In Between

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

THE NEXT COUPLEof weeks flew by, and I didn’t get to spend as much time with Alex and Damien as I had hoped. I now had to drive 45 minutes to classes every day, and with final exams approaching, I was stressed and exhausted constantly. In addition to school work, I was using my free time to write and earn some extra money. Freelancing was difficult, but I was glad to be able to add in extra work when I needed to.

The time I spent with the boys was never enough. They would often be making dinner by the time I got home from classes, and every few days, we would watch a movie or play a game together. It had been so easy to fall into a comfortable routine with them, and I had realized sometime in the past couple of weeks that this house, with these two men, felt like home.

Nowhere had ever felt like home before. But I didn’t let myself acknowledge it for long before pushing the thought away. Don’t let yourself get emotional, Serena.

After an exhaustingly long week, I drove back to the house on Friday afternoon ready for a short reprieve from school, and I had done enough writing for work on the weekdays that I was allowing myself to spend this weekend freely.

I deserved the break, and I only had two more weeks until I would be leaving. Katherine had left me a couple of voicemails saying that she “just wanted to check in” about the job, but I couldn’t seem to answer her calls or manage to call her back. Every time I thought about it, my heart began to race and my stomach felt uneasy. It had been so much easier to talk to her when it was a distant future plan, something I could look forward to without needing to prepare for. Now that I had to prepare, I was terrified.

When I walked into the living room, Alex and Damien were sat across from each other, clearly deep into conversation about something. But when I closed the door behind me, their talking ceased, and Damien flashed me a grin. “Welcome back. How was school?”

I shrugged. “It was fine. I don’t have many classes next week. Most of my professors are giving us the time off to study or finish our final papers.”

“Hell yeah,” he said. Alex simply nodded, his face still conveying the seriousness of whatever conversation they had just been having.

“What were you guys talking about?” I asked.

“Oh, nothing.” Damien waved his hand as if to show it was no big deal. “Just work stuff.”

He was definitely lying, but I couldn’t call him out on it. “Okay, then. Any plans for the weekend? I managed to do enough this week so that I could take tonight and tomorrow off from any kind of work.”

Alex raised his eyebrows slightly as he quickly glanced at Damien, then back to me. Damien did the same with him, and I wondered what the hell they were up to. “We can do anything you want, baby,” Damien answered with a wink.

I rolled my eyes, smiling. “Honestly, it would be nice to just relax, if I’m being honest. My days feel so much longer driving to and from school. Maybe we can go grab some snacks and just chill tonight?”

“Sounds good to me,” Alex chimed in.

“Me, too,” agreed Damien.

Two hours later, the three of us left the grocery store with bags full of chips, cookies, beer, and frozen pizzas. If it was going to be a night in, we were going to make it a good one.

“What do you want to do tonight? Movies? Games? Lots of wild sex?” Damien asked, giving me a wide-eyed look of feigned surprise when I smacked his arm, laughing.

I thought for a minute. “How about some games first, then maybe a movie later?” Both of them agreed.

An hour later, we had cooked a couple of frozen pizzas and sat in the living room around the coffee table with a game of Scrabble laid out. We took turns playing words on the board, with Alex kicking both of our asses straight away.

“Damn, dude, this isn’t fair,” Damien said, scratching absentmindedly at his beard. “You read too many books.”

Alex chuckled. “Maybe that’s a sign you need to read more, then.”

“Nah, I’ll have time for reading when I’m old. Right now, I gotta focus on all this,” Damien said, gesturing broadly to his upper body and flexing.

I laughed at him as I put my letters on the board and tallied the points.

Eventually, we fell into a quiet routine as we played. I was attempting to plan my comeback to beat Alex, and the boys seemed just as deep in thought as I was. My mind kept wandering, though, as much as I tried to force it not to. In two weeks from now, I was supposed to be leaving for California, when I just finally found somewhere where I feel safe and comfortable. The more time I spent with Alex and Damien, the more I just wanted to stay with them.

As if reading my thoughts, Alex broke the silence. “You know,” he said, “we can drive with you out to California if you want. Help you move your stuff and get settled in.” I hadn’t told him that I had been putting off packing and signing the lease for the apartment out there.

“That’s really sweet of you, but I think it would just be better if I went on my own. It’s going to be hard enough as it is,” I said, tossing a quick glance at Damien, who was still staring at the Scrabble board and avoiding eye contact. I ached with guilt, even though I didn’t necessarily have a reason to feel guilty. They had known since taking me in that I would be leaving again.

“Fair enough. Anyway,” he said, laying down the rest of his letters onto the game board, “I think I better just win this now so we can play something else.” Sure enough, his points were high enough that it would be impossible for either of us to win in the last turn.

“I need a beer,” Damien joked as he threw his remaining letter tiles one-by-one like darts at Alex.

I laughed and jumped up. “I got it. I need one, too.” I had actually been proud of myself in the past couple of weeks. I hadn’t drank nearly as much as before, and when I did drink, it was only one or two as opposed to the five or six I would normally drink when I was stressed.

I tossed Damien his beer as I walked back into the living room and reached over to turn on the TV. “Alright, boys. Get ready for me to kick your asses in Mario Kart.”

“Oh, you’re on,” Damien challenged.

The rest of the night was filled with laughter and fun, and the weight on my chest seemed a little bit lighter. The fact that they had offered to help me move stuck in my mind, and it reminded me that they did actually care about me, no matter the circumstances. I told myself that no matter what might happen, I would worry as little as possible in the next two weeks, though that was easier said than done.