In Between

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

THE SKY WASa soft, muted gray as Damien drove us home in silence, the two of us in the front seats while Alex was curled up in the back, sleeping. He had been extremely drunk by the time Damien had found him, and it had taken a while to get him out of the club and into the car. Right now, he looked more vulnerable than I had ever seen him, and it tugged at my heart strings to see his dark hair flipped wildly across his face and his mouth hanging slightly open with his steady breaths. He looked so much more innocent and sweet when he was asleep. But he’s still an asshole, I reminded myself.

We had stopped by my apartment so I could change and grab some clothes for the rest of the weekend, and I still insisted on Damien dropping me off in the front parking lot again so he wouldn’t see which apartment around back was mine. Not that I didn’t trust him by this point, but I still didn’t necessarily want them to know where I lived. Despite the fact that I was still a bit hesitant about being around Alex, I figured that their house was big enough that I wouldn’t have to interact with him much if I didn't want to. I was sure he would stay holed up in his basement room with his punching bag as long as I was around, anyway.

Damien wanted me here, though, and that’s what mattered right now.

“You know, I do have a car of my own,” I said to Damien as I tossed my backpack on the floor and slid back into the passenger seat, much more comfortable now in some leggings and a sweater. “I could just drive myself to your house.”

“Yeah, but why would you when you have such a sexy chauffeur in such a gorgeous car?” He winked before accelerating out of the parking lot and onto the road. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, unable to hold in my laugh.

We arrived at their house, the sun now bright in the sky, and I didn’t wait for Alex to wake up in the backseat before snatching Damien’s keys and opening up the front door. I made my way to Damien’s room and plopped on his bed as the exhaustion from being awake all night began to set in. I listened to Damien and Alex’s muffled footsteps and low voices as they came into the house. As much as I tried, I couldn’t figure out what they were saying. I was about ready to sneak downstairs to eavesdrop, but Damien’s heavy steps sounded on the stairway before I could.

I had just gotten my shoes off when he came into the bedroom, looking as tired as I felt, and shrugged off his suit coat to collapse dramatically on the bed, rolling slightly to grab me and pull me on top of him. My head rested in the crook of his neck as he wrapped his arms tightly around me. We didn’t move for a long while; He was warm, and the heady scent of his cologne from the night still lingered on his body. I had almost fallen asleep by the time he moved to gently lay me back on the bed.

“Where are you going?” I mumbled.

“I need to take a shower.”

“Me too.”

“I mean, you’re half asleep, but if you want to come, I’ll let you.” He raised his eyebrow teasingly, making the innuendo glaringly obvious.

“No sex right now, just a shower. Jerk,” I added, smiling and sticking my tongue out. I barely had enough energy to even do that.

“Fine, I’ll save the sex for later, then. And I still get to see you naked either way, which is a win in my book.”

“Shut up,” I laughed. Sleep weighed on my eyelids as I followed Damien to the bathroom and watched him undress. There was something about a man taking off a tie and slowly undoing the buttons on a dress shirt that I just couldn’t resist. Especially when it was him in all his muscled, tattooed glory.

“Are you going to join me, or did you only want to watch?” He winked as he unbuckled his belt and let his pants fall to the floor. I rolled my eyes and undressed myself, though not nearly as smoothly as he had just done.

His eyes watched me just as intently as I had watched him moments before.

The steam of the shower filled the bathroom, and I stepped in first, savoring the hard pressure of the hot water. If I were to sit on the floor of this shower, I could probably fall asleep instantly.

Damien and I did exactly what we had done the last time we showered together: nothing sexual, but damn if it didn’t feel incredible. He washed my hair, massaging my scalp first, then continued massaging deep into my back as he lathered me in soap.

When the both of us had finally rinsed off, he pulled me into his arms again, my back against his body, and we stood there, silent but together, in the hot stream of water until it began to run cold.

After we had toweled off, Damien gave me another of his shirts to wear while we took a nap. It was still pretty early in the morning, but I had always been a night owl anyway. Damien wrapped his comforter around us, pulled me to his chest, and kissed my forehead before lying his head on the pillow.

“I . . .” The catch in his low voice brought my wandering, half-asleep mind back to the present, but just barely.

“Hmm?” I mumbled, barely awake.

“I just . . . I’m glad you’re here,” he said with a soft sigh. “Let’s get some sleep.”

DAMIEN AND Islept through most of the day, then spent another hour lying in bed together half-awake and wrapped around each other, reluctantly rising from bed late in the evening to get some food. Alex was nowhere to be found when we traipsed downstairs and into the kitchen.

“As much as I’d love to cook for you right now, I’m kind of in the mood for something quick and easy,” Damien said.

“Agreed.” I rifled through the cabinets and looked for what would require the least effort while still satiating my hangover hunger.

“Chicken?” I looked over to see Damien holding up a bag of chicken nuggets from the freezer. Not just chicken nuggets, but dinosaur chicken nuggets.

“Um, is there a 5-year-old that lives here that I don’t know about? Why the hell do you have dinosaur chicken nuggets?”

He flashed a goofy grin and shrugged. “They just taste better. Don’t ask me why or how, but it’s the truth. Just like spiral mac ‘n cheese tastes better than the normal kind.”

I snorted in response, but he did have a point. He tossed the bag on the counter along with a bag of frozen fries, then arranged them on a sheet tray and put them in the oven. Thirty minutes later, we were sprawled out across the couch in the living room watching old cartoon reruns.

As the night wore on, we continued to watch TV in comfortable silence, interrupting it only to ask each other random questions, ping-ponging off of each other at random intervals.

“What was your favorite movie as a kid?” I asked.

“Space Jam, for sure,” he answered. “What was your favorite book?”

I replied, “That’s an impossible question to answer. It changed, and continues to change, at least once a year. But I’ve always loved anything with magic and adventure. If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?”

He thought for a moment, then said, “Scotland. I’ve always wanted to go and see the castles and the scenery. It looks sort of magical.” A few moments of silence passed. “Who have you looked up to most in your life?”

“Nobody.” It was the truth, but it felt weird to say out loud, like I was some cynical asshole. “My parents didn’t give a shit about me. They made sure I knew that I was an accident, and they didn’t seem too keen on having a child around to interrupt their nightly party sessions. By the time I was eleven, I was mostly taking care of myself while they traveled and were away for days at a time. I never met my grandparents, and most of the time at school I was quiet enough to fade into the background, so I didn’t connect much with any teachers. I never had an adult around to look up to, so I decided to become that person for myself.”

I immediately felt awkward at the silence following my unintended oversharing. I hadn’t meant to tell him so much about my less-than-ideal childhood. But instead of glossing over it or steering the conversation in another direction, he wrapped his arms around me, pulled me onto his lap, and kissed my neck softly. “Thank you for talking to me,” he said softly. I relaxed back into his warm chest and let the unfamiliar feeling of peace and comfort wash over me. I wondered, is this what it’s like to feel loved? Then quickly pushed the thought out of my mind. Love wasn’t an option, especially when my departure was so soon. I would enjoy what I had now, whatever it was, and let it go when I needed to.

Damien held me through the rest of the night as we giggled and chatted through episode after episode of cartoons from our childhoods. It made me feel like a kid again in the best way possible. We finally gave in to our tiredness well into the night and collapsed into bed together, Damien’s slow breathing eventually lulling me to sleep.