Allison then silently turned around and walked back into Callie’s room, closing the door and disappearing from sight.
It took all of my willpower not to go after her, but I knew I had fucked up for the last time. I had no right to touch her ever again.
“Do you mind telling me what is going on?” Mom whispered, looking concerned and a little frightened.
I stood frozen, my eyes staring at the closed door to Callie’s room.
“Ma…I really screwed things up…I…I need to leave. I am so sorry.”
CHAPTER 27
ALLISON
You and your lover may not be on the same page, Gemini. This is a just passing phase, so don't be too upset or put too much emphasis on the turmoil that arrives. Mercury will be going in direct motion soon, soothing miscommunications.
It has been nearly a month since that moment at Bettina’s house, the last time I saw Cedric.
I had told his mother that night, after he left, that I couldn’t talk about what happened and asked her to kindly not mention it again. I assured her, though, that I would not be leaving my job with Callie and while still confused, she seemed relieved to hear that.
I heard from him only one time after that night, in a text I received a few days later, as I sat in my bathtub soaking away the pain of losing him, a pain like none I had ever felt, aside from losing my mother.
The Monday night of the text, I had run a bath after returning from my shift with Lucas. As I sat in the water, my body ached for Cedric’s touch as much as my heart ached. This feeling is what I imagined withdrawal from heroin might be like. My phone chimed and I lifted out of the water to check it when I saw that the text was from Cedric.
Allison…please forgive me. All of this…it’s not what you think. I will explain it to you someday. Please just know, that you mean so much to me.
Why?
Fuck you, Cedric.
Fuck you for hurting me so much.
I didn’t return the text. Instead, the glass on my iPhone shattered after I threw it across the bathroom and it landed on the tile floor.
A flood of tears poured out of my eyes and my body shook uncontrollably.
How I wanted to go back a few weeks in time and stay there forever. I had so much hope for the future then, so much love in my heart for that man. So much love…after such a short time. I had been sure it was love, not lust, and now I wasn’t sure I could ever trust my own judgment ever again.
I felt faint as I sat in the hot bathwater, but had no strength to get up. I had eaten barely a morsel since that day and would have to face Cedric’s mother tomorrow to work with Callie for the first time since the last encounter. I had considered giving my notice then, but decided that I would not let Cedric take away the one good thing I had left, so I was determined to find a way to compartmentalize the two things. Callie shouldn’t have to pay for her asshole brother’s mistake.
I had no idea what was really going on with him and what his mother now knew, though. Here’s what I knew: her son abandoned me and there was, as he admitted, ‘someone else.’
The text confused me, though, because he claimed ‘it wasn’t what I thought’. What the hell was it, then? I think admitting that there was someone else, makes it pretty damn clear what is going on.
Whatever the exact reason, he had hurt me so deeply that it was beyond repair. I was at least glad he didn’t prolong our relationship even further. God knows where I’d be then.
Now, a month later, after weeks of not eating and sleeping, the wrath of Cedric was just starting to really take its toll.
“Al…Al…wake up…you’re going to be late for work.” I heard Sonia shouting as I lay in bed, having slept through my alarm, yet again. I had been awake so much in the middle of the night lately that I would finally fall back asleep about four in the morning, only to have to wake up an hour later for the diner job.
Sonia hugged me as finally sat up. “Al, you know you are going to have to talk to me about it some point, don’t you?
“Sonia, like I told you…talking about it isn’t going to change anything. There is nothing to say. Cedric left me for someone else…if we were even ever together at all. My life is back to being shit and I am alone again…end of story,” I said hoarsely.
“You’re not alone…you have me, Bitch. But that Bastard…you were so happy for the first time since I have known you and he seemed to think you were the bees knees…he wrote a fucking rap song for you, for Christ’s sake. I just don’t get it. I mean…I could see in his eyes how into you he was. I just don’t know what to believe in, anymore. I’d like to cut his balls off and—” Sonia stopped talking, shook her head and grabbed a brush and started brushing my hair.
“You know I brush my own hair, right?” I said.
Sonia ignored me and kept brushing. “Sure, darling, I do. Just let me.”