Until Arden

Chapter 13

Dash

It’sstartingtofeel like Arden and Holden are slowly moving into my home. I’m trying not to get too attached to the idea but now that they’ve been with me every day for the last two weeks, it’s also impossible to think about what life would be like if we got the whole Shane situation wrapped up and they moved back to their rental.

Sometimes, the mornings are chaotic, far noisier than I'm used to, and sleeping on the couch isn't doing wonderful things for my back. I've realized without them around, my house simply feels like an empty, lifeless structure.

Holden sits with me at the kitchen table, singing to himself while he eats a bowl of cereal, while I sip my morning coffee and Arden rushes from room to room. She swings by the kitchen long enough to grab another bite of her cold toast, and then she's gone again.

She’s been rushing around like this ever since Janelle texted her to see if she would come in two hours early, deal with deliveries, and open the restaurant. So, Jax is following her there and I’m dropping off Holden at daycare before meeting Talon to survey the site for our next project.

I took a few days off work in the beginning to get them settled before we eased back into our pseudo-normal routines, with escorts and guards on Arden or Holden most of the day. According to the last update from Jax, Shane’s trail has gone cold. He wasn’t at the address he provided to the union. The ID he provided was fake, and Harry insists he “up and disappeared” shortly after the screwdriver incident. They’re practically chasing a ghost at this point. He has no property here, no family, and even the members of the union who worked with him can’t give us much to go on.

All we can do for the moment is carry on. And while part of me still chafes at my feelings of helplessness, I can still feel something beginning.

Something that I’m determined to nurture and protect.

Arden grabs her bag and kisses Holden on the head. “Be good for Dash, and have fun at daycare.”

Holden merely slurps his cereal milk in response.

“Why not have fun with Dash, and be good at daycare?” I tease, catching her by the waist as she passes.

Arden gives me a flat look and shakes her head. “I figured that could go unsaid.”

She pinches Holden’s side playfully, and he cranes his neck to look up at her. “Love you, Mommy.”

I can see her heart melting instantly. She leans over the back of his chair, wraps her arms around his chest, and gives him a squeeze. “I love you, too.” She checks the time on her phone. “I’m going to be late.”

I know it’s been hard for her, fearing how and when Shane will make his next move. But with everyone important informed of the situation, she decided it would be best for Holden to stay in daycare where he can enjoy the company of kids his age. The daycare director has been nothing short of outstanding since Arden mentioned her concerns, and even allowed Jax and his team to review their security precautions for any potential holes.

We’ve done what we can but waiting around for Shane to strike still leaves me with a gnawing anxiety every second of the day, especially when I can't be with them.

I follow her to the door and wait for her to toss her bag over her shoulder and flip her hair out of her face. She tries not to show her frustration around Holden, but I can see it gnawing at the edges of her features. If it were up to me, I'd keep them both locked in my house under my supervision until Jax and the guys track Shane down but that wouldn't be fair to anyone.

And it would prove to Shane that he still holds power over her—something she's determined not to let happen.

I lift her chin and kiss her softly. “I love you, Ari.”

She closes her eyes, leaning into me. “I love you, too.”

Despite spending the last twenty minutes rushing around the house and insisting that the delivery truck will get to Paddy's before her, she now hesitates.

I hold her by the waist, and she peeks through the window. I look forward to the day she no longer has to look over her shoulder, waiting for the worst. The day our plans don't have to revolve around having someone watching over her or Holden. For now, I simply try my best to keep her smile in place, and Holden safe and happy.

Arden sighs and shakes her head as if trying to clear it. Then she stretches up to wrap her arms around my neck and presses her lips to mine. “I’ll see you tonight.”

I kiss her once more, and she finally turns to head out.

I know Jax is watching her from the street, but I stand in the open doorway and watch Arden walk to her car. She slides into the driver seat and gives me a parting wave.

The morning light is reflected in the surface of the windshield, so all I can see is the flash of her eyes, and the tip of her nose before she pulls away from the curb and turns down the street.

I turn to the kitchen, where Holden is still at the table, playing with his empty cereal bowl.

We still have almost an hour to kill before I can drop him off at daycare, so I put on some cartoons, and we enjoy our new morning tradition of pretend fighting.

When Holden is thoroughly giggling, I pick him up, and he wraps his arms around my neck. “Love you.”

Caught off guard, I freeze for a moment, trying to keep a smile on my face. I do love him, with every fiber of my being, but I also wish Arden had left me a manual for this situation. He’s still so young, and I don’t want to confuse him, to have him get the wrong idea. “I love you, too, buddy.”

He wraps his arms around my neck and nestles his head against my shoulder. Such a simple, little gesture, and it’s all I can do to keep my emotions at bay until the alarm on my phone goes off.

I ruffle Holden’s hair and ask him to put on his shoes and grab his backpack for daycare. It’s drizzling, so I grab Holden’s light jacket off the top of a bag of clothing we brought over from Arden’s house last weekend, and once he's ready to go, I take his hand as we walk out to my truck.

The rain smacks down on my back, soaking through my shirt, as I put Holden in his seat and buckle him in.

Perfect day for surveying a new building site. I rush to the driver’s side and hop in, quickly closing the door behind me. I’m already soaked, but by the time I start the truck and flick on the windshield wipers, the sun peeks out from the clouds.

I pull out onto the street and peek at Holden in the rearview mirror. He is leaning to the side, staring up at the sky and humming to himself. I listen to his little tune as we make our way off the back roads to the main street. I try to take a slightly different route each day, but there are some parts that can’t be avoided without a major detour.

His humming stops when a hole in the sky breaks open, and another rain shower suddenly blankets us. I press on the brakes to slow down well ahead of the downhill stretch that leads into a steep curve, but I nearly have to put the pedal through the floor to have any effect.

Shit.

Nothing on the dash shows a problem, so I release the brake and press again. Nothing. If I try to make the turn and skid off the road and into the tree line, Holden’s side of the truck will take the brunt of the impact. My heart pounds, but I have to stay calm and figure out how to keep the truck on the road.

I shift the transmission into low gear, and the engine slows us down, but not enough to make up for the incline before the curve, so I grab the emergency brake and apply it a little at a time to avoid skidding.

The truck pulls left, despite my best efforts to keep it steady. I pull up on the parking brake a little more, but that only causes the truck to buck sideways again, and the back tires lose traction.

Adrenaline surges as I prepare for impact. The best I can do at this point is try to control the slide as much as possible.

Fuck.