The drive to Jessup is only about thirty minutes. I drive around the town that’s much larger than the one I live in and see the sights. I’m starving, so I pull into the local steakhouse and tell the hostess it’s just me and that I’m happy to eat at the bar. I scroll through social media and even take a picture of the napkin with the restaurant’s name and send it to my sister. I’m only making this worse, but I can’t seem to stop myself. This is the last time. I’ll tell her we didn’t connect and get my shit together. I can’t avoid my real life forever.
I enjoy my parmesan grilled chicken and sweet tea. I linger at the bar much longer than necessary and even find myself eating slower just to kill some time. Cashing out my bill, I leave the sweet bartender a nice big tip for not making me feel like a loser for eating all alone on a Saturday night.
I drive around town some more, just taking some time. I stop at Target and spend too much time and too much money on things that I don’t need before finally deeming it an acceptable time to head home. It wasn’t a bad night. I was able to get lost in my thoughts without the concerned eyes of my sister and our friends. I got some good deals at Target and had a nice dinner.
I needed tonight. I needed the time to just be me and let everything that happened sink in. Yes, I’ve had all week, but the majority of that time was spent at the salon with my twin, who, let me remind you, is more perceptive than her own good. Although, I’m the same way when it comes to her. It’s the twin thing, and to be honest, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love my sister and how close we are. She’s all that I have left. A wave of sadness washes over me. I hoped I would have Hudson one day too, but with each passing day, as I think about that night and not answering him the following day, I don’t know how he couldn’t hate me.
I have a year before I find the answer to that question. I’ve decided not to write him about it. Instead, I’m going to let the cards fall where they may when he comes home and then see what road I need to travel. Either we’re the start of something great, or I’ll mourn his loss when he’s living in the same town.
Only time will tell.
CHAPTER 10
Hudson
The days are long with the hot sun beating down on us, but the results are more rewarding than I ever could have imagined. Teaching something that I do on a daily basis is second nature to me. Farming is all I’ve ever known. We’re building homes, too, if you can call them that. They’re what most would call sheds back home.
The nights are even longer. I stare at the ceiling of the small shack that Clayton and I are sharing and think about Riley. We’ve been here for a month, and she’s still all I can think about. There’s a letter lying next to me on the bed that I’ve yet to open. It’s from Raven, postmarked three weeks ago. I got it today, but I wanted to read it alone. So here I am with the light of a small flashlight, tearing open the envelope to read the words from my best friend, hoping like hell there’s an update somewhere in her words about her sister.
Hudson,
One week. That’s how long the two of you have been gone, and I miss you both like crazy. How is Clay? Make sure the two of you are watching out for each other. I hope things are going well for both of you.
All is good here at home. Our group got together tonight, well, all of us but Riley. She had a date with some guy she met in Jessup. Anyway, it wasn’t the same without you and Clay sitting with us at our normal table at The Pour House.
I’m sending a care package with some snacks, but sending this letter on its own. They’re both shipping the same day. I’m curious to see which one reaches you first.
Anyway, I miss you, my friend.
Raven
A date.
Riley.
I read the letter two more times just to make sure I read it correctly. It’s a possibility I got it all wrong with the way my pulse is pounding in my ears. She went on a date. With a man who’s not me.
Fuck!
I want to punch something or, better yet, someone. And Riley, how could she go on a date so soon after our night together? I knew leaving was a risk, but never in my wildest dreams did I think she’d be dating a week later. Hell, it’s been a good year or more since she’s been on a date. Trust me, I know. I watch her. I want to scream and yell and tear this fucking shack apart, but I can’t. Clayton is sleeping, and if I go off on a rage, he’s going to want to know why and then I’ll have to tell him the truth.