Jerk

“Nightstand, bottom drawer, behind my socks.”

That’s where I find his lube and condoms. I waste no time peeling off the wrapper, rolling it on, then lubing up. As I climb over Danny again, I hook his toned, shapely legs over my shoulders, then position myself right at his hole, which I tease with a few lubricated fingertips. I have the pleasure of watching Danny’s face squirm as I gently torture his hole. He looks like he hasn’t had sex in ages, every inch of his body desperate for relief. Even as I massage his hole into a state of total relaxation, his eyes on mine, he licks his fingers and starts stroking himself, resuming right where I’d left off.

The way he looks at me now, with such openness and vulnerability, is something I will do everything in my power to never take advantage of. Danny is a person I don’t ever want to hurt again. I will protect him with everything I have. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s the most beautiful soul I have ever met, and he deserves any happiness he wants.

And I need to tell him that. “Danny, I promise you, I’ll never again—”

“I want you to wreck me,” he moans.

I blink. “What?”

“Wreck me. Destroy me. I’m all yours tonight, Rome, every part of me.”

Wow. This isn’t what I expected in-the-bed Danny to be like. Not that I’m complaining. “Are you totally sure? We can still take this slow. I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything. You’re the one in charge. You’ve always been.”

For a moment, the animal inside him is tamed. He peers at me, floating in the pleasurable space of whatever my fingers are doing to his hole, of how deeply he feels every stroke of his cock, of whatever he anticipates is about to happen when I enter him. I see him hearing my words. I see the joy in his eyes.

His voice softens. “I know you respect me. I know you always did, even when you didn’t know how to show it. I’ve felt nothing but respected and cared for this whole evening.”

Yes, we’re having this conversation with my lubricated fingertips in his asshole. “I’m glad you see that, Danny. I just want you to know it isn’t for show. I truly mean every word.”

“I know.” He grips the back of my head with his free hand, pulls me in for a kiss, then whispers to my face: “And I mean it when I say I want you to wreck me.”

Dear god. “You do?”

“Make me yours. Make me all yours. I want you to fuck me so hard, I forget everyone I’ve ever had sex with before. Fuck me so hard, you forget everyone you ever put on a bed, or sent out a door. Because none of them matter. There’s only you and me … and whatever’s about to happen.”

I can’t tell whether that is the most messed-up thing a guy has ever said to me, or the most romantic.

I’m hard as a rock, my heart gallops for him, and my soul is on fire. Of course I can give him exactly what he wants. But no matter how rough I am, or how deeply I pound him, the truth will remain the same: I’m actually all his, and every thought of every guy I’ve ever known is already long gone.

Danny Chen is the only man who will ever matter.

In fact, I think … “I think you’re the only guy who’s ever mattered to me, since the day I met you.”

I see his face melt under those words, like I just uttered a secret password that unlocked his heart. “Oh, Romeo … Romeo, Romeo, Romeo …”

Well, I should probably get started here before he starts reciting Shakespeare. “Strap in, Danny. I’m about to give you exactly what you want.”

My fingers are replaced by my cock.

Danny lets out one small gasp. His eyes rock back.

And I slide inside.

“Romeo …” He moans as I pump him deeply, pinning him to the bed.

I can barely make words. I’m on a whole other plane of existence with Danny in my grip, our bodies connected, our pleasure matching a frequency of its own. “I’m all yours,” I breathe in his ear as I go deeper and deeper with every thrust of my hips. I hear our flesh smacking together. I hear his moans and feel the vibrations they make in his chest. Our breaths crash against each other’s faces. “I’m all yours,” he moans right back. “Wreck me, Romeo, fuck, wreck me …”

There is no amount of casual sex that can replace the real thing. When you are with the man who matters, the man who can steal your heart away with just a glance of his beautiful eyes, you realize how starved you’ve been all your life. Have you ever actually had sex before? Was it all just a joke? Was it all just practice? Why didn’t I notice how numb and fruitless all of my past relationships have been?