as he stands above me. I lash out, desperate to make contact, but he disappears as if he’s made of smoke.
Crying out, I slam my hands against the ice around me, determined to break through. I can’t come back here. I can’t. Not after Doctor Rayne. He imprinted himself on me in such a way that I can never go back. If given the chance to see him again, I’ll never leave. I’ll take whatever punishment he deems necessary if it means I get to stay. Running my fingertips along the jagged edges, warmth starts to pulse beneath my touch. Heat races down my arms and through my body, piercing my heart.
That heat.
It’s him. I just know it’s him.
“Safe. Secure. Owned.”
The words flow around me, in me, filling me up. I pray that it’s actually him and not my brain trying to keep me safe like before. “Please. Please.”
“Open your eyes, sweetie. That’s my good girl. I need you to look at me.”
My eyelids flutter and nearly slam shut at the bright lights. Opening again, my gaze is once again captured by Doctor Rayne. It’s as if we’re back at the beginning of all those weeks ago. His warm fingers flutter down my face, drifting over the painful spots from where Billy hit me.
“Nothing’s broken. I had James look you over. He’s in the next room in case you need something.”
“Please. Please forgive me. I - I -.”
“Shhh. We don’t have to talk about that right now. You’re back in my arms. That’s all that matters.”
My stomach twists at his words. I shouldn’t have left him. Why isn’t he punishing me? I force myself to look back up at him. How is he so calm? Holding me close, he lays my head against his chest. His pulse is strong and sure, lulling me into a cocoon of safety. His chest rises and falls in a soothing rhythm, forcing my breathing to match.
I touch him all over, needing to know he’s real. This is real. He grabs my face in a gentle hold and lowers his lips to mine. Need explodes through me as he takes his time, dragging his tongue across the seam. I open, aching for him to fill me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he pulls away, regarding me with that cool, detached air of his.
Does he want me to beg? “Please?” The question is barely out of my mouth before he stands up and starts to unbutton his shirt. My mouth begins to water as arousal floods my systems at seeing his smooth expanse of skin.
“What do you want?”
“You,” I manage to whisper, choking back a sob.
“You have me. That will never change. What do you want?”
Glancing down at his pants, I see the outline of his erection against the seam of his pants. I’ve been so afraid of him hurting me. No. Harming me. He keeps drilling the difference into my head, and until this moment, it didn’t make sense. But I get it. Now, I get it. Just like Billy couldn’t stop, even when I begged, Doctor Rayne will never engage unless I ask him. He made a promise, one that he’s kept since the beginning.
“Please, Doctor. I need you to fuck me. I need to not be afraid anymore.”
He pauses, a wicked grin turning up the corner of his lips. “Now then, what did I say about vulgar language? I’ll have to punish you, you know.”
My insides flutter at his words. So what if it’s considered wrong. So what if others think I’m weird for panting at his words. All that matters is what he thinks of me. Screw everyone else. “Yes, Sir. I’m counting on it.”
His fingers go for his buckle, easing the belt out one loop at a time, torturing me with his slow movements. Crooking a finger, he motions for me to meet him down at the edge of the bed. I feel bold as I crawl towards him, watching his eyes go from cold and impassive to hot.
“On your back. Head off the edge. I’m going to fuck your mouth before I fuck your pussy. Is that understood?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“I’m not coming down your throat this time. I’m not coming until I’m buried deep inside of you. But I will punish this naughty tongue; make no mistake about that.”
Trembling with desire, I lay down and sigh as he drags his cock over my lips. He eases his hands underneath my shoulders and pulls me even further until my head is at just the right angle, mimicking the night he took my mouth while in his ropes. His hand slips through my hair as he tousles it for a moment before tightening his fingers in an unmovable grip. Pain zips from my skull and down my body, shifting to pleasure as it gets to my core.
“Open. And mind your teeth.”
I barely pull my lips back before his other hand grabs my throat, anchoring me in place. I’m unable to move as his cock slides between my lips and slams down my throat. There’s no inching forward this time. With every stroke, he claims me, shows me that I’m his. Over and over, he rocks into me, giving me just enough time to breathe before pounding back in.
My jaw aches as I hold it open for him, letting him use me, abuse me, absolve me. Each stroke makes me feel lighter than air, as if he’s pounding my wrongdoing out of my body. It could very well be the lack of oxygen, but either way, I feel freer than I have since I was a child. By the time he pulls out, I’m already a puddle on the bed. Nothing wants to move. I’m languid.
Doctor Rayne jumps onto the bed and wraps his hands around my ankles. With a smooth tug, he brings me further down, so my head is fully supported. Starting at my nipples, he runs his tongue along each stiff peak, pausing to suck one then the other before kissing down my stomach, stopping as he gets to my mound.
I can understand if he wants to torture me, prolong things until I beg again, but I hope not. I need him with a desperation I can’t even begin to explain. It’s not about the sex. It’s about coming together, finding each other again. He draws my legs apart and settles down in the space between. Each touch is gentle as he runs his fingertips over my lips before spreading me open to him.
The first swipe of his tongue has me bowing off the bed. Pleasure shoots through my body, making me want to combust. His lips curl up against me before he licks again, zeroing in on my clit. Groaning, I rock against him, not caring if we don’t even get to the sex tonight. Just feeling him pleasure me is enough.
After a few moments, his fingers slide through my lips, arousal easing his way, until he notches one at my entrance. I look down, catching his heated gaze, and I can’t turn away. Slowly, so agonizingly slowly, he inches it in. Unlike Billy, there’s no pain as he pumps in and out with shallow thrusts. I need more, crave more. Pulling out, he returns with another, stretching me as he fills me. Exquisite agony fills my body until I feel like I’m about to burst.
He trails his tongue over me again as he slides in and out. My insides tighten as my orgasm builds inside of me. Faster and faster, he plunges in and out, the sounds of his thrusting filling my ears.
“Come for me, baby,” he growls against me, his fingers pulling back out to add a third.
I scream as he slams into me, but not in pain. Not even close. I shatter as he tears me apart, breaking me open. He pulls away, giving me a moment to catch my breath before bringing the head of his cock up to my clit. I’m far too sensitive. He swipes it back and forth, the pleasure melding with pain until I can’t tell the two apart.
“Look at me.”
Dragging his cock down, he presses the head against my opening. I stare at him, watching as he pushes his way in. He’s far larger than his fingers, but I feel only pleasure. Looking at him, my mind stays present. Doctor Rayne is the one pleasuring me, not some nameless man taking his desires out on me.
Groaning, I shift my legs to give him more room, barely able to breathe as he keeps pushing forward. Everything is so tight. My core flutters around his shaft as it kicks up inside me.
“That’s my good girl. Take all of me, sweetness. That’s it.” Doctor Rayne’s face is pinched in concentration as he drags his cock back out and slides it back in even deeper. Inch by inch, he conquers me until the coarse hairs around his shaft tickle my bare skin.
His moans are pure decadence, and my core clenches as pleasure swirls through my body again. Though his thrusting starts out slow, he starts to quicken as his release starts to near. Grabbing my hip, he pounds into me, the hard thrusts rocketing me towards another orgasm. Reaching down in between our bodies, his fingers find my clit, and he pinches - hard.
The mix of pain with his pleasure tears through me, pulling everything taut. My orgasm slams into me, stealing my breath. I can’t even breathe as he keeps thrusting, dragging the pleasure out until I’m just a babbling mess. His cock swells inside me as he finally comes. Keeping his weight on his elbows, he lays down on top of me, riding out his orgasm as his tongue dives into my mouth, mimicking his actions below.
We stay like that, wrapped up in each other long after he’s gone soft. He doesn’t seem to care about the mess on the sheets, and so I force my brain to focus on the feel of his skin against mine. Eventually, he pulls away from me and scoops me in his arms to take me to the bathroom. He sets me on the toilet while he runs a bath for us both. Neither of us says anything as we lay in the hot water together. We don’t have to.
His arms wrap around me as he drops soft kisses to my head, ears, and shoulders. My heart swells at every touch. For the first time, I feel like I’m home. He’s home. I lay my head back on his chest, letting the motion of his breathing rock me. Safe. Secure. Owned.
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