"Remember when Sloane thought I was fucking with him, so he dragged me and Maddock down there to see for himself?"
Hudson gasped before laughing again. "That's right! He threw up on Sergeant Maddock's boots."
"Yes!" Seb held on to his side, he was laughing so hard. He could still see Maddock's horrified expression. If Seb hadn't been in danger of losing what little contents he'd had in his stomach as well, he would have snapped a picture with his phone.
"Poor Sloane." Hudson shook his head as he squeezed ointment into his hand. "He was mortified. Couldn't stop apologizing."
"Maddock avoided standing next to him for weeks." Seb wondered if Dex was privy to that little tidbit of information about his future husband. Hmm. He might just keep that ace up his sleeve.
Seb still couldn't believe Sloane was engaged. Had someone asked him years ago which member of his team was least likely to end up married, Seb would have said Sloane. His friend and former Team Leader believed himself too messed-up to make anyone happy for long. Seb understood where Sloane was coming from. When Seb had found out Dex and Sloane were involved, he'd been knocked for a loop. The two couldn't be more different.
Seb was happy for them. On the job, public displays of affection between them were understated, but anyone who knew them could see how in love they were. The way they looked at each other, the subtle way Sloane reassured himself and others that Dex was his by keeping physical contact with Dex, whether by placing his hand on Dex's lower back or shoulder. The way they murmured to each other or whispered in the other's ear spoke of a tender intimacy and fierce love that was at times too painful for Seb to witness.
Hudson's warm hands on him sobered Seb up in a heartbeat. He swallowed hard as heat spread through him. A heat that had nothing to do with the ointment seeping into his skin and everything to do with the man's searing touch. Hudson worked deftly as he massaged the medicine into Seb's knee and the muscles around it. It hurt like hell, always did, but Seb was too mesmerized by Hudson to pay attention to the pain.
Hudson's beautiful face was a picture of focus as he took care of Seb's knee. When they'd been together, Hudson had done this for Seb every day at work and at home. No one looked after Seb like Hudson. His care was unexpected, and had it come from anyone else, Seb would have thanked them and continued to do everything for himself, like he always did. But he'd never forget the warm smile or the affection in Hudson's eyes the first time he'd gone to massage Seb's knee. Seb would never forget his words either.
"Let me take care of you, love. I want to do that for you. Will you let me?"
Seb hadn't simply let Hudson take care of him--he'd relished it, thrived on it. He'd put himself, his trust, everything he was in Hudson's hands. Vulnerability was something he could never afford, and he found it hard to give up control, to let down his guard. He missed Hudson so goddamn much it choked him up inside.
"Have you been sticking to your routine?" Hudson asked.
"Yeah." Seb's voice came out rough, and Hudson turned his gaze up. He never missed a beat, an intake of breath, a look. "It's not the same," Seb admitted. "Not like when you do it."
"Well, I am a doctor." Hudson turned his attention back to Seb's knee.
"That's not why." Seb leaned forward to touch him, and Hudson stilled, his breath hitching. He swallowed visibly before slowly removing a roll of bandages from the kit. Seb's gut clenched, and he sat back, returning his hand to his knee. He no longer held the right to touch Hudson when the urge struck him. Hudson might bear his mark, but he wasn't Seb's.
Seb averted his gaze while Hudson wrapped his knee. Damn, he hated this. Their relationship had been far from perfect, and they'd argued like any couple, but it never lasted. Seb couldn't stand having Hudson mad at him, and he couldn't bear to be away from him for long. All Seb had to do was look into those bright pools of blue, and he was lost, drowning in the love he had in his heart, so he gave in. He was a pushover where Hudson was concerned. Giving in was better than fighting. He couldn't stand the fighting. It tore at his insides. The subject of their worst arguments never changed--Seb was too protective.
Seb had given in to Hudson from the beginning, allowing him to take care of Seb like he wanted to, but when Seb tried to do the same with Hudson, he came up against a wall. It was engrained in Hudson. Stiff upper lip and all that. He prided himself on his steadfast composure, his ability to guard against any vulnerability he might feel, and his self-reliance. Just because he let Seb in, allowed Seb to see him like no one else did, did not mean he was vulnerable. He did not need sheltering. However, Seb couldn't help himself, especially after he'd marked Hudson. He needed to protect what was his. The urge had grown with every passing day until one day he'd fucked it all up.
Hudson's hands on his calf had him drawing a sharp breath and brought him back to the present. Despite the anguish in his heart, having Hudson in the same room made him smile. Very few understood Seb's inability to move on. There was no moving on from Hudson Colbourn.
In their years apart, Seb had several sexual encounters, but he wasn't interested in moving beyond a few nights of sex with any of those guys. None of them was Hudson. Cael had been the first to change things. Seb had let down his guard with the young cheetah Therian, and the two had become good friends since, but in his heart of hearts, Seb had known it wouldn't work, and not just because Cael was in love with someone else. No one could come close to the man before him.
With a smile, Seb leaned forward, and this time, he put his fingers under Hudson's chin. He lifted his face, and their eyes met.
"Hey."
Hudson gave him a bashful smile. "Hey."
"Thanks for helping me out."
Hudson's expression softened, and he relaxed. "Of course. Promise me you'll be more careful."
"I promise." Seb gave him a wink and sat back. He looked down at himself. "Guess I should pull my pants back up, huh?" He waggled his eyebrows. "Unless you don't want me to."
"You cheeky bugger." Hudson smacked Seb's flank playfully. "Stop it." He strapped Seb back into his leg brace before standing up.
"Admit it, you love that about me."
"I do," Hudson said with a sigh before catching himself. His face flushed, and Seb couldn't help but tease.
"Better get dressed, then. Don't want you distracted for the rest of the day."
Hudson's eyebrows shot up, and he laughed. "Oh, it's like that, ay?"