What the hell does that mean? Would you take this duct tape off me? I have so many questions.
“Hmmm. You look more confused.” He sat up and lay the scalpel on my stomach. “Perhaps, I should explain this further with a visual.”
I’m down as long as you’re not cutting. . .
He put his hands on the bottom of his black shirt. To my shock, he began pulling it up.
What the. . .
Then, I understood as he lifted the shirt up to his neck and completely took the shirt off.
I froze in horror.
Ummm. . .
Apparently, I hadn’t been the only person cutting themselves in these past weeks. Cain had taken a sharp knife and written my name over his chest. The heavy thick scars formed the words, PHOENIX. And they were large. Each letter was at least four inches.
I didn’t know how to react. All I could do was widen my eyes in shock.
He dropped the shirt. “Now do you understand?”
No! I need more explanation! Lots and lots of explanation!
“I’m yours.” He picked up the scalpel from my stomach. “And you are mine.”
As he brought the tip to the c-shaped scar, the realization hit me.
Oh wait!
I tried to squirm away.
No. No. Don’t do that.
He pinned my arm down. “Don’t move, Phoenix.”
How the hell am I not supposed to move?!
I tried to yell that at him, moving my lips and pushing against the tape.
He looked at me. “Phoenix.”
I stopped.
“A scalpel cut doesn’t hurt or sting at first, not like a knife.” He tilted his head to the side. “Do you know why?”
I slowly shook my head.
“A scalpel is very sharp and slices the skin very easily.” He put the scalpel in front of my face. “A knife is dull by comparison to a scalpel. Therefore, the knife’s blade does a lot more damage as it rips through the skin.”
I calmed my breathing.
“With the naked eye, the knife and scalpel both look similar in sharpness but on the microscopic level the duller knife is doing a lot more damage.”
I wished he would take the tape off. I wanted to make a point about how a pen and marker would leave a better impression. There was no need to cut anything into my body.
In fact, I was even down to rush to a tattoo parlor. Surely, one might be open this late in the night.
“The scalpel is sharp enough to cut through many layers of skin very quickly. So fast, it severs the nerve endings before they can react.” He placed the tip of the scalpel on the right side of my c-shaped scar. “A kitchen knife is dull enough to trigger the nerve endings as it tears through the skin layers, bringing unrelentless pain.”
None of the information calmed me. My brain raced and it felt like my head was going to explode. I told myself that everything was going to be fine, but it didn’t make me feel any better. All I could think about was that the scalpel was sharp and against my skin and that he was crazy as fuck.
As if knowing what was going on in my head, he continued, “Pain from a cut comes from various sources.”
I slowly breathed in and out through my nose, trying to still my nerves.
Okay. . .
“Close your eyes, Phoenix.”
Shaking my head, I whimpered.
“Do it.”
Shivering, I shut my eyes tight. Darkness served as my only view.
“Just under the surface of your skin there are sensors that detect pressure, temperature, and damage. Pain is a response to those being triggered.”
I could feel a pinprick on my flesh and then a cold sensation washing over that area. I fisted my hands.
Is it happening?
I felt something, but wasn’t sure.
“A needle coming out of the skin hurts less than one going into the skin.” He moved the scalpel. Perhaps, he even cut through me.
All I knew was that I felt this wetness on my collarbone and an odd, aching warmth.
“A very clean cut doesn’t cause much pressure on the skin, so it may not trigger the stronger pain response that is reserved for things puncturing.”
More wetness and warmth came. The faint scent of blood filled my nostrils. Then, an unbearable ache hit me.
Unable to help myself, I opened my eyes and looked down. All I could make out was blood dripping from different sides.
Oh God!
I made out a new A-shaped cut next to the C.
What is wrong with him?!
He began to draw the I. “One of the ways the sensors work is by detecting stretching.”
Oh my God!
“With a very sharp blade there is no stretching of the surrounding tissue, so the body doesn’t notice the damage as much.”
Gritting my teeth, I shut my eyes.
It’s not that painful. It’s crazy. Fucked. Wrong. Insane. But, it’s not that bad.
The ache burned, spread out, and swelled on my skin.
I opened my eyes and gazed down.