“I didn’t.” She flicks her hair over her shoulder. “All my physical needs were taken care of. I know, I know, Achilles, poor little rich girl, but…”
He looks a little guilty. “But Zeus.”
“Yeah, but Zeus.” She sighs and pushes her plate away. She’s eaten half the omelet and a few bites of fruit, which isn’t enough, but I don’t want to press her right now, not when she’s lowering her walls just a few inches, letting us see part of her she’s kept back until now. “He killed my mom. I know that’s the rumor and everyone kind of takes it as something like an urban legend, but it’s the truth. They were fighting and he shoved her down the stairs. She snapped her neck.”
Achilles tenses and looks to me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that. Saying “I’m sorry” sounds like the biggest bullshit. I’m still waffling over responses when Helen continues.
“I don’t say that so you’ll feel sorry for me. It’s just one of the many sins to lay at my father’s feet. He was a monster, and he raised me, which makes me at least a little bit monstrous.” She finally lifts her gaze, and the determination shining from her face is staggering. “So, yeah, I am a spoiled princess, but that’s not all I am. I survived him. I’ll survive whatever my siblings are planning, too. Maybe there was a time when I might have gone along with their plans, at least in part, in order to keep the peace, but that’s not who I am anymore. I deserve to be more than a prize.”
My chest twinges with a strength I’m not prepared for. “Helen…”
“I need a little space. I’m going to try to take a nap.” She pushes up from the table and walks down the hall to the bedroom. The door closing sounds unnaturally loud in the suite.
I turn to Achilles and sigh. “This is a mess.”
“She’ll get over her disappointment once this all shakes out.” He’s frowning, though, and he pushes his plate away without finishing the food he’d been working his way through. “It might take time to earn her forgiveness, but we will.” He doesn’t sound as confident as normal. “She has to forgive us.”
I don’t think Helen has to do a single thing, up to and including forgive us. Not for this. It makes me a little sick to my stomach. Obviously, everyone who knew Zeus’s reputation knew that he wasn’t a good guy. Three dead wives, more than a handful of whispered allegations of assault, and a son he ran out of town when he wouldn’t fall in line. It all adds up to an unsavory picture. I don’t know how I didn’t consider what it would be like growing up in that household. If I remember correctly, Helen’s mother died when she was a teenager. Her stepmom didn’t last more than a handful of years after Zeus remarried.
My skin prickles. “What if this breaks her?”
“Breaks her?” Achilles shakes his head. “Have you met the woman? She’s too strong, too fucking stubborn. She might doubt herself sometimes, but like she said, she’s a survivor. It will take more than a little disappointment to break her.”
I want to believe that. I do. But people are more than just a problem to be solved. Emotions often have nothing to do with logic. If they did, we wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with. “I hope so.”
Achilles flinches, the tiniest reaction. He slumps back in his chair. “I don’t want to break her, but I…”
“You’ve wanted this for a long time.” His reasons for striving to claim the Ares title are just as valid as Helen’s, just as rooted in past pain and uncertainty. He’s no longer the powerless child who grew up in one of Hera’s orphanages and was palmed off to be a soldier for Ares. It’s completely understandable that he’s seeking to cement his place of power and ambition. Failing to claim it probably won’t break him, either, but Achilles has never suffered a true setback once he’s decided on an outcome. I don’t know how losing would affect him. “I don’t know what the answer is.”
“That’s a first.” He gives a tired smile and pushes to his feet. Achilles claps me on the shoulder. “Let’s clean this up, toss a snack for Helen into the mini fridge in case she gets hungry later, and do some restorative yoga. You’re doing a shitty job of covering up how stiff you are, and it will probably help.” He gives a tight smile. “Whatever comes, we’ll figure it out.”
“No matter what?” It’s a child’s plea, with no basis in logic, but I can’t help making it all the same. I want them both happy. I want this not to be the end. Foolish. So fucking foolish.