He shifted so he was facing her. “Don’t get me wrong—the man in me would love nothing better than to take you here and now. Your submissive grace during your very first exposure to D/s is breathtaking. It makes me want you all the more. But the Dom in me would be irresponsible to claim you when you’re still caught in the throes of the experience.”
He tried to think how to explain it better to someone not familiar with the scene. “It’s almost like getting a girl drunk on purpose so she’s more pliable. Even if she thinks she wants it, too, it’s just not”—he groped for the word—“gentlemanly.”
The hurt in her eyes was like a knife, poking holes in his resolve. Was he crazy not to take what this lovely girl was offering?
The tiny devil on his shoulder whispered, Who cares if she’s sub or vanilla? So what if she isn’t ready yet? She’s a beautiful, naked, willing woman. She wants it. You want it. Take what you’ve earned.
Hayden continued to teeter precariously on that razor’s edge of a Dom’s responsibility versus pure, raw desire. One push from her and he’d tumble down. God, how he longed to show her, then and there, the power and passion of a true D/s experience. Even just to take her in his arms once more—to run his fingers down her slender neck, to cup her sweet breasts, to roll her rosy nipples until they stiffened between his fingers and then to twist…
Stop it, Pierce. Get a fucking grip.
He drew in a deep breath as he again wrestled himself back under control. Lifting a metaphorical hand, he brushed the devil away.
To his relief, the pained confusion had left Dahlia’s eyes. She flopped back against the sofa cushions, grabbing a pillow as she did so and hugging it to her body. “I get it,” she said slowly. “It’s sort of the flipside to my own policy, which is never to have sex with a guy on a first date, no matter how intense the connection feels. I’ve learned from experience that once that new-person-excitement vibe has worn off, as often as not you end up wondering who the hell it is in your bed, and why you ever thought you wanted him there.”
“Ouch,” Hayden said with a pained grin.
“Oh, not you,” she said hurriedly. “I’m just saying I get it. Once I come down from this crazy high, I might end up regretting it if we move too fast.”
“Exactly,” Hayden agreed, relieved she understood. If she’d pressed any more, even the tiniest bit, he wasn’t sure he could have resisted.
He got to his feet. “It’s late, and the end of a long week. I’m actually on call tomorrow, so no telling what my schedule will be. Meanwhile, I should let you get some rest and take a little time to process the experience. Before I go, can I get you another glass of wine? A cup of tea?”
Dahlia frowned, her lower lip actually protruding slightly in an adorable pout. “Are you sure you can’t stay?”
“I’m sure,” he said emphatically.
“Okay, okay. You’re probably right, anyway. This is definitely the more sensible choice.” She slipped her sweater over her head, its drape over her breasts nearly undoing him once more. She, too, rose from the couch and then yawned suddenly, as if it had caught her before she could stop it.
“Oh, wow,” she said with a small, tinkling laugh. “I guess I’m more wiped out than I realized.” She flashed a dazzling smile. “Thanks for a truly eye-opening experience. I can honestly say this is the most unique first date I’ve ever had.”
Hayden laughed. “I have to agree. But seriously, thank you for trusting not only me with this, but yourself. I admire your courage.”
She grinned. “I do feel pretty kick-butt awesome at the moment.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Now, get out of here before I change my mind and throw you down, cavewoman style.”
Hayden chuckled. “That’ll never happen, little girl,” he growled playfully. “If anyone does any throwing down, it’ll be me.”
“Only if I let you,” she retorted.
“Precisely,” he agreed. “Consent is the name of the game in D/s. Always.”
He allowed her to lead him to the door. Resisting the urge to take her into his arms once more, he instead planted a kiss on the top of her head, said good night, and stepped out into the corridor.
As the door closed softly behind him, he allowed himself a sigh, part regret that he hadn’t let things go further, part relief that he’d managed not to.
~*~
After Hayden left, Dahlia sank back to the couch, legs sprawled, head back against the cushions. That was, without exception, the weirdest, and the most exciting, erotic experience of her life. She still couldn’t quite believe she’d gone through with it. Nor was she entirely sure how she felt about it. What was wrong with her, that she had gotten off on standing naked with her hands on her head like some kind of suspect, while a guy sat there listening to her share a sexual fantasy she’d never admitted to another soul?