“It’s one thing when you’re just listening. They’re talking in a public space. But asking specific questions could raise suspicions. What will you do if word gets back to Cahill?” As he spoke, his arms came tighter around her to hold her body to his.
“I don’t have to do anything. Maybe he’ll demand another waitress wait on him. Boy, that would break my heart.”
“What if you lose your job?”
She rolled her eyes. “This is my seventh job in like five years. Yeah, I’ve had this one longest, but that’s because I like it.” He frowned. “However, it’s not like there aren’t a million bars in Chicago. I’m pretty sure I can find another job if I have to.”
Even though she would hate leaving the Rose, she would do it if it got him answers. This was the first job since college that she felt at home and enjoyed going to work. But it was still just a job.
“I don’t like it.”
She stroked his jaw, enjoying the feel of his beard. “I want to help.”
“Why?” he whispered, almost as if he hadn’t planned to ask.
“Because you deserve answers. It’s something that obviously has weighed on you for years and has influenced many parts of your life. If I can help get you answers that will give you peace, how could I not help?”
“You know you’re too good for me, right?”
“Nah. You’ve seen my naughty cross stitch.”
“You know what I mean.”
She stepped back from his arms. “No, I really don’t. We’re two consenting adults having a good time.”
“Except your reputation is that of a good, wholesome girl who doesn’t get into trouble, goes to church, and sits down for family dinners. I’ve been arrested more times than I care to think about, haven’t gone to church since my dad’s disappearance, and my family is...not like yours.”
She smiled. “I like your family. You guys have the freedom to be honest and you say what’s on your mind to each other. There are no games or passive-aggressive jabs.”
He chuckled and the sound reverberated through her. “No, we’re just aggressive-aggressive.”
“But there’s no mistaking how you feel. I wish my family was more like that.”
“What are you talking about?”
“In my family, there’s a lot of emphasis placed on how things look and being polite and nice to everyone. It’s exhausting. At least for me. My good girl reputation? It takes effort and I have it because my mom would have it no other way.”
It was the same reason she’d stayed with Tim so long. They were supposed to be perfect for each other. “My ex was like that too.”
She stopped herself, not wanting to think about Tim, and stepped closer to Ronan again. He wrapped his arms around her waist. “That’s why I like being with you. I don’t have to filter what I say.”
“Like what?”
“For example, my family would die—literally keel over—if they heard me tell you that I want you to take me to bed and eat me out until I scream. Then I want you to fuck me until I pass out.”
“I could see how your mom might find that inappropriate.”
“But you don’t.”
“Not at all. I like explicit directions.”
“Oh, I can be more explicit than that.” She pulled him toward her bedroom and showed him how explicit she could be.