“We are a family. Even if it weren’t my blood running through his veins, we would be a family. I love you, Riley Burke.”
“His name is Hayes David Burke. He’s my son.”
“He’s our son, and we’ll be changing his last name and yours.” Her eyes soften, and I keep going. “I love you. I want this with you. I want the three of us to do this.”
“No one knows,” she says softly. “I didn’t tell them.”
“I know.”
“I’ve made a mess of this.”
“This isn’t all on you. And mistakes happen. We’re going to fix it. I’m going to tell our friends and family he’s mine.” I pause, waiting for her to look at me. “I’m going to tell them that you’re mine too.”
“This is too much. I-I can’t even process this right now. I’m exhausted.”
“Hayes, tell Mommy that you want to hang out with Daddy for a while.” Is it possible for your heart to smile? It sure feels as though mine is. I take a minute to gather my composure.
I’m a daddy.
“I’ve got him, Riley. Go rest.”
“He’s going to be hungry…,” she tries.
“Then I’ll make him a bottle. I’ve been reading articles online. I wanted him before I knew he was mine, Riles. Now that I know he is… Fuck, baby. I can’t tell you” I shake my head. “I never thought I could ever love anyone the way that I love you. I knew that I would love him because he was a part of you, but fuck, Riles, he’s a part of me too. That’s something I never imagined, and my heart feels bigger than my body.”
A tear slides over her cheek. “I don’t know what to think. I just… I need some time.”
“I’ll give you some time. But, Riley, I won’t stop fighting for my family. You and Hayes are my family.”
She stands from her spot on the couch and tosses the pillow to the side. “Wake me if you need me?”
“I promise.”
She walks to where I’m sitting and bends to kiss our son on the head. “Mommy loves you,” she whispers.
I gently grab her wrist before she can move away. “I love you both. So much.” She closes her eyes, and I let her go. I know I’m piling all of this on her, and I knew it was going to be a fight. A fight I refuse to lose.
CHAPTER 21
Riley
I’ve been in bed for well over an hour. I’ve tried closing my eyes, but sleep just won’t come. I have so much in my head, I don’t know where to start trying to sift through the rubble from the storm that Hudson just dropped on my lap.
He never got my letters.
He loves us.
He asked me to marry him.
That’s the shocker. No matter how bad I wanted to scream “yes” at the top of my lungs and throw myself into his arms, I just couldn’t do it. I don’t want him to marry me out of obligation to our son. If he wants to be in his life, I welcome that. I want my son to have a mommy and daddy in his life, but marriage for the sake of that isn’t something that we need to do.
The bigger issue is me coming clean first with my sister, our friends, and Hudson’s parents. I have to tell them all that I lied. My gut churns at the thought, but it’s all on me. I knew this day would come, yet I still let the lies fall freely from my lips. At the time, it was better than tossing Hudson under the bus.
Expelling a deep breath, I climb out of bed and head to the shower. The hot water feels amazing as it washes over me. It does nothing to alleviate the tension in my shoulders. The stress of this day weighs heavily on me.
The shower curtain pulls back, and I yelp. Hudson is standing there, his heated gaze washing over me. “Don’t,” I warn him.
“Don’t what? Stare at the gorgeous body of the mother of my child? The woman who owns my heart? Afraid I can’t do that, Riles.”
“I’m not the same,” I whisper.
“What are you talking about? You’re perfect.”
“I have stretch marks, and things are not exactly where they used to be.”
He ignores me and begins to strip. “That might be what you see, Riles, but that’s not at all what I see. I see the body of the woman who I love. I see the body of the mother of my son. I see the woman who owns my heart and soul. You’re beautiful, Riley. There is nothing that will ever change that fact in my eyes.” He’s now fully naked, with his hard length in his hand.
“I can’t” I start, but he steps into the shower, stopping whatever I was going to say. I suddenly can’t remember.