“I don’t care what Amell says,” I snap. “He’s evil. What does he know, anyway?”
“I can’t stand the bastard,” Bastien grouses. “But I think we both know he’s not evil. At least not where you’re concerned. He cares for you, and he has an unbiased eye.”
My heart hurts… for Bastien.
For me.
I glance around at the beautiful little world I created with my magic and try to pull back the connection we just shared. I wasn’t imagining it, and throughout that entire encounter, Bastien was right there with me.
And now he’s fading again, pulling away because he’s too afraid to take the chance on us.
I bend over him, press my lips to his. When I lift, I say, “I do love you. As much as I ever have. I want you to stay. I want you to build a life with me. I want us to have all the things we wanted together. But I’m done trying to convince you we can have something again. I shouldn’t have to convince you of the truth of what we are. At this point, I think you might be right. I’m not sure you really have the capacity to love me the way I need.”
Bastien stares at me, his expression unreadable. I smile sadly before envisioning my bedroom in my cottage back in Clairmont, and I bend distance there, leaving Bastien behind in the field.
It’s time to get back to work on winning my country’s freedom, and then move forward with my life.
CHAPTER 28
Thalia
“This looks delicious,” Heph says as I set a platter on the table. On it are three roasted quails along with carrots and potatoes. I also made a garden salad with a fresh herb dressing and a loaf of nut bread with butter.
Amell reaches for the bread while I take a seat. “Again, I’ll extend the invitation to come live with me in the Underworld. I wish I ate this good there.”
Heph’s hand freezes as he reaches for a quail. “What do you eat there?”
Amell shrugs. “Mostly the souls of the dead, but they’re filling enough, I guess.”
Mouth hanging open, Heph stares at Amell in horror. He then brings his gaze to me. “You are in no way moving to the Underworld to cook for your father, but you must at least summon him to dinner each evening.”
Amell and I laugh because of course he’s teasing Heph. I mean, I don’t know what they eat down there, but I’ll add that to the million questions I’m working my way through in the evenings to learn more about my father’s life.
Realizing that Amell was teasing, Heph laughs too, and I sigh with contentment. This is my family now, and while it’s about as imperfect and odd as a family could be, I’m grateful to have it. I’m also grateful that Heph and Amell get along so well. It’s made the last couple weeks more than bearable.
Especially since the one person I truly want to be a part of my family doesn’t want the same. Since our last time together, almost a week ago, I haven’t seen Bastien. I bent distance back to my bedroom where I took a hot shower and cried out my grief after deciding to cut him loose rather than leave it to him to struggle with.
When I came out of my room, Amell was there and looked at me knowingly, my eyes red and puffy. He made no mention of my pain, though I’m sure he knew the source.
Since then, I’ve immersed myself more fully into battle preparations. With Heph’s and Amell’s direction, I’ve added more strength to all the charms we’re creating to protect the troops from Ferelith’s blood magic. I monitor the creation of potions, charms, and amulets, testing the products as they’re made.
In the afternoons, I work with Amell on using my shadow magic offensively. This is usually hours of frustration for us both. Amell encourages me to take a risk and unleash my darker inner being, and I’m too scared to do so. We curse at each other, and he grumbles that I’m no daughter of his, and I snap back that he’s a deadbeat dad, and then we try again.
It’s truly weird how fast our relationship has progressed in the last few weeks, but I’m living in weird times. I’m also without a family, plus I lost the love of my life. Of course, I’m going to latch on to anyone who shows the faintest care, and Amell has shown—despite the fights we get into over my failure to fully use my new gifts—that he cares for me.
As we fill our plates, Amell entertains Heph and me with what we’ve come to call at dinnertime, “Tales from the Underworld.” Most of the time, it’s funny stories or interesting anecdotes. Sometimes, it’s terrifying.
Amell was second in command under Kymaris, who was the original fallen angel to rule the Underworld. She created a powerful spell that allowed her to escape her realm and later managed, for a brief time, to open the veil that separated her domain from the First Dimension. Luckily, she was defeated and the rips repaired before major damage could be done, but that left the Underworld in need of a new ruler.