Until Arden

I keep busy while the group is eating, checking in on Holden discreetly from the entrance of the room. I know from experience, that when he sees me, he’s more prone to getting rambunctious. As I peek around the corner, I see Dash calmly correcting Holden when he tries to take a crayon from the boy sitting next to him. Holden pouts, then reaches up and yanks on Dash’s beard.

Dash’s eyes widen. My voice catches in my throat, and I start to rush forward on instinct. But Dash calmly directs Holden’s hand away, and leans toward him, speaking in a hushed voice.

Holden stares up at him, shakes his head. “Sorry.”

Dash smiles, and ruffles Holden’s hair, then he holds up a fist. When Holden looks at him quizzically, Dash takes him by the wrist and shows him how to fist bump. Leaning in, Dash whispers something in his ear, causing Holden to laugh and bump fists again.

Shane would have lost it. He had two ways of doing that. The first was explosive, the second was a silent, seething, hostility. They were both terrifying, and some days his triggers could be as small as eating the last biscuit or finishing off the box of cereal he never ate, but suddenly decided that he wanted.

Tears prickle at my eyes. A mixture of pain from the past and relief at watching Holden smiling.

When Dash lifts his head, he does a double-take in my direction, then smiles.

Oh, god. I realize that without even thinking about It, I’m smiling back. After confirming that everyone is still doing okay, and clearing the remaining empty plates, Talon hands me a stack of bills and tells me to keep the change. Tucking the cash in my apron, I retreat into the open dining room. It’s easier to breathe out here.

I load the dishes on the rack and head to the bar to cash out, but after counting out the cash, I realize I made a mistake and start over.

I count it again. Then stare down at the stack when I come up with the same number. There’s no way. They must have counted wrong.

“Everything going okay?” Janelle asks, catching me as she passes the bar.

“Yeah.” My voice comes out much higher than expected. I clear my throat, even though that’s not the problem. “I think they gave me more money than they intended to.”

Janelle purses her lips and lowers her head. “They didn’t.”

“But—” I do the math in my head. That’s almost a thirty percent tip.

“You counted right. They counted right. Just go with it.” She nudges me in the arm with her shoulder. “Once they’re finished up and you reset the party room, I think we can handle things for the rest of the night. I know you’d be losing a couple of hours, but if you want to pick them up early on Wednesday while Holden’s at daycare, you’re welcome to come in and open.”

“That sounds perfect.” Although, with that tip, I don’t exactly need to make up for anything. I spin on my heels to face her. “I need you to talk me down.”

“From what?” Her eyes narrow, and I look off toward the party room to avoid her gaze, essentially telling her everything she needs to know.

“Dash?” Her voice is clipped as she stifles her laughter. “You’re developing a thing for Dash? I mean, I get it.” Leaning against the counter, Janelle tips her head to the side. “But didn’t you swear off all men for, what was it? Until the universe collapses and the stars melt into oblivion?”

I didn’t expect her to remember my exact words, but this tingling sensation creeps up around my shoulder blades even imagining the possibility of letting myself fall for someone. “It’s just that Holden really likes him, and Dash is so patient with him. I want to relax and appreciate it, but putting everything that happened to rest. Fearing that someone will hurt Holden like...”

Janelle takes me by the shoulders and squeezes. “I know protecting your son is the most important thing in the world to you, but Dash is not Shane. He and I were together when his youngest niece was born. Those girls stuck to him like velcro and he’s a natural. That’s the only way I can describe it.”

If he’s so great, why did they break up?Although I admit, I understand that you can like and respect someone without having a romantic interest. There’s still this niggling feeling that there’s more to their story. I just don’t want to be the rude, asshole who pushes the topic. After all, she hasn’t pushed me on the secrets I’m not ready to share either.

I notice most of the group leaving the party room, so I put in a to-go order to enjoy an easy meal after work and get to work cleaning and resetting everything. Dash tries to keep Holden contained in the corner table, but after the food, lemonade, and cupcake, he’s wound and Dash struggles to keep up. I’m just focused on cleaning. The faster I can get done, the sooner we can be done with this chaotic afternoon.

Somehow Dash gets Holden’s attention enough to convince him to “help” us move the tables and chairs. With the last chair in place, Holden steps back, lets out a loud sigh, and rubs the back of his arm across his forehead like he’s wiping sweat from his brow.