“That’s exactly what I said because I know you’re going to do the right thing. You’re going to be my good girl. Aren’t you?” She doesn’t respond. Grinning, I up the stakes a little. “My father owns Malum, you know. All it would take is one little phone call.”
“You’re a monster.” Her whisper is barely audible, but I hear it.
Clenching my fingers around the steering wheel, I force the echoing thoughts out of my brain. What’s been done is done, and I can’t take back anything I’ve said. She’ll have to call my bluff. Either marry me or go back to Malum. Just the idea of sending her away hurts so badly that I can barely breathe.
It wasn’t supposed to go this far. Things are just completely out of hand. “Please, Shelaine,” I plead, not caring at all if I sound like a whiny bitch at this moment. “I need you. I-. I-.” The words escape me as I stare at the reflection of her teary eyes.
I’ve never been eloquent. Nothing I’ve ever said made a fucking difference, so why try crafting new ways to say it? But now, here I am, facing off with the only person I give a damn about, and I’m stuttering like a goddamn teenager asking to touch a boob for the first time.
“You need me so much that you’re willing to send me to Malum?” She counters, her eyebrow raising.
“Yes.”
Her lower lip quivers, and I pull my gaze away. It hurts. Seeing her like this fucking hurts. But I can’t see any other way. It’s either be my bride, or I let go of her now. She’s the one thing in my life that was pure, untainted.
Yes, she was at Malum, but even then, somehow, her mind remained sane, untouched by the horrors of that palace. Despite her being sold as escaping, her mind didn’t fracture. It remained just as pristine as her body. It’s as if she was being saved for me.
And what do I do? I fuck it up. Just like everything in my life. Any bit of good that came my way, I ended up ruining it. It’s what I am. It’s what I do. Just like Ryker pounded into my body and brain - I’m a fuck up.
I can’t see any way out of this. It’s either force her to be mine, or I will cease to exist. A world that does not contain Shelaine is a world not worth living in. She’s the thing that bridges the gap between my sanity and true, depraved madness. It’s her that keeps me wanting to live.
Before her, I existed. I made do. I chose to not die. But now that she’s mine, I’m choosing to live. And I can’t let anything take those elated feelings away - not even her. The threat of putting her back in Malum is just that. A threat. I’d kill her before letting another man touch her. I just pray that she won’t call my bluff. To kill her would be to kill myself.