In Too Deep

Ronan and Brendanagreed to go together to talk to their mom. She believed Alan was a good guy who helped her out after Dad disappeared. Even though they believed she was being naïve, she considered him a friend. Brendan was already there waiting in his car when Ronan parked his truck. They met on the lawn.

“What? Afraid to go in without me?”

“Funny,” Brendan answered. “I thought we should do this together.”

Side by side, they walked up the front steps. Brendan knocked but didn’t wait for an answer. He twisted the knob and they strode in. “Hey, Mom. You up here?”

She came from the kitchen and looked at them oddly. “What are the two of you doing here?”

“We need to talk,” Brendan said.

She settled on the armchair in the living room. Brendan sat near her on the couch. Ronan chose to stand.

“What’s happened? Who’s hurt?” she asked quietly but firmly.

“Alan Cahill died,” Brendan said.

Ronan stared at their mother, watching her reaction. Her hand slowly moved to her mouth and pressed against her lips.

Before she said anything, Brendan continued. “He had a heart attack.”

She lowered her hand and pinned Ronan with a look. “And why are you here delivering this news? I’m sure as soon as I step outside, someone would be talking about it.”

“We think—” Brendan started.

“We more than think. Alan had something to do with Dad going missing. Brendan and I have been working to find some answers.”

“I told you that the Cahills didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“Why do you think that? Because he gave you money? They think they can buy their way out of everything.”

She rose and stared up at him. “You don’t understand. There are a lot of things you don’t know. Things were different back then, but Alan was never evil.”

“Evil or not, he was shady as fuck.” Ronan’s voice rose as his mother’s quieted. They expressed anger so differently, but they recognized when nothing was changing.

He waited for her to reprimand him for his language. Instead, she sucked in a sharp inhale.

“You’re going to keep pushing the Cahills, aren’t you?”

Brendan finally stood. “We have to, Mom. Someone knows something.”

“At least have the decency to leave them alone in their grief.” Then she turned and walked back to the kitchen.

The brothers watched her leave and then stared at each other as if to ask if they should follow.

“Shit. You pissed her off. I’m not going in there.”

Ronan shook his head. “I’m pretty sure that was her way of telling us to leave her alone. Come on.”

They left the house and stood outside his truck. “Why does she keep believing in him?” Ronan asked.

Brendan sighed. “We were kids. We didn’t know anything other than Dad was gone. We never considered what it was like for her.” He paused. “What it is like for her.”

“What?”

“She lost her husband. She’s held her shit together for all of these years. Think about it. Did you ever see her fall apart?”

Ronan shook his head. Their mother was made of nothing less than steel.

“She did that for us. And now we’re here telling her that the support system she had—no matter how shitty it was—is the cause of everything.”

A stab of guilt jabbed into Ronan’s chest. He was an idiot. He couldn’t imagine his mom not being okay. She just handled things, did what she had to do. He’d never thought that she considered Alan a friend.

“See you at the wake?” Brendan asked.

Ronan looked at him. “You’re coming to that?”

Brendan huffed. “Just because Mom thinks we should leave them alone, doesn’t mean we should. I want Danny to know we’re still here looking for answers. Nolan asking questions was just the beginning.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Takes one to know one. And you like me this way.”

Ronan shook his head. He did like his brother. He’d missed him over the last few years even if they did butt heads constantly. “See you there.”