Gemini

We both looked at him and let him speak.

“Aside from losing Amanda, battling this disease has been the darkest time of my life. Allison, whether you know it or not…your being here has taken that darkness away. I don’t want to keep you from your life in Boston, but if you are serious about staying here…there is nothing I would want more.”

My mouth formed a huge smile and I got up to hug him.

“It’s settled then,” I said.

***

I needed them as much as they needed me. That’s what it came down to.

Two and a half months later, Ed’s treatments ended and he was in remission. I had been there every day, with him for every treatment and it was safe to say, I had a new number one fan.

I think my bond with Ed, more so than Elaine, had something to do with the fact that I never experienced having a father. My mother couldn’t be replaced, but there was no competition for the role of Dad.

Ed quickly became very protective of me and the advice he gave me was more to the point and blunt than I remember getting from my Mom. Overall, I was figuring out that even though I never felt I needed one, it was pretty damn cool to have a father fig

ure.

One night after dessert, Elaine was cleaning up in the kitchen and Ed and I were sitting down in the living room when he turned to me. “I want you to know something, kid. If I knew that your birth mother had given birth to two girls, I would have adopted you too that day you were born. You would have been my daughter. It would have been for the sheer fact that you were Amanda’s twin. But I never got that opportunity. But let me tell you, now that I know you and the type of person you have become, I know that the right person raised you, because she did a tremendous job. I also know that I would choose you as a daughter today for more reasons that just the fact that you are genetically related to Amanda. You are the best kind of human being, the kind that always puts others before herself and I would have been so proud if your sister turned out to be just like you. I want you to know that from this day forward, you are not a fatherless child. You have a father. I want nothing more in this life to give you back just a fraction of the love you have shown me these past several weeks.”

Tears flowed heavily as I put my head on Ed’s shoulder. “Thank you. Thank you, Ed.”

He squeezed me tightly and turned to me, “That being said, Allison, as much as I don’t want to lose you, I think you need to face your life in Boston. I know that you were running away from all of the hurt and that hurt let us have you for a while. But I think until you face what you were running from, you won’t have the same kind of peace that I have found in facing you.”

He continued, “We haven’t told Cedric you have been here all this time, because I know that’s what you wanted. I know that you don’t want to face him…but when Elaine gave me the phone the night you confronted him with the photo, I heard the tears and pain in his voice. I knew then that you must have been pretty damn special for him to be so torn up about losing you. He loves you, Allison. I couldn’t have told you whether or not he truly loved Amanda the same way…but he loves you…that I know for sure.”

I thought about what Ed said. Cedric was in bad shape that night, barely unrecognizable when I walked in on him with that long beard and his normally translucent blue eyes were dark and tired. Could he really have been that torn up over me?

Did he really love me?

Did I love him?

I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

***

We decided that I would stay another couple of weeks and head back to Boston the day before Labor Day.

The plan was for me to fly out to Chicago again to visit in a couple of months and then Ed and Elaine would come out to Boston for the holidays.

I notified both the diner and Bright Horizon’s that I would be returning after Labor Day if they would have me back and requested that I be placed back with my original clients, although I was still waiting to hear on that.

My last day in Naperville, I wanted to go somewhere that I hadn’t been yet, but needed to visit before I left: Amanda’s grave.

I asked Ed and Elaine if it would be okay if I went alone, so Ed let me borrow his car.

As I drove into Pinewoods Cemetery, I followed the directions that they carefully wrote out for me so that I could find the plot.

I had stopped at a florist and picked out pink roses, which Ed told me, were Amanda’s favorite. I remembered the dried up pink rose in Cedric’s binder, the same binder where I found the photo and wondered if he took it from her burial service.

After driving up a hill and admiring the grassy scenery, I finally found the exact spot where my sister was buried.

Upon seeing the terracotta colored granite headstone, I immediately broke into tears, placing the roses down.

Amanda Rose Thompson June 2, 1984-May 1, 2002, Loving Daughter

It crossed my mind that had we known each other, it might have read ‘loving daughter and sister.’