Against The Grain (THIRDS 5)

“So exactly how much groveling do I have to do to make up for what happened during training?”

Cael looked thoughtful as he sipped his soda, his plump lips especially pouty and wet as he sucked on his straw. If Ash didn’t know any better, he’d say Cael was doing it on purpose. Was Cael giving him the silent treatment? No, Cael wouldn’t do that. He knew how much Ash hated those sorts of games. Cael was either thinking up ways for Ash to make it up to him, or he was plotting his demise. Both were somewhat worrisome, though not exactly surprising.

“I know I was an asshole,” he said, his fingers finding the hem of Cael’s T-shirt. He slipped them under the gray cotton and held back a smile at the way Cael’s cheeks turned pink. “And you’re the last person on this earth I would ever want to be an asshole to. But your safety and well-being mean more to me than what you might think of me for my methods. You are what matters most to me, and if I have to piss you off every day to make sure you stay safe, then so be it. Whatever happens during our training, I promise to apologize after every session. To remind you that what you see in there is me doing what I have to do to protect you. So I’m sorry for being an asshole. As a peace offering, I’d like to make you dinner. We can watch a movie, hang out, play video games. Whatever you want. Just like we used to. What do you say?”

Cael looked up at him, his big gray eyes and loving expression stealing Ash’s breath away.

“Really?”

“Really. Do you forgive me?”

“Only if you forgive me for punching your boys.” He cringed. “I’m so sorry.” Cael put his hand to Ash’s bicep, his expression worried. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you too bad, did I?”

“You punched me in the nuts.”

Cael burst into laughter, then slapped a hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t mean to laugh.” He laughed again, a sweet chuckle that warmed Ash’s heart. “I am so sorry.”

“No you’re not.” Ash pretended to be put off. He laid his arm behind Cael’s head on the seat’s backrest and poked him in his side, making him squirm.

“Sorry I’m late.”

They all turned their attention to Calvin, who looked like he could use some sleep. Something was going on with his teammate. Ash had stopped by Calvin and Hobbs’s office after his training with Cael, but neither had been in. He hadn’t seen Hobbs all day, which was unusual.

“Where’s Hobbs?” Ash asked. He’d specifically told everyone they had to be there.

“He couldn’t make it. I can’t stay long. He’s on his own at home.”

Everything fell into place. Jesus, why hadn’t Calvin told him Hobbs was having a rough time with his anxiety? It wasn’t as if the team didn’t know Hobbs. They all understood and supported the guy, had been doing it for years. They knew when to encourage him and when to back off. If Hobbs was home, it meant he couldn’t leave the apartment. This was usually one of those times when Calvin would stay home with his partner. He always did.

“It’s been a while,” Cael said, worried for his friends.

Calvin sighed and slipped into the booth across from Ash and Cael. There were bags under his eyes, and he looked exhausted. “Sorry I haven’t told you guys. It’s been a rough couple of weeks. He hasn’t had it this bad in a while. Thanksgiving was a fucking disaster.”

“I thought you and your mom spent every Thanksgiving with Hobbs and his family?” Cael said.

“We do, and we did again. Man, I wish we hadn’t. That morning, when Ethan woke up, I knew it was bad. It took me three hours to get him out of bed. I helped him pick out his clothes, and then his mom called, and he didn’t even want to talk to her. She understood. His parents are really supportive and understanding, always have been. They’ve done everything they could for him and his condition since he was a kid, and the meds were really helping. He still has rough days, but they haven’t been nearly as bad as this.” Calvin looked like he was on the verge of tears. Dex must have noticed, because he sat down beside Calvin and put his arm around him.

“What happened, Cal?”

“Ethan calmed down. I made him some tea, and he seemed okay. I told him if he didn’t want to go to his mom’s it was no big deal. We could stay in and chill. His mom even offered to drop us off some Thanksgiving dinner. Ethan said it was fine. I know he just didn’t want to disappoint his mom. So we went. My mom was already there, because she always heads off early to help with the cooking.

“We all sat around the table, and everything was fine. Ethan was quiet, but he was smiling, so he was doing okay. Then the doorbell rings. Rafe had fucking invited a friend without letting us know ahead of time, some guy Ethan had never met. He panicked, got up so quick he knocked over a bottle of red wine by accident, and that fucking prick Rafe yelled at him.” Calvin blinked back his tears. “His brother is fucking hyperventilating in front of him, and he’s yelling at him, telling him not to be such a child, that he does it to get attention.”

“Hey, it’s okay, pal.” Dex rubbed his hand over Calvin’s back.

Calvin balled his hands into fists on the table, a tear rolling down his cheek. “Rafe is yelling at Ethan, and then that stupid son of a bitch friend of his starts laughing and calls Ethan a spaz. I fucking lost my shit. Tackled him and punched him in the face. Seb pulls me off him, and I would have gone right back to beating the shit out of him if I hadn’t seen my mom hugging Ethan. He was sitting on the floor covering his ears and struggling to breathe. Seb helped me get him to his old bedroom. We got him into bed, and Seb left me alone with him. I don’t know how long it took, but I stayed up with him, soothing him until he fell asleep.” He drew in a shaky breath and let it out slowly before wiping his eyes. “Sorry, I just, I haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Why didn’t you call us?” Dex asked. “You know we would have done whatever we could to help.”

“I know, but sometimes he just can’t see anyone. It’s not because he doesn’t want to. He can’t. Having someone besides me or Seb there with him could make it worse.” He gave Dex a wobbly smile. “But next time, I’ll ask him if he’s okay with one of you guys coming over. He might like it.”

“Has he gone to his doctor to see what’s going on with his meds? They seemed to be helping him just fine,” Ash said. He didn’t like all these different Therian meds floating around, and after years of working, why were Hobbs’s meds failing him now?

Calvin shook his head. “We’re working our way up to an appointment. I don’t get it. They were really helping him until recently. He had a refill of his prescription a couple of weeks ago, but there were no changes to his dose, so I have no idea what’s going on.”

“Let us know if you or he needs anything,” Cael said gently.

“Thanks. So what’s this meeting about? And why are we having it at Dekatria?”