“How do you know Fuller?”
“That day your dad came to Dekatria, we were upstairs talking, and he told me.”
“What?” Cael pulled back, his expression hurt. “When were you going to tell me? I can’t believe this.”
“Cael—”
“Did my dad tell you how Fuller used to knock me around? How he’d push me to do things to him and then make me feel like a filthy piece of shit for doing it? For two years I believed every word that came out of his mouth. I lied to my family and defended him. He made me feel like I was worthless, like no one in their right mind would ever love me because I was weak and useless. And maybe I am, because everyone seems to think I can’t do anything for myself. They treat me like a child. My dad, my brother… you. I haven’t seen Fuller in years, and he shows up out of the blue, and I….” Cael wiped a runaway tear from his cheek. “I fall apart. What kind of THIRDS agent does that?”
“The kind who’s been through a hell of a lot,” Ash said gently. “We might be agents, but that doesn’t mean we’re not vulnerable. You got blindsided by that asshole. I should have told you your dad brought Fuller up, but you need to understand something. Your brother, your dad, and I don’t think of you as a kid. We think of you as someone we love with everything we’ve got, who we can’t stand to see get hurt or worse. And the truth of it is, it’s not just about you.”
“What do you mean?”
“We all know what it’s like to lose family, to lose people we care about. The thought of losing you… I can’t. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you, even if it makes you hate me for it. I love you.”
Cael’s smile stole Ash’s breath away.
“You do?”
Ash nodded. “I do. I love you, Cael. I’ve been fighting it a long time, and I can’t anymore. More importantly, I don’t want to.” He swallowed hard and met Cael’s gaze. “I’ll try harder. I don’t want to hurt you. When I do, it kills me. I’ll deal with my shit, I promise, but in the meantime, I want you to be with
me.” He laced their fingers together. “I’ll admit, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but as long as I’m doing it with you, I know I’ll be okay.”
“Ash….”
“If you tell your brother about how sappy I sound, I will seriously have to retaliate. Like, tell him you have his iPod.”
Cael’s jaw dropped, but his eyes were filled with amusement. “You’d narc on me to my brother?”
“If it means keeping him off my back about not being an asshole, then I might. Probably not, but I feel like I need to have some kind of leverage. Who the fuck am I kidding? You know you have me wrapped around your little finger. God, is this what it’s like for Sloane and your brother?” No wonder Sloane was always giving in to Dex. How the hell could he say no to anything this amazing man asked of him?
“Sort of. Unlike Dex, I promise not to abuse my power.”
A mischievous smile came onto his face. Damn, he was beautiful.
“Too much.”
“You little sneak.” Ash poked Cael playfully in the ribs, making him squirm.
“Stop!” Cael squealed.
The door slammed open, and a familiar voice shouted out, “Hands where I can see them!”
Ash slowly put his hands up, and Cael joined him, his eyes wide.
“Shit,” Dex muttered, Sloane cringing behind him.
“Did you just kick my front door in?” Cael crawled off Ash and scrambled to his feet, his hands going to his head at the sight of splintered wooden doorframe. “You kicked in my door!”
He spun to his brother, who returned his gun to his off-duty holster.
“Um, happy New Year?”
“What the hell, man?”
“Dude, you disappeared from the bar without saying a word, left your coat behind, and then Bradley says you weren’t looking so good, and after you left some guys got into an epic fistfight outside. There’s blood in the fucking snow and you don’t pick up your damn phone and—”
Cael looked away, his voice soft. “It was Fuller.”