Rack & Ruin (THIRDS 3)

SLOANE EYED the newest addition to his partner’s desk with mixed feelings. It was a coffee mug. Of course, this was Dex, so it wasn’t any old coffee mug. It had a silhouette of a guy jumping against the backdrop of a sunny day. Sloane read the black text underneath the leaping man out loud without the excitement the exclamation mark suggested.

“I pooped today.”

Dex grinned as he typed away at his desk’s interface. “What a coincidence. So did I.”

“I was reading your mug, wise guy.” He immediately regretted opening his mouth. This was going to go to weird places. He just knew it.

“So you didn’t poop today?”

“I’m not going to discuss my bowel movements with you.” Yep. Weird places.

The smile never left Dex’s face despite his attention not moving from his report. “You don’t think we’ve reached that stage in our relationship?”

“I don’t know what stage that’s supposed to be, but I have no intention of ever reaching it.” There were just some body fluids he wasn’t comfortable with. Which was why he was so useless around babies. Babies scared the hell out of him. They were so tiny and fragile. It’s like they knew he was freaked out by them because they always screamed and wailed when they saw him or he was forced to hold one. He frowned at the thought.

Dex gave him a curt nod. “No discussing poop. Got it.”

Were they still having this conversation? “Stop saying that word.”

“What word?”

“Poop.” This had to be the strangest conversation he’d ever had at the office. He was hardly surprised he was having it with Dex. His partner cackled and sat back in his chair, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Jackass.” Sloane stood and snatched up his normal THIRDS issued coffee mug. “I haven’t had nearly enough caffeine to deal with you this morning.”

Dex held out his empty mug. “How about being a good partner and grabbing me a cappuccino?”

Sloane stared at him. “You want me to walk into the canteen with that?” He stepped up beside Dex and started rummaging through his partner’s desk drawers ignoring the stash of sweets.

“What are you looking for?”

“Your marbles. I think what was left of them slipped out of your head.” Sloane shut the drawer and headed for the door. “Make sure no one trips on them when they walk in here.”

“Wait, I’ll come with you.” Dex jumped to his feet, mug in hand. “I have to talk to you about something serious.”

“Me-serious or Dex-serious?” They headed into the bullpen, past the many offices occupied by Unit Alpha’s Defense teams, and out to the reception area. It was pretty quiet at this time of day, which wasn’t unusual. With everything going on lately, their department was busier than ever. Even with the Coalition case hitting Threat Level Red and all other cases getting shuffled around, it didn’t mean new cases weren’t being opened. Crime didn’t reschedule because THIRDS agents were being run off their feet. In fact, it’s when criminals decided to put in some overtime. Sloane greeted the team of receptionists before heading down the corridor toward the elevator.

“How are the two different?” Dex asked.

Unsurprisingly, there was a big difference. After all his years in the field, Sloane was still running across surprises and situations he’d never been faced with. Granted, those instances were usually provided courtesy of his partner.

Every day on the job was like opening a mystery box. He never knew what he was going to get. One particular incident from the previous week jumped out at him.

“Dex serious is ‘Uh-oh, I dropped a gummy bear inside the grenade launcher.’” He glanced over at his partner and wondered how the guy always managed to look innocent no matter how devious a scheme he’d just pulled off.

“I hadn’t realized it was stuck to my visor until it fell in. Then it was too late.”

“You almost took that perp’s eye out,” Sloane reminded him.

“Luckily the evidence was edible.”

“That’s gross. You’re damn lucky it didn’t fuck up the grenade launcher. Letty would have kicked your ass.” As much as Letty loved Dex, she loved her toys just as much and got mighty pissed off when someone broke something through carelessness. Especially since she’d then have to explain to Maddock why the team had gone over their equipment budget and the reason for the equipment malfunction.

They walked into the elevator that was thankfully empty, and Sloane provided his handprint along with his badge number to get them descending to the thirteenth floor. It occurred to him his caffeine intake had nearly doubled in the last few months. His eyes landed on the likely cause.

Dex held his hand up in promise. “No more gummy bears while my visor’s down. Got it. What I was going to talk to you about is you-serious.”

“I like how you glossed over the whole eating gummy bears out in the field infraction with your offer of not eating them with your visor down.” His partner was the king of evasive tactics. Well suited for government work.