“I guess it’s the same reason you seem to want to keep bringing me around,” I answered. “You . . . interest me, I guess. Both of you. You terrified me that first night at the bar—” Damien snickered at this “—but, you helped me. Then, spending that first night with you and Alex piqued my interest even more. You’re so kind and sarcastic and fun to be around. Alex is . . . well, I’m not sure. I feel like I haven’t even broken the surface with him yet, but he’s clearly afraid to let me in besides in a sexual way.” I told Damien about the night Alex was reading and seemed to get angry with me for no apparent reason.
He tied the bottom of my first braid and moved to the second, heaving a heavy sigh and saying, “Alex has been through a lot in his life. He doesn’t really let anyone in, besides me. And even then, that’s rare. But he has told me that he’s working through some of those personal things, and I let him know that I’m here for him, because that’s really all I can do. He’s been through a lot of shit, but it’s not my place to tell you all the details.”
I nodded slightly. It made sense that Alex would want to put up a wall, especially around me. I was a random girl they had brought home from the bar, and he probably didn’t anticipate me sticking around. Damien finished my second braid, tied it off, then pulled me backward into his lap, wrapping his large arms around me and planting a big, wet kiss on my cheek. “I’m glad you admitted to liking me, though. I need a smart, sassy chick like you around here.”
I laughed, but guilt pulled at the pit of my stomach. I still hadn’t told him I was leaving at the end of May, only three months away. But right now, I couldn’t ruin the good thing we had, even if it was just temporary fun. I would tell him someday soon, just not today. I just hoped he would understand.
For the rest of the night, Damien and I watched old Disney movies in the dark, the only light coming from the TV and his lit candles throwing flickering orange light across the walls. The room smelled of cinnamon and vanilla, and his warm body next to mine with his slow, steady breaths soon lulled me into a deep and dreamless sleep.