Why Did It Have To Be You?

Brian just laughs and continues to eat his food.

It’s quiet for a few minutes as we all eat our food. Finally Dean says “So, how long have you two been together?”

Brian pipes in right away “6 months. We met in class.”

Dean looks right at me. “6 months huh?” I stare right back at his eyes and can read everything he is saying in between the lines. Six months means me and Brian were together when we met, and also that Brian is for sure the one who ditched me on my birthday to go see his ex.

Dean continues “I didn’t realize you were serious with anyone. I thought you were still dating... what’s her name again? Madison?”

He did not just go there. Brian looks at his dad like he betrayed him. “No dad. Me and Madison are just friends. Have been since middle school.”

Dean nods and continues “Obviously, you have a serious girlfriend now. When did you two move in together.”

For some reason that I don’t understand, I feel the need to let Dean know it happened after we were together. “Just last month. My lease was up and we figured we’d save money by only renting one apartment while finishing school.”

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel guilty. Like I am only with Brian to save money to pay for school, so I quickly add on “Plus it’s much easier having our stuff all in one place since I was there most nights anyway.”

Dean’s face cringes when I mention staying the night. I mean it’s not like he thought we never slept together. We live together. Obviously we are having sex. Or we were having sex before the birthday fight.

The rest of dinner is mostly Brian and Dean talking about Brian’s classes and filling him in on what his mom is up to these days. As if this day couldn’t get any worse, Brian’s phone rings as we are clearing the dishes to the sink. Madison’s name flashes across the screen and I know Dean sees it. Brian says he’ll be right back and walks out of the room to answer. I call out to him that I am going to bed and try to leave the kitchen as soon as possible.

As I am walking out, Dean grabs my elbow to stop me. I try to catch my breath, looking straight ahead too nervous to face him now that we are alone.

Instead of trying to turn me around, he just leans forward and whispers into my ear “We need to talk.”

His voice is so stern and commanding and it makes my mind wander to other situations in which he could use that voice on me. I shake my head a little to stop myself from thinking that way.

I finally turn around and look at him. I hate that I still get the same feelings towards him that I had at the bar that night. I can feel my body reacting to his stare the same way. I still want him.

I just want to avoid him and walk away so I don’t have to confront what I am feeling. I am with Brian now, so that is exactly what I do. I avoid.

“No, I don’t think we have anything to talk about at all.”

I try to make my face indifferent towards him to pretend that night meant nothing to me at all even though I haven’t stopped thinking about it since it happened.

He pauses for a moment, but then his hand tightens on my elbow and he leans down so his face is next to mine. I can feel his breath on my neck and goosebumps flood up my arms. I know he can feel it. I can’t see his smirk but I can feel it since his lips are so close to my skin.

All he says is “Yes. Yes we do.”

Then he lets go and walks back toward the kitchen to finish the dishes. I quickly turn around to get out of here before Brian comes back, and I run up to my room. I close the door and close my eyes trying to figure out how I should play this. Should I avoid him? Should I play his game? Should I sleep with him? Whoa. No. Where did that come from? That’s not me. I don’t cheat on my partners. This whole Maddison thing is just making my brain all messed up. I am imagining things that never actually happened, and that is not fair to Brian. I just need to put Dean out of my mind. I need to get things back to normal with Brian is all, starting with being with him physically again. Yes, that’s it. I am probably just acting crazy because I haven’t had sex in two months even though I have been surrounded by these gorgeous Douglas men.

I feel better now that I have made that decision. I lay on the bed to wait for Brian to come up so we can get things back to normal, but after a few minutes of laying on this obviously very expensive and comfy mattress, I fall into the deep sleep I needed to process what a crazy day this has been.

Chapter 5

The next few days are pretty normal. Brian was right about how much his dad works. With my night classes and working at the diner and his busy work schedule, I have barely seen him, which is probably for the best. The longer we can avoid each other, the more we can get used to the idea that I am with Brian and nothing is ever going to happen between us. Or maybe that is just me thinking something would ever happen between us. What was I thinking? He probably just wants to talk about what happened to tell me he was drunk and we can’t ever let Brian find out about this. Except the way he was looking at me tells a different story. Ugh! Even when I don’t see him, he is still somehow occupying my thoughts.

When Friday evening rolls around, I finally have a day off. I am sitting on the living room couch reading a book while Brian is playing his video games. I am content and cozy with my feet on his lap. Our schedules have clashed the past few days but we can finally have tonight together, so I plan to make the most of it.

I start casually rubbing my foot against his thigh, inching slowly up his leg. I see his eyes glance towards my foot and then back to his game, but a small smirk is now on his lips. A couple minutes later his game ends and his hand grabs my foot and he slowly makes his way up my ankle. I am wearing my comfy pajama shorts that Brian loves. They are very short but loose at the bottom, so there is very easy access. His hands make it up to my thighs and I am finally starting to feel good with him again. As his thumb brushes at the hem of my shorts, his lips lightly press on my neck. He breathes out softly “Caroline…”

A moment later the front door swings open and Dean walks in. It feels as if a cold bucket of water was just poured on me, and I gently push at Brian’s chest to put distance between us.

Dean is just standing by the door for a moment looking at us. It almost seems like he is stunned to see us

together, but he quickly gains composure and starts undoing his suit jacket and setting his briefcase on the table by the door.

He looks good coming home from a day at the office. He wears the same type of suit he wore the night we met, and it reminds me of how it felt to have my hands on him in those clothes.