"You're incorrigible," Hudson said, shaking his head.
Nina laughed and stood. "I'm going to let Sloane know we're ready to take the body."
"You do that." Hudson ignored her poking her tongue out at him, along with Seb's rumble of a chuckle.
"I was thinking we might have dinner at that cute little Korean place over on East 31st Street, the one where we had our first date."
Hudson beamed up at him. "Really?"
"Yeah, there's something I want to talk to you about, and I know how much you love that place." Seb's cheeks flushed, and Hudson's heart skipped a beat. He had opened his mouth to reply when a fellow agent called Seb over. "Hold that thought."
Hudson w
atched Seb go, admiring the breadth of his shoulders, the way his body moved beneath the layers of his uniform. It took everything he had not to release a breathy sigh, and he reminded himself a crime scene was certainly not the place to leer at his hot boyfriend.
Movement from the corner of his eye caught Hudson's attention. A man emerged from behind one of the BearCats.
It all happened in a blur. The man aimed a gun at Hudson's chest just as Hudson hit the pavement, Seb shielding Hudson with his body. Shots rang out a heartbeat before a barrage of gunfire exploded through the air. The world seemed to slow to a crawl, and Hudson was engulfed in silence, hearing nothing but his ragged breath. The quiet was shattered by a bloodcurdling scream. Hudson lifted his head, his heart leaping in his throat.
"No," he whispered, pushing at Seb. Seb rolled off him, and Hudson scrambled to his feet, tears blurring his vision as he sped over to the woman holding a small lifeless boy in her arms. Hudson dropped to his knees, bile rising in his throat and threatening to choke him at the sight of the gaping wound in the tiny body. No, oh God, no. Frantically, he felt for the boy's pulse, refusing to listen to his brain as it told him the boy was gone. The woman screamed, each shriek like a knife to Hudson's ears. She held her baby to her, rocking him, her hands and clothes covered in blood. Looking down, Hudson inhaled sharply at the blood on his trembling hands.
"I... I'm so sorry." Hudson's words were a broken whisper. Tears rolled down his cheeks as agents and EMTs darted around them, trying to assess the situation, get to the boy, and calm the mother. She had gone ashen, her body racking with shivers. What if he was wrong? He had to check again. Maybe the little boy was all right, maybe if he checked again.... Someone grabbed Hudson under his arms, and Hudson fought against them.
"No, I need to check again. I'm wrong. I have to be. He has to be--he can't--please." Hudson was dragged back and pulled to his feet away from the hysterical mother. His knees buckled, and he would have crumpled to the ground if Seb hadn't held him up. Hudson gazed up into the tearful eyes of the man he loved, the heartache and guilt a reflection of Hudson's own. It should have been Hudson. The bullet had been meant for him. Maybe it would have killed him, maybe he would have survived, but either way, the child would be alive. Because of their bond, their first instinct had been to protect each other when it should have been to protect the public.
"What have we done?" Hudson's words were barely a whisper.
"YOU TORE my family apart, and here you are like nothing happened." Mrs. Palmer's voice snapped Hudson from his trance, and Hudson thought he might be sick.
"Is that what you think?" Seb asked in disbelief. "That we picked up where we left off? I know I can't possibly fathom the extent of the loss you've suffered, but we didn't just carry on with our lives. It ripped us apart. I might not have lost my mate to a bullet that day, Mrs. Palmer, but make no mistake, I lost him."
"Your bond made you both unfit to serve, and you proved as much with your actions that day. My son lost his life due to your animal instincts. The courts may have ruled in your favor, but they were wrong. Marked mates have no place in law enforcement, much less in the same department. You're no better than animals, unable to control your impulses."
"Forgive me." Hudson ran from the supermarket, ignoring Seb calling his name. He took off toward 10th Avenue, grateful for the head start. Seb wouldn't just take off and leave a distraught Mrs. Palmer standing in the middle of the grocery store in tears. If Seb decided to go after him, Hudson would never make it to the 7 train station on 11th Street. For all his bulk, Seb was a tiger Therian. If he pushed enough, he could easily catch up to Hudson.
By the time Hudson reached the escalators down to the train, he was out of breath, but the lack of air and burn in his lungs was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. How could he have been so foolish, believing he and Seb could have a life together? Mrs. Palmer was right. Their bond made them unpredictable. They'd sworn an oath to protect the citizens of New York City, yet when they were together, their instincts fought against that promise. Hudson was often called out to Theta Destructive's crime scenes. Seb was fiercely protective of him as it was. How much worse would it be if they were together again? Hudson couldn't take the risk of history repeating itself.
He wiped at his eyes, refusing to fall apart in the middle of the damned train station in front of strangers, but as he crowded into the corner of the car, he couldn't hold back the crushing grief that washed over him. There was no going back to Seb.
Ever.
"HEY."
Seb was faintly aware of someone hovering over him, carefully removing the beer bottle from his hand. What time was it? How long had he been sitting here on the couch staring at nothing? The last half of the evening was a blur, a jumble of images and events. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to remember.
Mrs. Palmer.
Seb had apologized again and again. Not that it would do any good. He spewed word vomit at her, pleading for her to listen, to understand. He doubted she had, and he didn't blame her. Why should she care? How the fuck was she supposed to move on from losing a child? The area should have been secured. They'd been informed it was secure. Why did she choose that exact moment to leave her home? Seb let out a snort of disgust. How many times was he going to ask himself the same questions?
When the gunman emerged, gun pointed at Hudson, Seb reacted to Hudson being in immediate danger, all the while believing the mother and child weren't targets. In court, it was argued that he'd breached protocol by not preserving the life of the mother and child, but the defense argued that since the intended target had been Hudson and the gunman had aimed solely at Hudson, Seb had done his duty in preserving life. It never occurred to Seb that the mother and child would end up in the line of fire or that the gunman would get another shot off before being neutralized. The court had ruled in Seb and Hudson's favor, and the agent who'd given the all clear took the fall, but the damage had been done. Seconds. That was all it took to shatter two families.
Once Mrs. Palmer left the grocery store, Seb did the same. He called his mom, and calm as could be, lied, telling her he was sorry, that work had called and they wouldn't make dinner. He couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth. No doubt she saw right through him; she always did. But he just... couldn't. He arranged for dinner to be delivered to his parents from a local restaurant. Then he picked up a lot of alcohol from... fuck, he couldn't even remember where. Someplace.
The room was blurry, and his head felt fuzzy, thick. His limbs uncooperative. At some point he'd gotten rid of his shirt, too hot and uncomfortable in his own skin. Someone tilted his head back and waved a hand in front of his face. Seb swatted at the shadows with a grunt, or at least he thought he did.
"Shit. Look at you. How much did you drink?"
Curses followed the sound of clinking bottles.