Bastien mulled that over. Kieran had said that just because his love had been removed didn’t mean it couldn’t be rebuilt. He supposed that was true, but it seemed impossible. Bastien had known Thalia since she was a child. They were the closest of friends before they became lovers but building blocks along the way had forged their bond. Those building blocks were still meaningful to Thalia, but they weren’t to Bastien. It’s not fair to her for him to attempt something that would be so one-sided. She’d get hurt all over again.
“You should give it a go,” Kieran said, and Bastien’s eyes met his. “You owe it to yourself.”
“That makes no sense,” Bastien mumbled.
“You don’t remember your feelings for her… what it was like when you were with Thalia. You walked on air, brother. You should want that again.”
Shaking his head in regrettable denial, Bastien shot the notion down in a roundabout way. “We’re at war, Kieran. Lives are at stake. Hard work has to be done. There is no time to try to regain something you say I should miss, but I just don’t. It’s a waste of my time, and I’m completely fine with the way things are.”
Kieran frowned as he studied his brother. He stood from the table. “If you’re so fine, why are you here getting drunk?”
Bastien didn’t reply, merely took the bottle and refilled his glass. Kieran turned on his heel and left his brother behind.
Settling back into his chair, Bastien continued to ponder Kieran’s advice, even though he’d drawn his line in the sand.
His brother was a romantic, nothing more.
Bastien was not.
Even if he were, resurrecting his relationship with Thalia was the last thing he’d try to do. While his emotions regarding her were almost completely dead, he could still vividly recall what that emptiness had felt like when she left.
And he was never going to risk that pain again.
CHAPTER 13
Thalia
The next week goes by quickly. I meet with Bastien and the Conclave in the great hall every day. Most days, it seems like futile brainstorming, but some things are churning. Bastien sent Kieran to all the royal families still pledged to us, inviting their Conclaves to Clairmont for a large summit. We hope that by putting all these magical minds together, with their deep knowledge of history, we’ll figure out a way to defeat Ferelith’s blood magic.
In addition to orders to bring the Conclaves together for a long summit, Kieran was also instructed to talk to the heads of the royal families to gauge the temperature, so to speak, on the idea of coalescing our respective forces to retake Kestevayne. As it stands right now, each family is entrenched behind their city walls, merely praying Ferelith doesn’t come for them. It’s not a good existence, but it’s a safe one, for now.
Kieran was due back late last night, and I expect he’ll have a report for us at this morning’s meeting.
I leave the cottage with my breakfast in hand, a delicious blackberry muffin that Sam’s adoptive mother brought over last night, along with some other baked goods. She’s married to one of the town’s farriers, and they took Sam in after his mother was killed. His father died a few years prior in the war.
I went over the day after I’d arrived in Clairmont to introduce myself. Hanna and Frederick were a sweet couple who had always wanted children of their own but were never able to conceive. They took in little Sam without hesitation and have provided a nurturing environment for him. But he’s withdrawn, and I’m having a hard time breaking through to him.
I’m disappointed he’s not sitting on his stoop reading as he sometimes is when I leave in the morning. I’m playing it cool right now with him, usually offering a wave and a smile.
With Bastien staying in the dorms, guards are always posted at the house. They escort me about town, although they walk a good twenty paces back. It’s not thought that I’m in any danger under the spelled cloak covering Clairmont, but Bastien’s orders are not to be trifled with, so the guards are here to stay.
Over the past week, when not in meetings at Conclave Hall, I’ve been making my rounds to visit shop owners, citizens, and soldiers.
I’m trying my best to meet every family. I walk up and down the streets, knocking on doors with my four guards always at a respectable distance. Some folks I know, while it’s my first time meeting others. But at the end of every visit, I give each family member a warm hug and a promise that I’ll fight for their freedom. These meetings fuel my desire to defeat Ferelith while concurrently combating some of my frustrations.
Laina told me one day that these visits are greatly improving the spirits of the people, and I don’t know if that’s true. I only know that I’m their leader, and I need to do my very best to give them hope.