Her Frozen Cry (Detective Amanda Steele)

Amanda got up and turned on a projector that cast stars onto the ceiling, shut off the overhead light, and slipped from the room. She left the door open a crack.

She grabbed a glass of water before returning to the couch with Becky, who’d refilled her wineglass while Amanda was gone. Her friend’s cheeks were flushed in the glow coming from the TV screen. Becky was quick about putting her phone away and exchanging it for her wine. “While you were gone I was just thinking, why don’t you ever go out anymore? Why don’t we? You could have Ava sit Zoe, and we could—”

“Shit.”

“Something I said?”

“Something I forgot.” She hadn’t called her niece to line up babysitting for tomorrow. “Becky, could I ask you for a favor?”

“On one condition.”

“You haven’t heard what the favor is.”

“Doesn’t really matter. One condition.”

“Which is…?” Amanda would probably be sorry she’d asked. When Becky dipped into the wine, it was often hard to predict what she might say.

“You will get a sitter for Zoe and go out with me. We—well, you—will pick up some hot guy and hook up.”

Becky was already seeing someone. Brandon Fisher, a special agent with the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. He was growing on Amanda, but she was keeping a close eye on him. Chalk it up to being protective of her friend.

“Nope. I’m not interested in hooking up.”

“Think of it as adult fun.”

What Becky didn’t realize was that Amanda had had enough fun to last a lifetime. When she was broken over the loss of her family, one-night stands became a weekly occurrence. In fact, it was the only way she cared to connect with a man—sexual gratification. No exchange of names, addresses, occupations. Best of all, no emotional attachment. She’d clung to it as the perfect elixir for her shattered heart for several years. That was until she discovered it was just a cruel lie she told herself. The toll it actually demanded from her soul wasn’t worth it. “Yeah, not really my thing.”

“Sex isn’t your thing?”

“Who has the time?”

“Seriously? Come on.”

“Sleeping around is one surefire way to catch an STD.”

“Oh my word. Being a cop’s making you dark.”

There was no denying that, but it was also all that Amanda knew. She was fine blaming the job. “Possibly.”

Becky took a sip of her wine. “Even if you don’t hook up,what about dating again? You had a nice little thing going with Logan for a while.”

Another secret Becky wasn’t privy to was that Logan had been a one-night stand that broke all the rules and bloomed into a relationship. He was also the last one-night stand Amanda had—and the last she ever intended to have. “All good things come to an end.”

“Wow. Again, very dark.”

“Realistic.” Logan couldn’t handle the risks inherent with Amanda’s job. Besides, Zoe was her priority. She did think about him sometimes, though. They did have a nice little thing—for the time it had lasted. And she didn’t regret it. The relationship gave her a taste of something real and tangible again.

“You have to get lonely sometimes.”

Amanda felt her cheeks heat at the thought of Tony, at the thought of Trent even. Gah! “When the hell would I have time to date anyone? Please, tell me.”

“You make time for what’s important.”

“We’re different people,” Amanda said.

“How do you figure?” Becky turned her back to the arm of the couch, fully facing Amanda.

How to put it exactly… “I don’t need a guy in my life.”

“Hey now, that’s a low blow.” The words came off as an insult to Becky, something Amanda hadn’t intended, but thankfully her friend was grinning. “You’re right. I rather like being involved. Friends with benefits.” She laughed loudly, and Amanda shushed her. Becky went on. “You’re a great mom, and what you’ve done for Zoe is incredible. Just don’t lose yourself.”

The sincerity in Becky’s tone had Amanda’s chest tightening. Until this moment, Amanda hadn’t realized how much she’d been functioning in mission mode. Like a train on rails—one set of tracks for work, another when she got home.

“You know I’m right…” Becky lowered her head to meet Amanda’s gaze, which had drifted to the couch cushions.

“Maybe.”

“All right, so you’ll start dating? You said you didn’t want to hook up…”

“I’ll go out with you for a girls’ night, but no promises on the guy front.”

Becky bit her bottom lip and eventually nodded. “I’ll take it.”

“And in exchange you’ll watch Zoe tomorrow so I can work.”

“Do you ever take a full weekend off?”

“I had last weekend off.”

“Huh. And you never even called me. We could have gone out and had some fun.”

“Becky,” Amanda said, trying to steer her friend back. She could tell from Becky’s grin that her mind was still on Amanda hooking up with a guy.

“Fine.” Becky held up her hands in surrender. “I’ll drop it for now.”

“Good.” Silence lasted for two seconds, then Amanda blurted out, “I’ve been reconnected with Tony Bishop.”

“What? You—”

Amanda put a finger to her lips. “Just keep it down some.”

“Sorry.” She was speaking in a near whisper now. “Tony? You reconnected?”

“Maybe that’s too strong a word.”

“You guys were always just like… well, ships passing in the night.”

Amanda bobbed her head side to side.

“Honestly, I thought you and Tony might have ended up together. That is, before Kevin turned out to be the one.”

“So did I.” Amanda’s gaze flitted to Becky’s wine. For the first time in seven years, she had a craving. She hadn’t even sipped a single alcoholic beverage since the drunk driver had taken out Kevin and Lindsey.

“Tell me all about it. Your reconnection.”