“Yes,” Jax says.
We take Holden outside and let Timber entertain him while we discuss everything from the porch. Jax pulls over a wooden chair, while Dash and I take the swing. He puts his arm over my shoulders, allowing me to lean into his side.
“We found Shane hunkering down at a little motel north of Nashville,” Jax says. Unfortunately, he might have gotten a little banged up when he tried to run. Then, he offered up some story about acting in his son’s self-defense when he saw Dash driving recklessly with him in the car. From what we’re putting together though, it seems like Dash was the target. I don’t think he expected Holden to be in the truck.”
A cold knot of rage builds at the base of my neck. “Can I talk to him?”
Dash squeezes my arm, and I wish I'd had taken a moment to ease him into it. “I need to hear it myself. I need to face him.”
Jax sighs. “He's going to try to manipulate you.”
I nod and smile at my son, who is making silly faces at Timber. I hope he doesn't have to see any more of this pain than he already has. “I know.”
It feels like we're in limbo, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don't know what I'm going to say to Shane, or how I'm going to feel when I say it, but I can't pretend I don't need to say it. I need to finally face him head on.
To get that face-to-face confrontation and maybe, just maybe, I can rip that last little bit of fear from my heart.
Dash finally grabs my hand and squeezes it, gently, lovingly. “If that’s what you really want, I know you can handle it. You’re stronger than he ever wanted you to believe.”
I nod, letting the warm feeling from his touch wash over me and offer me some strength.
Jax’s phone rings, and he steps off to the side, whispering something I can't quite hear.
While we wait, I focus on the sound of Dash's breathing, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, the sweet, familiar scent of his skin, the way his hand fits perfectly around mine.
I feel my shoulders relax, and when Jax comes back, I'm ready to face my demons.
My hands are shaking as I take a seat across from Shane. I look around the small room, taking in the peeling paint and smudged furniture. I try to push my fear aside and focus on the anger coursing through me.
Shane is pale under the fluorescent lighting, and he looks like he's aged ten years since I last saw him.
“Why?” I finally ask, my voice barely above a whisper. I lean forward, clenching my fists in my lap. I want to scream, but I keep my voice low, focused. “Why would you do this?”
“Look, honey, all I know is some strange man was driving erratically with my son in the back seat of his truck. You certainly weren't there to protect him.”
“Protect him? You traumatized him.”
“I thought he was being reckless. I couldn't just stand by and let him hurt my son.”
“You keep saying he's your son, but he isn't. You're a stranger to him, and he's better off that way.” He tries to interrupt me, but I continue speaking over him. “You weren't there when I found out I was pregnant. You weren't there when he was born. You have never been there for him, and you want to sit here and claim him when you see him as nothing more than a pawn.”
“You never gave me a chance to be a father.”
“Do you really expect me to believe that you would have acted any differently? All it ever took was one little thing out of place for you to lose your temper. What would have happened the first time you stepped on a lego or tripped over a toy car?” My cheeks heat and I hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears. “You couldn't care less about the trauma you've caused or the trauma you would continue to cause him because all you ever think about is yourself.”
I can tell that I've stung him, and I can see the rage burning in his eyes. “You're as hysterical as ever.”
I let out a harsh laugh. “You're goddamn right I'm hysterical. You had no right to go after Dash.”
Shane leans into his elbows. “You really think you know him?”
“I do, and so does Holden.” I lean forward as well, mocking his posture. “By the way, Holden was released from the hospital where you abandoned him. Not that you actually care. Fortunately, he wasn't injured in the accident.”
I glare at him, but he chews on his cheek unwilling to respond. I wish I could reach across the table and slap him across the face. “You could have killed my child.”
“It wasn't my fault.”
“Right, you have no idea how Dash's brakes were tampered with, or how the safety features were deactivated. Just like how you claimed to have no idea why my car wouldn't start when you found out I was picking up extra shifts to get money to leave you.”
His jaw clenches, and his knuckles turn white as he balls them up and presses them into the table. “I tried to help you.”
“No, Shane, the only person you've ever wanted to help is yourself. You blame everyone else when you fuck up, just so you don't have to take responsibility. You are a coward.” I'm shaking with anger, but I take a deep breath and calm myself. “All I see when I look at you are the bruises you left on me. All I hear is your voice when you called me worthless, when you told me you never loved me. There is no way I will ever let you anywhere near my son when he already has a man in his life who is willing to sacrifice everything to keep him safe and teach him how to be a respectful, caring person.”
I wait for Shane to speak, but he just looks away. I stand up and head for the door. “You are nothing but a sick, manipulative, pathetic human being, and you will never use fear to control me again.”