Hudson cleared his throat and pointed off behind him. "You should, um, see to the laundry." He ignored Seb's chuckle, following him to the large cupboard set in the wall housing the washer and tumble dryer.
Hudson knew this room well. How many hours had he spent down here with Seb, playing games, laughing, making out like a couple of teenagers, and apparently treating the whole of the household to the sound of live porn?
When Thomas was having a rough week or needed extra care, Seb and Hudson would stay at the house to help Julia and offer support. He and Seb would play table tennis, snuggle together to watch a movie, or just lie together on the incredibly comfortable L-shaped couch, murmuring tender endearments while drifting off to pleasant dreams.
The Hobbs brothers had fixed up the basement not long after Ethan started at the THIRDS. It had quickly become a favorite, filled with high-tech gadgets, a pool table, an air hockey table, dartboard and darts, a big-screen TV, Blu-ray player, sound system, a bar, several video game consoles, and a couch Hudson wanted to live in. It was plush perfection. The boys had a chairlift installed so Thomas could join them during get-togethers or when he just fancied using the room.
Hudson leaned against the wall as Seb opened the tumble dryer, his shirtsleeves stretching over his biceps when he reached in to remove clothes and place them in an empty laundry basket.
"Thank you for coming. I really appreciate it. It made them both so happy," Seb said, his smile bright as he filled the basket.
Hudson swallowed past the lump in his throat and turned his gaze to the room. He hadn't expected this house to still feel like home after all this time. "I missed them," he admitted.
Julia and Thomas had been the parents he never had, which was a sad statement considering his own parents were alive and well. So much of Julia and Thomas's behavior had baffled him at first. When one of the boys broke something by accident, Julia would wave it off, her only concern that they hadn't hurt themselves. No reprimands or talk of how much something cost were forthcoming. Julia never told Ethan he was clumsy or Seb that he should pay more attention to what he was doing.
The first time Julia hugged Hudson and kissed his cheek, Hudson had frozen to the spot. When Seb asked him what was wrong, Hudson whispered that his parents never hugged or kissed him. Seb had been shocked, then saddened. Hudson hadn't understood the reaction. He could hardly miss something he never had. Seb asked Hudson if he was okay with it, and Hudson nodded. It would take some getting used to, but it was nice. It was nice how Thomas patted him on the back, a smile on his face as he wheeled by just because he was happy Hudson was there. It wasn't that Hudson's parents didn't love him, because they did, in their own way. They simply never showed affection. It wasn't who they were. Love was shown in other ways, usually involving money or boasting of achievements to other prominent figures.
"Lobito? You okay?"
"I didn't think it would feel like this. Like I never left," Hudson replied, sighing before he could stop himself. So many happy memories in this room, a safe den filled with love and laughter. In this room, Hudson had dreamed of one day being married to Sebastian Hobbs, of being husband to a man who was everything Hudson had ever wanted.
"I know."
Seb's soft-spoken admission snapped Hudson from his thoughts, and he dared to look at Seb, surprised by the love in his stunning green eyes. Why did the man have to be so beautiful, so warm, kind, and damned patient?
"We had a lot of firsts down here." Seb pointed in the direction of the TV. "That's where you kicked my ass at Mario Kart for the first time." He moved his finger to the air hockey table. "That's where you kicked my ass at air hockey." When he moved his finger again, Hudson chuckled. "That's where you kicked my ass at table tennis. What kind of nerd are you? You're not supposed to beat the jock at sports."
Hudson shrugged. "I was always rather good at sports."
Seb pointed to the pool table. "At least I kicked your butt at pool."
"Only because you cheated," Hudson reminded him, arching an eyebrow.
Seb gasped, a hand going to his chest. "Me? Cheat?" He shook his head. "I won that game fair and square."
"Pardon? Fair my arse." Hudson walked over to the pool table to stand at the end of it. He leaned in to tap a spot on the table. "Right here. I remember quite clearly. I was one perfect shot away from obliterating you, and you--"
Seb stepped up behind him and placed his hands to Hudson's hips, his groin all but pressed up to Hudson's arse. The power of speech eluded Hudson.
"That's right," Seb said, his voice a husky drawl, folding himself over Hudson's back, his warm breath against Hudson's temple. "I remember now. You were bent over, ready to take the shot, and I came up behind you just like this, and you hit the ball so hard it flew off the table and made a
big dent in the wall."
Hudson swallowed hard. Slowly he drew himself up, Seb following his movement, and Hudson's body ended up pressed against Seb's. A shiver racked through Hudson, and he closed his eyes. Being in Seb's arms brought a flood of want through him.
How many nights had he spent awake in bed, yearning for the man, wishing Seb was at his side, holding him, kissing him? How long would they be paying for their sins? Had it even been a sin? It was a tragedy, one Hudson wished with all his heart hadn't occurred, but he'd sacrificed his mate, his happiness, the other half of him in penance. Almost seven years. Seven years barely living, going through the motions, attempting to have a semblance of a life, pretending he wasn't dying a little inside with every passing day. Maybe if they hadn't bonded, if Seb hadn't reached into Hudson's soul and claimed it as his own, then maybe Hudson could have moved on, but simply being around Seb, seeing his smile, had been enough to hold him over, to keep him hoping that one day things would be different. Yet no matter the pain, not once did Hudson regret falling in love with Seb or being marked by him.
Seb gently turned Hudson to face him, their lives together reflected in his captivating eyes. Hudson put his fingers to Seb's jaw and the permanent stubble Hudson loved to feel against his bare skin. Seb had a strong nose, square jaw, and thick black eyebrows. His eyes were hooded, and his smile crooked. When he laughed, really laughed, a dimple appeared, and he put his heart into his laughter, filling with glee like a little boy. At seven feet tall and three hundred pounds, built of solid muscle, with a fierce tiger Therian lurking inside him, Sebastian Hobbs should have been frightening, and for some he was. Hudson had never felt safer than he did in Seb's embrace. He'd never felt more loved or cherished.
"I don't come down here so much anymore," Seb murmured, his hands still on Hudson's waist. His voice was gravelly, a sexy roll of sounds that formed words and promises of worship, and that's what it felt like to be loved by Sebastian Hobbs. Seb didn't love halfheartedly. He didn't hold back or hide a part of himself. He bared his soul, left himself vulnerable to those given the gift of his love.
"Why?"
Seb put his hand to Hudson's cheek, his thumb stroking softly. "Hurts too much."
Hudson gingerly put his hands on Seb's chest, splaying his fingers over the hard pectoral muscles beneath the fabric of Seb's cotton T-shirt. His mind was awash with memories of Seb's sculpted body over Hudson's, pressing him down into the mattress, strong hands caressing Hudson's neck, Hudson's legs wrapped around powerful thighs beneath a perfect arse. Hudson's pleasure was paramount to Seb. He always thought of Hudson before himself, and Hudson had accepted. Nina was right. He'd been selfish, always taking what he needed from Seb, believing he gave enough, that Seb had everything he needed from Hudson, but how could he have everything when Hudson held so much back?
"I'm sorry," Hudson said, the words caught in his throat. "I'm so sorry."