Chapter 16
15 Years Ago—17 Years Old
“Vivian, I wish you’d let me help.” Grandpa sighs, running a weathered and speckled hand over the top of his bald head, while we sit on the couch at Will’s house. He’s here for Sunday dinner like always, and we’re catching up. “Maybe I could adopt you.”
“Grandpa, no.” Burgundy lint from the sofa captures on my black pants while I slide across to move closer to him.
Will complains that the sofa drives him nuts, but I like it. It feels like home to me. I’ll take lint over Lonnie any day.
I’ve been living here or occasionally crashing at a friend’s house ever since Lonnie came into my room with that dead mouse over a year ago. I’ll go over for dinner to make things seem normal when I’m certain my mom and Pat are there—but that’s it. And don’t dare mention the real reason why my nights are spent elsewhere.
The slightest mention of Lonnie escalates the tension and always elicits the threat of a power play move from my mom. “We’re still your parents, and we will take measures to get along and be a happy family” type of shit. That’s all I hear.
When I say nothing, they both think I’m a young girl obsessed with her teenage boyfriend, and neither of them cares enough to stop us.
I’m only encouraged to “make wise choices.” That’s it. Lonnie is in and out of the principal’s office so much they don’t even ask about Will’s family.
Pat’s speech that one day, years back, about me ending up in juvie, is looking to be the opposite. I’m certain Lonnie is on his way there. The only thing is, Pat is still the chief of police and buffers most of the problems.
For me, all the chaos has made it easy to bounce around, even though Will’s mom says I can stay here all the time if I like.
This family is my sanity, along with Grandpa—a person who doesn’t need any more drama from my mom or Pat. A custody battle could only make things worse for him. And with Pat’s brother being the head DA over the whole county, I doubt my grandpa would get anywhere.
Besides, I know Grandpa’s still not doing good, even though it’s been years since Grandma died. So long that I’ve never even met her, but he still talks about her like she walked through their house yesterday. I think the stress would get the better of him.
Moving closer to Grandpa, I smile, hoping to stop his ideas before they get too far.
“There’s only one year of this left, Grandpa. Will and I are both going to turn eighteen, and when we graduate, we’re going to move in together and go to college. We’re both being accepted into Fairfield University. I won't have to deal with Lonnie anymore.”
His white brows lower, and I know that particular contemplation in his gaze. He’s not convinced. “Vivian, are you certain?”
I open my mouth, but a different voice fills the room.
“You worry too much, Earl.” The kind voice belongs to Will’s mom.
Gracefully, she steps into the den, a kind, warm smile lighting up her delicate eyes. She’s so pretty, with skin so smooth she could be made of fine china. And her spirit and treatment of others is just as delicate.
Truly a God-given replacement for my mom.
I admire her soft steps as she approaches, never taking her eyes off my grandpa. “Vivian is the perfect addition here. We’d miss hearing her laugh as often as we do if you adopted her. Enjoy your golden years and leave these springy teenagers to me.”
The cushions sink as Grandpa sighs. “It doesn’t feel right is all—family not raising their own kids. And if my daughter—”
“But that’s where you’re mistaken,” Mrs. Tinley gently interrupts. “Vivian is part of our family. Much like you are. Relational blood isn’t needed as long as what you hold in your heart is love—love is the deepest bond of all.”
Finally, my grandpa chuckles, and I know the issue is going to be put aside, at least for tonight.
The small fingers of Mrs. Tinley smooth over her cashmere sweater, and her lips pull up. “Dinner is almost ready.” Her eyes glow as she directs them to me. “Your favorite. Cordon bleu and mashed potatoes.”
Already my mouth is filled with a puddle of drool, and she’s only halfway out of the room. A light grumble goes off in my stomach when it’s just Grandpa and I again. I rub my midsection in excitement.
“I suppose Mrs. Tinley is right,” Grandpa says, slowly bobbing his head. “And you too, of course.” A slight chuckle comes out. “I wouldn’t have the energy to keep up with you, and Kathy would raise hell if I tried to adopt you.” Creases around his eyes fold and meet as he smiles. Well, sort of smiles. The downturned corners tell me he's anything but happy. “I wish things were different, Vivie.” He reaches out and squeezes my knee. The gesture is firm and strong. Just like him. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” I place my hand on top of his. “Maybe things aren’t perfect, but they could always be worse. I could not be seeing you at all … you know, like before.”
“Your mom…” He shakes his head. “I told her not to marry Pat.” Green eyes, reflecting mine, widen, and thin lips pull down. “Sorry. Pardon my language.”
My head dips. I bite back a giggle. “It's fine, Grandpa.”
I fold my legs underneath me and clasp onto the hand that’s refusing to leave my knee. My limbs loosen and I smile. Crazy how a small connection can provide a wealth of comfort. “Why didn't you want my mom marrying Pat? Was it for the reason she told me … because you only wanted her with my dad?”
“Not in the slightest.” He shrugs. “I loved my son, but Richard died, and I didn’t expect Kathy to live as a widow. I didn’t want her marrying Pat because I suspected he was after Kathy’s money. He had connections, but unlike his brothers, wasn’t making enough to be fully accepted. I think he saw Kathy and went for her because of cash flow.”
Cash flow is right. Mom is the sole daughter of an oil mogul. We’ve never had a moment where our physical needs or wants were a concern. And everyone in town gossips about how Mom therapy shops. I’ve seen it too. Two days after Dad died, she bought all new diamond jewelry to soothe away the pain.
All outward things, of course. Much like her, it’s never about what’s inside.
Grandpa gives my knee one last squeeze, then withdraws his hand, clasping his fingers together and resting them on his soft, rounded belly. “If Lonnie’s problems had been made more clear, I would have begged her to reconsider instead of losing my temper. I’m sorry if I failed you. I’m always placing blame on myself for how she made us stop talking. If I’d been more rational, the outcome might have been different.”
An ache settles in my heart at the terrible story. I see it reflect in Grandpa when his shoulders hunch, and I lean over to hug him.
“None of this is your fault.” A combo of tobacco and Old Spice envelop me as his sturdy arms embrace my shoulders.
“Thank you, sweetie.” We both sniffle while he lets me go, then we release a chuckle together. “Funny we met again anyway, thanks to Will's folks.”
I nod. “Fate, really.”
Without the Tinley family, I might have been separated from Grandpa forever. My mouth quirks up at the few small blessings I have in life.
Mrs. Tinley is right. Love is the thickest bond.
My smile fades as Grandpa squirms on the couch. He clears his throat several times and shoots me a severe side glance, while some loose skin folds between his brows. “Speaking of Will, uh, you two are … taking precautions?”
“Oh, Grandpa.” Volcanic temperatures flood me from head to toe. “Please don't–”
“I’m just trying to fill in where I can.” He raises one hand in surrender. “I’m sure Kathy isn’t checking up on you. I don’t want–”
“We're fine.” I spring off the couch to leave the den area.
“Vivian.”
“It's cool, Grandpa. We're good.” My lips screw up in a tight smile, and I gesture my head for the dining room. “Let's go eat.”