“I can’t, Nate. I am sorry, not when you are drunk like this.”
I started to close the door and he stopped it with his hand.
“Allison, please…it’s Christmas. I am so lonely. I miss you so fucking much.”
“Nate, please leave. I don’t want to see you like this. You’re drunk and you’re scaring me.”
I tried to push the door closed again, but this time, Nate slammed the door all the way open and pushed past me into the living room.
“Allison, you can’t shut me out like this. I fucking love you. I need you.”
He stumbled into the kitchen, grabbing the Chardonnay I had left on the table and started to drink it down fast like water. The glass shattered into pieces as he threw it on the floor. More alcohol was clearly the last thing he needed.
“Nate, you can’t stay. Please go home.” I was shaking.
I immediately remembered the last time that we were together when he hit me across the face after accusing me of cheating on him with Danny. He wasn’t even half as drunk then as he is now.
“Allison, we never got to talk…abou…about what ha…happened between us,” he said as he started walking slowly toward me.
I backed up into the living room, my back facing the window.
I grabbed my cell phone from my purse and held it in my hand in case I needed to dial 911. I felt nauseous as the smell of vodka got closer and closer.
“Who are you calling?” Nate backed me up against the window.
“No one,” I said as my hands that held the phone shook profusely.
“You’re lying.”
Nate grabbed the phone and threw it to the ground. His putrid breath hit my face as he pressed his body into mine.
“Nate, you’re scaring me. Please back away,” I whispered, barely having the energy to talk audibly because I was truly terrified that I didn’t know this person anymore. I didn’t really know anything about Nate on alcohol, except for the fact that he had it in him to use force against me when he was intoxicated like this.
“Allison, I missed you so much. The way you smell, the way you taste, please just let me touch you,” he said leaning in toward me.
I stood frozen with my back against the window as he started kissing my neck. I wanted to vomit. Not only did he reek of vodka, but he smelled of body odor. He wrapped his hands around me and I began to feel his hard-on and became truly worried that he might take this further than kissing my neck.
I tried to remain calm. He then started putting his hands up my shirt and I instinctively pushed him away.
“Allison, we’ve done this a million times, please just relax,” Nate slurred, his eyes half closed.
“Nate, stop!” I screamed as his kiss on my neck turned harder and he started undoing my jeans.
“Allison, don’t you know how many times I’ve made you come? What’s one more time?” he asked.
I kept trying to push him off of me, but he felt like dead weight. The tops of my pants were undone and I was shaking. I couldn’t let this happen.
“Nate, get off of me!” I yelled and pushed him with all of my might.
He fell back and when he regained his balance, he rushed toward me and slapped me so hard across the same right cheek as the last time he hit me.
I started to see stars as he struggled to get my tight skinny jeans off. I was again frozen and could feel tears starting to form quickly.
I decided I would rather die right here and now, than let him force me to have sex with him. I needed to try harder to get him off of me and then, I needed to run like hell.
I came up with a plan that I was going to pretend like I was giving in for a moment and then when his senses were wrapped into the act, I would knee him in the balls and run for the hills.
I stopped resisting and let him continue to kiss my neck with his hands nudging on my pants, still trying to push them down.