Bare Yourself (Consumed)

Chapter Three

Tegan

I step out of my truck, locking the door behind me. Tipping my head back, I look up at the sky and watch dark clouds rapidly make their way overhead. Lightning strikes in the distance, but the storm is still too far away to hear the rumble of thunder. The meteorologist said we were supposed to have clear skies today. Dumb fucks don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about half the time.

I walk toward Suzie’s, a small hole-in-the-wall place my friends and I frequent often, pocketing my keys along the way. A bell jingles when I open the door, but I’ve been here so many times that I hardly notice it. I’m flipping my sunglasses to sit on the top of my head when I spot Ava at our usual booth. I’m running late, so I’m surprised Nathan and Abby aren’t here yet. I take a seat across from her.

“Nathan and Abby not coming?” I flip over my cup and pour myself some coffee from the pot I know Ava ordered for me. It’s six in the evening, but I’m a caffeine junkie and can drink it all day, every day.

Ava sets her phone face down—she’s always fiddling with the damn thing—before answering.

“Abby’s not. Colt’s meeting ran late and she’s at home waiting on him. She knew we would be here for a while, so… you know.” She finishes with a shrug.

I do know. The thing about my friends and me is, we have unusual sexual practices, or in Abby’s case, addiction. Legit, the girl is addicted to sex. Like full-on addiction. If she doesn’t have sex at least once a day, she goes through withdrawals like a drug addict would; headaches, stomach cramps, nausea, irritability… you get the point. She and Colt have been together for close to six months now and they’ve worked out a system between them. Abby seems to have more control over her addiction, but I know she still struggles at times. Out of the four of us, Abby was the one that was affected the most by her situation. Luckily, Colt’s a stubborn sonofabitch and never gave up on proving to Abby he could handle her addiction. He’s done a world of good for her, and I’m happy for them both. Abby deserves happiness.

“And Nathan?” I take a sip of my black coffee. It burns as it hits my throat but tastes damn good. None of that sugar or creamer shit for me. I like my coffee as strong as God intended it to be.

“He’s on his way. 9B came home last night, so he’s been busy.”

The waitress comes up for our order, but we tell her we’re still waiting on someone and we’ll let her know when we’re ready. I eye her as she walks away to see if she could potentially be a player in one of my games, but decide she wouldn’t be the type. It’s not that I’m overly picky, it’s just I can usually tell if someone would be into my kind of kink. The exhibitionism kind of kink. That’s my sexual vice. I love to be watched when I fuck someone. Male or female, it doesn’t matter who watches. My preference is kind of tricky, because I not only have to find a partner willing to let someone else watch, but I also need to find a watcher as well. On the occasion I can’t find one, I usually use Nathan, Ava, or a couple other friends I have. When I use Nathan, it works out perfectly for both of us, because his thing is voyeurism.

I like the thought of someone getting off on what I’m doing with my partner. Something we’ve both agreed to and both enjoy doing together. It’s not that I need to have sex in front of someone, I can get off without a watcher, I just prefer someone else there to see it.

“How’s your mom?” Ava interrupts my thoughts, making me wish she’d never spoken.

My friends know about the shit my mom did to me, but it wasn’t until recently that I’ve told them about her cancer and my visits to her. None understand why I go see her. Hell, I don’t understand it myself, but they don’t blast me for it either.

“Weaker than last week. I wish she’d just go ahead and die and get it over with,” I mutter.

It sounds harsh, but it’s how I feel. Any loving feelings for my mom died the day my father found me and took me away.

Ava tips her head to the side, watching me curiously. “Why do you go see her if you hate her so much?”

I shrug. “Hell if I know. Only thing I can think of is I’m hoping it’ll be when I’m there. I know it’s fucked-up, but I have this need to watch the life drain from her eyes.”

I look up at Ava and see sympathy, an emotion I hate. It’s been years since I was under the morbid control of my mother. I’m over what she did, emotionally and physically, and unless you’ve walked step-by-step in my footprints and felt what I felt during those moments, then you can’t sympathize. Every life experience is different, unique, no matter how close they may be, there’s no way you can sympathize with someone if you haven’t been in the exact same position. Ava carries secrets, secrets she keeps to herself, but she doesn’t carry the same experiences as me; however, she’s my friend, and I know she means well, so I let the emotion I see in her eyes slide by.

“You think Nathan will ever grow a pair and introduce himself to 9B?” I ask, changing the subject.

We’ve dubbed the girl Nathan is obsessed with watching 9B because she lives in the apartment building across from his and that’s her apartment number.

She rolls her eyes and grabs her phone off the table, flipping it over and looking at the screen before putting it back down.

“Probably not. It’s been what? A year now? I think he’ll be content to just watch her for the rest of his life.”

I tend to agree. Nathan’s sexual vice might be watching people performing sexual acts, but it’s that particular woman he enjoys watching the most. According to Nathan, she never brings another guy home, but she’s definitely very much into sex. She just likes having it with herself, or rather her fingers or vibrators.

Speak of the devil. The door jingles and in walks the man himself. He doesn’t even look to see if we’re here before he turns and makes his way over to us.

“Glad to see you’ve finally decided to join us,” I remark, which earns me a scowl from Nathan.

“Scoot,” he says to Ava, throwing his keys on the table then taking a seat beside her. “And you shut your fucking mouth,” he throws my way.

The balled-up napkin I finger kick at him hits his chest, but he pays it no mind.

“So, how’s 9B? Get lucky today?” I ask, just to fuck with him. Nathan’s the more serious of the four of us. It takes a lot to get him to crack a smile, and I’ve found I like to bust his balls sometimes. He makes it so damn easy.

Not surprisingly, Nathan ignores my taunt. I eye the waitress across the floor, then flick my chin up at her when she notices our other party has arrived.

I try again when she walks off with our order.

“When are you going to let me fuck her while you watch?”

I’ve seen 9B, and let’s just say, I would very much enjoy helping my friend out by letting him watch me fuck her silly. Does that sound twisted? Damn right it does, but that’s just our twisted sexual desires for you.

I’m still unsure if Nathan will allow it or not though. This girl is different. He’s fixated on her, has been for a long time now, so I don’t know how possessive he’ll be of her. I can’t imagine him letting just anyone have her, but it’s also hard to believe that he’ll attach himself to her. He’s never gone this long without making physical contact with a girl and ultimately asking her to be part of his own sexual depravities.

The look Nathan gives me at my suggestion says he’s at war with himself. He’s looking at me like he wants to rip off my dick and shove it down my throat. But he also looks intrigued. He wants to watch her with someone, but a small part of him doesn’t. I think he also wants to keep her to himself, and the only reason he hasn’t gone to her yet is because he’s never seen her with anyone. To him, she’s still just his.

“You let me know when you’re ready,” I tell his quiet form. He still hasn’t said anything, looking lost in thought at the possibility. I may bust his chops about 9B, but if he needs to keep her to himself, I’ll respect that.

He gives me a curt nod, letting me know he heard me.

The waitress comes and drops off our food. I look over at Ava and see her nose is stuck back in her phone. I reach across the table and steal it away from her.

“Hey,” she yells, reaching across and trying to grab it from my hands, which I hold away from her.

I look down at the phone and snort out a laugh.