“I’m not sure that’s such a bad thing,” he says.
“How so?”
“Those words are real, Hudson. That’s you unfiltered. I think you and I are a lot alike when it comes to the Burke twins. We’re afraid of losing them in our lives, so we hold back. Maybe that’s what we’ve been doing wrong. Maybe we need to show them we’re not backing down. Maybe we need to show them they’re worth fighting for.”
“Did you read my journal?” I ask with a laugh. “You’re in my head, man. That’s exactly what I’m thinking and what I’ve been telling her in my journal. You’re right. I was afraid to lose her and Raven too. Losing my girl and my best friend doesn’t sound like a good time.”
“One of your best friends,” he corrects.
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah,” he says, amusement in his voice. “So what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m going to get the girl.”
“You sound awful sure of yourself.”
“I am.”
“And what if Raven is pissed?”
“Are you asking as a concerned friend, or are you asking because you’re in love with her?”
“Both.”
“Fair enough.” I pause to gather my thoughts. “Raven and I have been close since the day we met in kindergarten. She’s important to me.”
“What does that mean?”
“I love Raven like a sister. Riley… she’s here.” I tap my chest with my fist. “Love doesn’t seem strong enough.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, Raven will just have to learn to deal.”
“And if she can’t?”
“It’s not going to stop me from showing and trying to prove to Riley that she’s it for me.”
“That’s a pretty big declaration, Fleming,” he says, his voice hard.
“Yeah, it is,” I agree. I’ve had hours and hours of lying awake to think about this, and I love Raven, I do. She’s a sister to me. Riley, on the other hand, owns me. I can’t imagine a day moving forward when we’re not together. Raven is her sister, and I’ll still see her, and I hope that if she’s not on board with the idea, she will be eventually.
“You’re just going to drop Raven?” he asks. There’s an edge of anger in his voice.
“No. She’s her sister. I’ll still see her once she realizes that this is real. Once she sees that I love her sister more than anyone else ever could, she’ll come around.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“Then I guess I’ll be at odds with my sister-in-law.”
“Sister-in-law?” He whistles.
“I’m all in.”
He’s quiet for a few minutes. “I hope it works out for you.”
“It will,” I say with more confidence than I feel. I have nine months to devise a plan. So far, all I’ve been able to come up with is declaring my love for her and continuing to show up. All I can do is be me. The me who’s loved her from afar for far too long. I need to show her what it’s like to love her up close. I need to show her what it’s like to be the center of my world.
CHAPTER 13
Riley
Twenty weeks. Today, I’m officially halfway through this pregnancy. The app I downloaded tells me that peanut is the size of a bell pepper. I’m way past covering the fact that I’m expecting. Shortly after my third month, I woke up one day, and there was my baby belly. It was tough telling my friends, and when they asked about the father, I just told them he wasn’t in the picture, and I was doing this on my own.
I didn’t want to lie to them, but by that point, I had sent Hudson a letter with no reply. I know that mail can take forever, but it had been weeks. After I took a positive pregnancy test at home, I made an appointment, and they got me in that week. Two days later, I wrote him a letter. I apologized for my actions, for running out on him, and for telling him via a letter, but I thought he deserved to know. I told him that I didn’t need anything from him and that I could do this on my own. I told him that I was prepared to do this on my own, but again, he was the father, and it was his right to know he was going to be a daddy in a few months.
That was fourteen weeks ago, and still nothing. No reply whatsoever from Hudson. I know that Raven has received letters from him, and so have some of the others. I know his mom has as well. She was in the salon yesterday talking about how she misses him, but the way he talks about the work he’s doing makes her proud. Janice and Rick Fleming are the kind of parents who are proud of you for closing the front door when you enter the house. They love their son unconditionally, and I vow to love my son or daughter the same way. Even if this baby’s father doesn’t. My chest physically hurts at the mere thought of Hudson rejecting this baby. Me, I get it. But his flesh and blood?